I am sorry you are not well and have to start life as RA. I am not sure about dreams, although been on Plaquenil for a while.
This drug is not the worse one when it comes to possible side effects. Try biologics. My RA DR told me that I have to choose either to live life without treatments and die from RA complications or to live dissent life quality if drugs work.
I lived life for many years without treatments b/c of doctors who couldn't diagnose my RA and ended up with " RA lung and RA heart", not to mention every possible joint/muscle/cartridge, etc is damaged. So of course I close my eyes to side effects, survived severe, life threatening reaction to Rituxan, and still continue life on biologics. So far I don't get any relieve but hope is still there. I try not to read about side effects and put all my trust in my wonderful RA DR who knows her stuff. I read that people with mild RA may live many years happily without getting any treatments since not every RA is aggressive.
But in my case RA is aggressive and advanced so I have no choice.
If this is your concern, talk to your DR and explain what bothers you. Ask what will happen if I refuse the treatment, ask how bad your RA and what blood work showed. I do know a lady with RA who lives many-many years with it without treatments and she is OK. I guess every case is different. I am on treatments for many years and have a lot more pain and damages than this lady without treamtents.
Wishing you well