Well,my ex started lying to me about alot of things and i started realising that,so i began avoiding him a bit by getting too involved with my college fests....but in the back of my mind i alwys thought abt him,though i knew he ws using me all the time. I couldnt give him time etc.......n one day he calls me up saying he's off to the states for higher education and pleaded me to meet him. I ws emotional enough to go to his place for "the one last time"...and there my ordeal began.......he forced me to sleep with him....since i resisted he cdnt hav sex with me,bt i ws lying bruised n sexually assaulted,verbally abused,clicked sum nude pics of mine.......above all this he made me feel gulity fr things i havnt done.....though i made it quite an issue over at his place in front of his parents,i got my pics deleted frm his cell phone a few days later,kinda got back at him......bt still dis entire issue plays around in my head...i know im to blame fr sum things n so its happened to me...n nw im unable to concentrate in anything........i even have started feelin suicidal.pls help!
The following user gives a hug of support to Akkanksha:
Honestly, you must not do anything foolish to yourself just because of this man. Do you have a family or friends you can talk to? Avoid being and staying alone for a long time. Try to do things that can give you pleasure, perhaps going to the movies. I know it is hard, but you must not give up. Don't fall again for this man. Try to think on what you have to do to become a better person, and do it. This is not the end of the world. You will get over it.
well i have spoken about this to some of my close frnds,but not yet to my family.......i cant pick up the courage to do so. i dont intend to EVER fall for this guy in my life.....its jst dat there is alot of anger n hurt inside me and i have no channel to pour it out.....my fnrds know evrythng except about the sexual abuse,i have witheld it frm them,i dunno why! im trying to get back to my studies n started to hang out with frnds,bt its not possible all time isnt it?its at these times dat i really feel lonely n depressed.my confidence is shattered.....im trying real hard to come out of this......above all,im unable to trust anybody.
Sorry to be blunt, but your ex sounds like bad news. You both made mistakes--yours letting him treat you so badly and he sounds like a self-centered control freak. First off, forgive yourself for your mistakes. Second, learn from them and promise to be kinder to yourself in the future. There are plenty of decent people out there to have as friends or bf's. Talk your anger out with someone you trust that will be sympathetic and supportive. Exercise to get rid of your anger. Take things slowly a day at a time, one step forward at a time and don't rush into another relationship.
first of all,thank u so much for taking out time and replying to me
im tryin real hard to control my anger and frustration at being unable to do nythng abt dis situation......n yes u said it rite dat he is a self centerd control freak.....n i hve lately realised dat he isnt evn guilty abt wateva he's done to me.....it was all jst a fun time for him to see me suffer like this.
n rite nw im hoping against all odds that he doesnt evn by chance have any back ups of the pics that he may misuse
n so im really helpless and dat makes me feel worse.
i cant approach my family regarding this.
Ugh! He has private photos of you. That's a tough one. My first husband did that, but when we separated, I saw that he burned them in the tub, much to my relief. Still I wouldn't let him control you anymore. You may have to tell your family about it; better to hear it from you than hear about it from someone else. Maybe, they can help you get back on your feet. Just don't let this abuser back into your life. You deserve better.
No one is worth destroying yourself over--and do not blame yourself so much, we girls will do that--these abusive guys make it a point to belittle you--it is more about control than anything--go on with your life and be very glad that he is out of the picture. He did not get what he wanted, right? Hence, look at how childish his behavior was--forget him, which is easier said than done--just take it one day at a time and do not give out those mixed messages
Believe it or not you being angry and hurt is a turning point. Sometimes we have to get to that point in order to get STRONG enough to move on. You could be in denial like some women and continue to put up with this guy, but you realize that you don't have to have to put up with him anymore. And you don't have to talk to your family about it if you don't want to. I don't tell my family a lot of my personal business. I do however have a couple of very very close friends that I can pour my heart out to. And it's a good thing that we have boards like this to come to for advice and help. So you are on the right track. Now you just need to heal which takes time. Just never ever feel that you ever have to give up. There are so many more beautiful things to engage in. Find a new hobby, take a dance lesson or two. Read a good book or watch a movie. Shopping is one of my favorites. Travel if you can afford to. See there is so much to live for. You don't always have to depend on a man to be happy. Be happy loving you.
If you need to talk, we are here for you! Please keep us posted! Hugs
thank u soooo much fr replyn to me
im really thankful i came across dis site...its been so relieving to jst pour out wat ur feeling widout being judged or made to feel guilty abt.
i really feel like talking abt it fr as long as i cn jst remove it out of me.....such things neva happened in my peer group,jst heard of or read abt dem,n wen it happens to u,u feel its so real,IT CAN HAPPEN 2U. i know i CANT talk to my parents abt dis nw,maybe wen im f9,i may.....i neva bothered thm wid my probs,it feels selfish on my side. i really sumtimes do feel guilty abt things like i shdnt have gone etc.,bt i really cnt help it.
yeah,he cdnt have wat he wntd ,fr that im thankful to myself,i cud get myself out of it bt not without havin an emotional scar dats gonna haunt me for long,im tryin to keep myself pre occupied.i hate to evn think abt him......and abt d pics,i got it deleted frm his cell phone a few days aftr d incident,chkd his lappie n all,bt dunno if he had back ups......so dat worries me somwhr....otherwise,evn i REALLY wnt to get back on track with my carrer n regain my confidence n self respect.......i dunno hw long its gonna take,bt im TRYING. tryin to stay away frm negative ppl or depressing stuffs....