I'd just like to know whether I should get involved with this situation, or is it none of my business. My girlfriend's sister, in a nutshell, is a tramp and unfit mother. She puts low-life men before her 4 kids. I know she has self-esteem issues because she needs to have a man and she always ends up with the worst ones. To be honest, I think she's a little crazy. The man that she moved in for about a half year now is abusing her two youngest kids (boys). The boys always come over by their grandmother's house with scratches on their faces, and one brother tells when the other one has gotten hit by the man. These kids are only 2 and 4! The mother knows what's going on, but, she has been reluctant to take action. When confronted by her mother about the situation, she had the audacity to blow up at her and curse her out!! I've never seen a child talk to his/her mother like that before, and I've seen bad. Her comback against her mother's accusations were that she made the guy cut his nails, so it won't happen again... IT'S THROUGH!! What the hell????????? I'm thinking drugs are involved for someone to do this (the guy does sell them). They're not my kids, but I'm ****** that a mother could be so stupid, especially when it comes to her own kids. I think that people are talking about taking action, but it's not coming fast enough. Things will only get worse. The guy is a basket case himself. He has already killed the dog (they thought they could hide it until everyone saw the report that the dog died from trauma to the head). The abuse to the kids is now on a daily basis. These kids need to be with a mother that is mature, and quite honestly, has common sense. I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years now, so I'm kind of close to the family. Would you get involved with this or stay out of it.
Absolutely I would get involved. Not directly (as in confronting the man or woman myself), but I'd most certainly make a call to the authorities to get this investigated pronto before the children end up like the dog.
I'd need to be 100 percent sure, tho. It sounds like you are sure that this woman is neglecting her children and allowing them to be abused. There's no way I could live with myself for not doing anything. Calls like this can be made discretely and anonomously, but you must be sure.
As her boyfriend, can't you convince her that her family needs to do more to protect her neices/nephews? How about the mother -- doesn't she want to do more to protect her grandchildren? It sounds like just talking to the sister about this isn't enough. I think you should first go to your girlfriend and get HER to take the action, because this is her sister and her family. If it were me, I know I'd want to do something. At least I'd want to be around the kids every day to make sure they are OK. It can be very hard to tell a family member what to do, however.
I also think it sounds like drugs are involved. What type of drugs are we talking about -- is it meth? That's just such a common drug nowadays and it is a horrible drug and it definately causes so many of the problems you describe, including violent behavior. And you don't just sell meth - if you have access to it, you're going to do it too. If this is the case, you need to communicate to your girlfriend's family the seriousness of the situation, because it is quite serious.
If these tactics don't work, then you certainly can file an annonymous report.
Of course, if you make a big deal of this first, and then are denied any action by your girlfriend or her mother, then they may suspect that it'd be you who filed the report. In that case, you may just want to do the annonymous report first.
Thanks for the replies. The problem with the situation is that both my girlfriend and mother are very passive. They take a 'wait and see what happens' attitude about things. The reason that the mother of the kids blew up on their mother is for this reason. I don't know exactly what type of drugs the guy sells, but that's a good point that you brought up about either or both of them being on them. I'm trying to convince my girlfriend of the seriousness of this. I think that she and her mother are hesitant partially because it is dealing with family, but it seems like they're catching on.
I would get involved in that situation so fast it'd make her head spin. These are innocent kids you're talking about, 2 & 4 - they're practically babies! I think you should say nothing more to your girlfriend, instead I'd just pick up the phone and make an anonymous call detailing the whole lot, drug dealing and all. You need to get those kids out of that house and his arse in prison -where it belongs.
The Following User Says Thank You to Laylah For This Useful Post: tandycipps (02-03-2011)
I'd be on the phone with Child Protective Services like yesterday!! What are you waiting for? Those kids need your help. If you do nothing, you're allowing it to happen. You need to take action and get CPS to take those kids away before they really, really get hurt.
I would get involved ANONOMOUSLY.......key word.....anonomously!
You've already mentioned it to them, they're passive, want to wait and see......and I just have a feeling that if you push the issue with them, things will get ugly and you will be the bad guy. Make a phone call anonomously, and act surprised when all the stuff hits the fan.
Call the state and see what they can do, I believe you can report annonymously....
I think for yourself (I've been in this position before) if you say something at least you tried...those children should NOT be in that type of situation and it will have profound effects on them as they get older...I know people who are very sick emotionally today, because of abuse as children..it has had a profound effect on their lives and I always wonder what their lives would be like today, if someone had helped them.
You are allowing it to continue by not doing something.
I lost a relationship with someone, because of the same type of situation...I miss my friend (it was a family member of hers) but when those children grow up without the abuse and hostility...I know I made the right decision....kids need a chance and sometimes they need a voice...in this instance, that voice is yours.
If it were a simpler problem like the girl was a fit Mother but you didn't always agree with the wayshe raises he children then I might say stay out of it. In this case when you think these kids are being abused I would step in and make a call to social services! If I even saw a stranger in public punching their child I would call. There is no escuse for that kind of abuse!
I just read your thread and I am so glad you are going to do something about it. So many people will sit back and think it is none of there business to say anything. Those kids need a voice and I'm so happy you are going to step up and be that to them. Definately let us know how it goes.