Re: Pls help. Im a sister of a TIA survivor who is 36 years old
Hello Karen, and we are so glad you have found us. Welcome, you are in a good place.
My first thought is that you need to forgive yourself for anything you did or did not do. Strokes can happen is seconds, and there is no one who can anticipate such an event. The fact that you knew he needed emergency treatment is very important, and he was in for care asap. There is nothing more anyone could do in the same situation. Your care likely saved him from a worse outcome, and he is so lucky to have you to take care of him. Even if he cannot express his gratitude for all you do. all of us here certainly. We have such a soft spot for those who answer that call, especially with the sacrifices and huge responsibility it lays on your shoulders. The fact that you are also footing the bill is even worse. I do think you should check into any programs that might help you with that.
While 36 is young for stroke, the ages of stroke survivors has lowered drastically in recent years. We have seen folks here that are very young, and I myself was quite young at 43 having 4 strokes. I would be very vigilant with keeping his blood pressure in control. That was the cause of my strokes, malignant high blood pressure. That one little pill a day can save so many of us from future strokes. Considering his special needs, 36 years old is not too young for stroke.
What is his function like these days? What has the TIA left him with physically and mentally? How long ago did this TIA occur? I cannot imagine what it would be like to try and guess when he is not able to express himself easily. I imagine you two have come up with your own way to communicate that would be amazing to anyone watching,
I really hope you can find the right programs that will help you with the expense of his medical care. While I do not know your healthcare system, i would expect there to be some assistance for those in your brother and yourself, when his medical expenses are equal to a weeks pay for you. Of course he needs to have access to proper medical care, but not at the expense of your financial needs. What if he did not have you? How would he get by as a special needs individual? i would start looking right away by calling the agencies you know that have cared for him before. Our resources are listed in our phone book, in the social services area.
I really hope you can change your thoughts about you being responsible for his TIA. it is simply not true, and is way too much for you to bear. Let yourself release that thought from your mind and heart. Those thoughts are enough to drag your mind down, when you need it most. You are instead a very loving and caring sister. Keep good thoughts in the front of your mind as you go forward. A positive attitude is the greatest tool to have in your pouch when fighting against your own minds demons. At each turn you must learn to see them as a challenge that you can overcome, not enough to rock your boat in the least. The more times you can prove yourself to be able to face any situation calmly and with no fear, the better off you will be. Living with stroke is not easy for anyone, but it is possible where there is hope with positive thinking.
We are here to help, and are happy to share whatever knowledge we have as stroke survivors. Please come back with any news...