Since I have gone on disability and we now have a lot less money, my husband has started to put me down regarding my weight and other physical stuff. Calls me the B word frequently, says dirty words in Arabic, yells at me in a very loud and scary voice. Is this emotional/verbal abuse?
Last edited by TestyTess; 10-30-2010 at 04:51 PM.
The following 4 users give hugs of support to: TestyTess booboolaz (01-28-2011), ninamarc (03-21-2011), Wingspan (01-16-2011), wwwgirl (11-28-2010)
Since I have gone on disability and we now have a lot less money, my husband has started to put me down regarding my weight and other physical stuff. Calls me the B word frequently, says dirty words in Arabic, yells at me in a very loud and scary voice. Is this emotional/verbal abuse?
What he is doing is not accepting you for being a woman. We as woman have our ups and downs and gain weight on a button. If he thinks you are to be perfect then he has the problem and is very imature. I suggest he gets anger management. Believe me it is not easy to tell him this so I suggest you have someone who is close to you tell him before things get worse.
Emotional abuse is definitely real! If you are questioning it's reality in YOUR life, then it's probably a question that you already have the answer to. Listen to your inner voice. NO ONE has the right to make you feel afraid, intimidated or ridiculed. I understand that stress can cause frustration, but it's exactly these times that can bring out the worst in us. The key is that it is still "in us." Somehow you need to get some help so that your spouse can learn to better manage his frustrations and anger. Good Luck!
The Following User Says Thank You to klyn711 For This Useful Post: TestyTess (11-03-2010)
The worst part is out brings out my anger-or my retaliation responses which is stressful and depressing. I have to fight back with all I have when I am called b----- and fat and c...Thanks for your kindness,Theresa
Yes, emotional, mental abuse is real. Try not to internalize the words that he calls you. If you know who you are then he can not touch you! When he begins his verbal assaults turn around and walk away. Let him know that you can not and will not tolerate his abuse. Just because you have gone on disability does not make you less of a person or a woman. Perhaps something is being triggered in him and he is treating you as his mother was treated without even realizing it? If you have children you especially can not allow this behavior to continue. He must gain a new respect for you. Sincerely, searchin
Emotional abuse is very real, and unacceptable, and it really doesn't help you to get better being on disability. In fact it can make recovery or treatment of your health issue so much harder and possibly add to it, you are at a point in your life where you need support more than ever. Financial hardship puts a lot of pressure on any relationship and it sounds to me like he's taking his anger, frustration and stress out on you by demeaning you. I hope there is some way you can both sit down together and discuss this, listen to each other's worries, if not possibly see your doctor for a referral to a therapist where you can both sit with an impartial ear to listen and help you both find your way through this. It sounds as though he doesn't understand what you are feeling and yes it definitely can make you feel angry too and lead to worsening abuse, so is best to see to it now and not lose control of your family's communication levels. I know by experience being off work due to illness/injury can really make it hard on a family.
Stand tall and I wish you the best on your recovery.
Since I have gone on disability and we now have a lot less money, my husband has started to put me down regarding my weight and other physical stuff. Calls me the B word frequently, says dirty words in Arabic, yells at me in a very loud and scary voice. Is this emotional/verbal abuse?
Hello TestyTess. Unfortunately this man is definitely an abuser. You need to find some immediate help before something much more serious happens. I do not intend to make you feel worse or anything but this is a serious situation. You are NOT at fault for his sickening behavior.
If I were you, I would get to a shelter that helps people like you such as "The Shelter for Abused Women and Children". They can help you with just about anything that you need help with, including health care, shelter, and other needs.
Abuse is rampant in my family so I do know a little about this stuff. Thankfully, there is hope and healing.
If need be, call 911. I would not hesitate to do so if you feel that you are in danger.
Finally, I am pulling for you as I am sure many others around here are as well.
If you feel threatened by his words and know you are going to "get into it" with him, why not just walk away to let him know - it aint' gonna happen. I have done this with my husband and he ends up coming to the back after a while and apologizes. Not saying you will get an apology, but it will give him quiet time to think about what he's doing.
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If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.
Yes, that is verbal abuse. The hardest kind to deal with. Get good counselor for yourself and get back the self-esteem that has been taken from you. You are valuable!!!!!!!
Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes again.. this emotional abuse in its truest form..this type of initial abuse can lead to bigger things like Physical abuse,,emotional abuse is the pre-cursor to finding out if the abuser can get away with this and if he does it will evolve..to htting,slapping,punching,beating,bruisin g,not only physical pain (that will heal) believe me the emotional scars last forever and will return time and time again he will strip you of all of your dignity..if you let him..resist now before it gets out of control..
Lot Of Luck
booboolaz
The following user gives a hug of support to booboolaz: celeste76 (01-30-2011)
What is Emotional Abuse-is it real? 
