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Old 01-28-2011, 07:04 AM   #1
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opehelia2010 HB User
Question Abuse

I spent...(wasted) 27 years of my life with a socio-path. I'm an educated person with a Masters degree. Now you ask, why did you stay?

I had a previous marriage which ended in divorce. My father told me I should have tried harder. So with those words echoing in my head, I tried....hard. I always thought that with age he would change (not) Finally as I approched the "Golden Years" I realized that I deserved better and divorced. My advice........run, don't walk to the nearest counselor for yourself and realize that you are a valuable person with the right of a safe, healthy and loving relationship. I know, they sap the self esteem out of you, but girl, you are stronger than you think!!! Marrying the guy won't change him. You go girl!!

 
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:35 PM   #2
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jennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB User
Re: Abuse

Everyone who stays, stays for a variety of reasons and none of them are easy to explain. None of us should judge. We should just support.

I'm glad you got out and are living the life you wanted to. You go girl! Congrats!

gentle hugs.................Jenny

 
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Old 03-07-2011, 08:04 AM   #3
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aalwood HB User
Re: Abuse

Amen! I survived a marriage of 8 years that was severely abusive! I stayed out of fear/ and loyalty. (besides the fact my family disowned me when I married him). I prayed he would change, and of course you and I know, it didn't happen! I too am educated and yet it happens to ANYONE! It does not matter your status/ education or race.
I agree... RUN.. don't walk! Hold your head up high.. don't think of it was "wasted life". I agree I wish I had met my husband NOW back then, but God had His way of making plans.

 
Old 03-08-2011, 06:27 AM   #4
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Location: Scott Township, Pa
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opehelia2010 HB User
Re: Abuse

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! As you know, it's very hard after so many years to forget. But I'm doing a lot better. I was very "ouchy" in the beginning of my new marriage, but every day gets easier. Thank you once again. The best to you my friend

 
Old 03-08-2011, 10:25 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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aalwood HB User
Wink Re: Abuse

I will tell you this! We can "forgive" but we will never forget. I still have nightmares to this day of him coming back and killing me! It is a daily struggle to NOT think about it.

I too was very defensive when I first married my current husband. Things are not perfect even yet, and he says I have "anger" issues but he works with me through it all! He is a wonderful man!

I pray your husband supports and understands what you have been through! It's tough to make someone understand, but if he loves you, he WILL listen and learn to help you build your lives with this.

God Bless,
Alexis

 
Old 03-26-2011, 05:11 PM   #6
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Location: cameron nc
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jakes1mom HB Userjakes1mom HB User
Re: Abuse

i have not gotten to that point yet, forgiving and i will never forget. does all that hate i have built up in me for him ever go away? i cant bring myself to even say his name.

i am emotionally scared from what he done to me for those 11 yrs. And you know what, his mom actually took up for him when he would beat me. I came to realize that after years of this ,that she would look like a bad mother if she had a son who was abusive to his wife. She always blamed me for everything. If he went to jail for hitting me, guess what? my fault. had to be something that i did to have caused him to go to jail.

I later found out that my ex husband family was inbreed. His mom and dad were cousins, and all of his dads brothers had married there cousins. it was alot of sexual misconduct in this family. i felt so stupid not finding this out until years later. And then came the accusations of child molestation of a lil girl he had with a previous gf that he also had beat.

I left him, and the accusations continued with other children in the family. He was finally charged with sexual battery. im glad to be away from him. i will never let myself get into that again.

 
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