| | Need Help! Trust Issues Abound...
I have had a girlfriend for the last year and 3 months. Prior to that I was married for a little over 4 years. The woman I was married to cheated on me and left me for a married man. We had issues for about a year but I was always under the impression that we were working on our marriage issues. So the relationship ended horribly and it really left a bad taste in my mouth. Every one of my relationships have ended in heartache for myself. And I believe all of this is weighing on my current relationship. I have a hard time trusting the woman I am with now. We live together and we have had major issues the last 4-6 months now. I love her with all my heart and I am completely in love with her, but I continue to push her away with all my questioning and untrusting ways.
I want to spend all of my time with her and I give her my full undivided attention 24/7. I do anything she asks me to do and I feel I maybe do that because I want to keep her happy so that she doesn't leave me. I've always had slight trust issues with women, and I think that goes all the way back to my childhood. My real mom was never around for me and used me as a way to get child support from my father to support her drug and smoking habits. I don't know what my issue is, if I even have one, or if my girlfriend is the problem.
She has never done anything physically to make me not trust her. The only thing she has done is talk to some of her ex boyfriends on Facebook about the possibility of getting back together and she talked to some random dude on yahoo about her sexual fantasies. She likes to go to clubs about once a week and she knows everybody (literally). I've been with her a few times but it generally turns out badly because I see some guy put his grubby hands around her and it sends me off the deep end. She talks to all the guys in the club and knows most of them. They buy her drinks and she has conversations with them. She hugs them and sometimes kisses them on the cheek.
She does not text or talk to these guys on the phone but calls them her friends. She very rarely introduces me as her boyfriend and she goes around with her single cousin/best friend talking to all these guys. When we go I generally do not have a good time because we arrive together and she runs off with her cousin and leaves me to myself. She will occasionally come around to me. I feel she acts single when we go out but I don't know if that is the case or if I'm crazy. She has a very outgoing personality so that has a lot to do with her talking to everybody. We can't go anywhere without running into 5 people she knows. We spend hours in Walmart because of the conversations.
I am not so outgoing on the other hand but I want to be more outgoing like her. I literally have no guy friends other than coworkers. I had a few female friends but they were very touchy feely and told me they loved me and stuff and my girlfriend didn't like that...so now I have no friends. She is boy crazy and she enjoys the attention she gets from men. we cant go anywhere without her pointing out some "hot" guy. I really feel as if she is out of my league. She is beautiful and I do not feel that I look good enough for her. She wants me to get counseling and she says she can't be with me if I don't get some help.
Am I crazy? Do I need help? Should I rethink my relationship? Is she the crazy one? Please help me! I feel as if I am going crazy and I don't know how much more I can take...