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Old 03-09-2013, 05:04 PM   #1
dutchgalT dutchgalT is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Spokane, WA
Posts: 4
dutchgalT HB User
Change in Meds/Pain unbearable

I've never posted here or anywhere for that matter before, but I'm lost, feel hopeless, and am hurting like hell. Four yrs ago a doctor injected my neck and shoulder with Botox for spasms. He went too deep and injected into my lung and caused a collapse. The pain wrapped around my chest and of course my breathe was difficult to catch. I had no idea what.was happening.
After 5 days in the hospital the partial neumothorax improved, and slowly the chest pain began improving.,However about a week after my release an horribe sharp pain hit me in the center of my chest. I thought something bad was happening again. That center of chest pain has rarely left me since. I've had so many tests. So many. Many injections, many steroids, tens unit, one year at a PM doc, 5 or 6 at another 300 miles away.
As far as meds the progression led to to 2-40mg of an sr and 2-30mg of an er. Finally I could funtion and wasn't living thinking what was the point if it was going to be this. Before it was to the realization that.every day would be filled with pain and nobody can help you. The hopeless place.
Well, I'm way back there now. Worse than ever. I went to get my script and my doctor of 20yrs was gone, and thete was no prescription. The other docs wouldn't write one without an apt. Next apt wasn't for 2wks. I made the apt anyway. Suffered for 3days and ended at the er. The doctor there felt horrible. She said it should've been handled better and she knew I'd been on it for along time and had a pain contract. She took care of it until i had the apt.
I went 3 days ago. He tells me i have to choose. That WA law says i cant be over blah blah and choose. Choose between your left arm or your right arm. Which works better?
Ya know, I've never failed a test, which ive taken 3 of in 6wks...really? Wow. I gotta pay for these. I've never asked for my meds early....I pickup 29 or 30 days. I've never played games. Nothing. I'm trying to survive. I'm so angry that people that don't have pain, that you see on tv selling, stealing, whatever have made doctors afraid to treat their patients.
I got so desperate that I allowed them to cut 3in off the bottom of my sternum. On the chance it might work. Now I'm sitting here crying on and off in pain, afraid, my doctor is gone for idk another month. I had to choose and now he gave me 2-40 immediate release is so not good. 16hrs out of the day are so rough and I don't know what to do. My husband doesnt understand. Leaves you feeling really alone and going places in your head you shouldn't. I don't know what I'm asking, i have no idea what to do. I don't feeling like this. I really miss who i used be and i forget what it was like not to hurt.

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: dutchgalT
kittkat (03-09-2013), Qtpye78 (04-17-2013)