I'm sorry you have to go through this. I have heard from many that marriages can be rough after a diagnosis of autism. My husband and I went for group counciling (there where about 5 other couples in the group that had an autistic child) after our son was diagnosed and therapy was the best thing for our marriage. After our son was first diagnosed, I went out and bought lots of books and researched everything I could find to help our son....and my husband shut down and slepted alot, and was getting very frustrated because our son wouldn't talk and he stimmed out a lot....it was really hard on him. Anyway, with counciling, the therapist told him that we need to be a team and that our son needs both of us to help him and that we need a healthy marriage too by going out on a date once a week with the two of us just to unwind and not mention the word autism. It was so hard the first year, but are marriage is much stronger now. I think you really need to go to counciling together so you can express your feelings to each other and with the therapist there, he can help your husband get out of denial so he can be there for his family. I think it would be good to buy some books on biomedical treatments for autism too so your husband is aware that these kids can improve drastically...that could be a big fear for him and he just doesn't want to be around now because he feels like he lost control because he is not familure yet with all the internal problems these kids have....I know that was one of my fears...that I can not help my son and I felt like a failure. Men cope very differently then woman when things do not go right. Anyway, with time and help from a therapist, he should come around.