Was I abused...??? - Abuse Support Message Board

Hedgehog No 1 · 08-21-2005, 05:06 AM

NOTE TO MODERATOR ~ please move if posted on the incorrect board.

I am currently undergoing some VERY extensive psychotherapy.

This is due to my long running mental health problems.

These are due to a considerable amount of physical, mental, emotional and financial problems which have accumulated over the last forty years.

ONE question keeps coming back ~ Was I abused as a child?

It would explain a VERY large part of my current presentation of my problems.

My current dilema is if I should consider some form of regression?

Although my decision to continue with my therapy has been a joint decision between My Psychotherapist ~ My Psychiatrist ~ My Wife AND myself, I am undecided as to taking this potentially fatal decision.

I am already having recuring suicidal feelings due to my reaction to the therapy. (nothing by way of action ~ only thoughts and feelings).

My therapy has opened a 'pandora's box' of emotions ~ mostly anger.

My MAJOR concern has always been for that of my Wife and our kids.

Advice, comments, suggestions welcome on the following,

IF you were abused (at least physically, possibly sexually)
How do you/did you find out?
How did you deal with it?
How has it changed you?
How has it changed your relationships?

Have you considered any form of regression?
How did it effect you?

Thanks ~ Hedge.

Ruth6:11 · 08-21-2005, 09:42 AM

I was abused emotionally, mentally & sexually for three years..
I was 19 when it started and as naive as a 7 yr old.
I dealt very poorly with it to be honest. I was in denial, I was an enabler, I pushed it to the back of my mind.
It has changed me - forever. I am frigid, I cannot stand the smell of alcohol on anyone's breath & avoid places like bars & bonfires. I have a phobia about being "cornered" even if accidentally.
It has changed all my relationships. I am too passive. Men got upset because they can't "please" me. My marriage works because good ol' Mr. Ruth also has a low libido (Thank God for matches made in heaven!)

I was old enough that I can remember it if I push it up in my memory. I am sure that I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to some degree. If I even suspected that I had been abused in my childhood I would probably strongly consider the regression. The suicidal thoughts would be there BECAUSE the memories were submerged - just not deep enough anymore. If the memories are brought out it would be rough for awhile until it's all sorted out -
but at least you would KNOW what you are - or are not - dealing with.

I know this really didn't address the concept of buried memories that you are asking about. But abuse is so much more common than you know because people don't talk about it. Thought you'd like to know there's someone else standing shoulder to shoulder with you on this one.

Ruth

Hedgehog No 1 · 08-21-2005, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruth6:11

If the memories are brought out it would be rough for awhile until it's all sorted out - but at least you would KNOW what you are - or are not - dealing with.

Ruth

That's EXACTLY where I (or collectively, we the family) are at.

Oh, believe me, it IS rough, i'm currently, (barely) existing in my own personal living nightmare.
I know perseverence is the right thing to do in the long term.
But it's finding the strength to keep going from one visit to the next.
If I'm honest, which I am, I'm not even close to coping with the therapy. Especially now.

What would life be like if I discover my past is even worse...???

Thanks for being here Ruth.

Hedge ~ (42 and a mess)

Bin_man · 08-21-2005, 06:10 PM

I'd say continue with the therapy, but if you're not sure that you've been abused drop the idea - the memories will come back on their own if they're there.

Anger, and a whole host of other emotions, are totally natural to be experienced during and because of intensive therapy, irrepspective of whether or not you've been abused. Very often people have feelings that they'v unconsciously repressed themselves, and which seem frightening when they return. Others feel angry at themselves for their illnesses. Don't worry about it.

I'm no expert, but I don't think you should be frightnened of the therapy.

Ruth6:11 · 08-22-2005, 04:40 PM

Don't thank me for being here Hedge.
The truth is that sometimes I have nowhere else to go. This place not only helps me with my problems but it helps me feel better if I may even remotely help someone.

Please re-think fearing discovering that your past is worse.
The past is who we are. If you are not happy now (and it sure sounds like life has become pretty unbearable) the odds are good that the only thing that revising your past can do it make it better today. At least more understandable.
It's hell to know that something is wrong and NOT know what the hell it is.
I had that until I was 30. Finally found out I had Bipolar Disorder. No one was more thrilled to have a Mental Illness than me!!!

Hang in there - I'm here (my other home) if you decide to do the regression and if you choose not to. I do understand that it sounds scary. But it might actually be like putting the jigsaw puzzle pieces in and having them FIT for a change.
Ruth