Re: need help
Thanks for the kind words. I am honored if I have helped you along the way at all.
Did I get emotional and cry? Lordy, Secrets, there were times I truly wailed. I felt like a crumb for having put so much on my family and friends, particularly my husband. I cried for time lost enjoying my first grandchild. I cried SO much that at one visit, I told my doctor that I cried looking at a chair. He just stared at me, not understanding at all that I just meant I cried at the drop of a hat. Chuckles. Funny now, but frustrating then!!
Some of the emotion and crying, Honey, is merely a side effect of coming off the opiate. Give the brain time to level out and start producing the feel good chemicals naturally. We all HATE this part, but it truly does end. It is some depression that sets in. Help it move on out by forcing yourself to get physical... walking, running, dancing, jumping jacks, whatever. Force a fake smile on your face as it actually fools the brain and starts a bit of seratonin flowing. Stay strong during this phase... it does pass and is a very normal part of the process of restoration and renewal.
I am thrilled with your continuing success. I have to remind you, though, not to forget a HUGE part of recovery and that is aftercare. You have to discover and face head on the things locked up that led you to cross that line and start using drugs for emotional and spiritual pain. It must be done. If we neglect this part of an overall plan to get clean, renewed and restored, we will eventually fall right back into old addictive habits. We need to retrain the brain to react in healthier ways of coping with the stresses in our lives. Unfortunately, stresses are a normal part of life. We need to relearn and practice coping with them without drugs. Choices for help with this include: AA, NA, other 12 step programs, online, in person, psychologists, social workers. For me, a clinical social worker turned out to be the answer I needed for help. Eventually, under her expertise, I became skilled in self hypnosis. It helps me greatly in a concentrated focus into my subconscious to help discover things that are weighing on me that I am not allowing into my everyday consciousness. At first, it all sounded hokey to me and I was quite upfrint telling the social worker that. :-) Ultimately, though, it has turned out to be one of the strongest weapons in my arsenol for personal mental and spiritual health. That is me. Something totally different may be the answer for you. Just do not forget to get involved in some true help with live, 3-D people. We can only give our best to our family and friends when we are finally comfortable in ourselves. You will find that the things you learn during this time will reinforce more and more the extreme value of being honest and forthright in all we do and say.
Stay strong. You are doing a wonderful job here.