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Old 04-12-2004, 12:20 PM   #4
Foxbluff Foxbluff is offline
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Re: My son needs help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceB777
He won't move in with us (I have to do this myself, because I am the one who f***ed up!), and he won't see a therapist. I can't even get him to go to AA meetings.
Wow! This one is heavy! Alice, I read your post yesterday and felt as helpless as you do. I didn't know what to say to you then and hoped that "sleeping on it" would bring some advise to mind. I'm sorry to say that it didn't.

Upon reading your post it struck me that he had been hit with a huge dose of "survivor guilt". A double dose, as he survived the NY hit AND the DC hit! If his company didn't provide its workers w/psycological support system (can't think what it's called) following 9/11, then I think they should have! And your son's refusal to accept any help with the posture of "I have to do this myself, because I am the one who ********** up" sounds a little like he's still punishing himself for surviving! The good news though, is that he has been able to remain sober during the last (16) months. That shows a great deal of strength.

I still don't have any good advise and, of course, don't know how much you have already tried. Are you in NY? Could you find out from companies in the vicinity of 9/11 tragedy what groups, etc. came to the aid of the workers? Are there still ongoing support aids available? Support groups that you could describe your son's problem to in order to get expert advice?

Does your son have good friends from the past that he may have dropped after quiting his job? Someone outside of the family that could maybe drop by to see him?

Does he have an AA sponsor or good friend in that group that could call on him?

Best of luck, and please keep us posted! We're pulling for you and your son! Foxbluff