hey everyone, I have a situation it's kinda long...but bare with me
I'm 22 years old, and I come from a muslim background, with parents that absolutely forbid premarital sex
(to a point where they'll kill for their honor). Being raised in a Western country, when I was 19, I did have premarital sex. Lately, I've been reflecting on how would they react if they ever find out I'm no longer a virgin, and if it's possible for them to. I'm afraid that the man whom I'll marry, who MUST also be Muslim, (otherwise they'll disown me), will find out that I'm not a virgin, and I'm really worried that eventually the news will get to my parents (there is no way I'm telling a muslim man that I'm not a virgin). I honestly came to the point where I was thinking of withdrawing blood from my body the night I get married and place it in a small plastic bag, and when we have sex, to just pop the bag as if he'd broken my hymen, but I have a feeling that he can tell when a hymen breaks. Hopefully I can convince him its thin enough to not be felt..and fake a few painful moans.. What do you all think of my situation?? Do you think it's at all possible to find a Muslim man who is as westernized as I am??
My second situation is this, I'm dating a non-muslim spanish guy for 8 months now, and I'm falling head-over heels for him, and I KNOW for a fact that my parents will NEVER approve of him, has anyone experienced a situation like this and had good outcome? or known someone that has?? I really need some words of wisdom right now...I just feel really really sad about what I've gotten myself into, and I can't take it back...