He didn't take the meds to keep me from getting it. He took them to keep me from finding out about it. He said he's so relieved that now I know. Which I could understand to have that weight on his shoulders must have been horrible. But I wonder how many times I felt isolated or distant from him because he was actually having an outbreak and didn't want me to "want" to be intimate with him? It's a never ending circle starting with "What if". I think I'm honestly still in shock. What if he would've just told me? What if he would've came clean when I started to show signs? What if he wouldn't have tried to manipulative the situation?