Your father is a creep. How terrible that any child has that as a truth! But the first step of recovery (as if there is any one step, there isn't) is to realize that someone else's actions are their own and it says NOTHING about YOU, or your value or worth. Gosh, KUDOS to your mom. And KUDOS to YOU!
Of course you are angry, but turn those feelings toward the abuser. Anger is not hate. But it's a real, honest emotion. We can love someone and still hate what they did. It's important to hate evil behavior, in my opinion. You can learn some ways to get the anger out that are not destructive. My therapist told me to get a pile of newspapers and tear them, and say "I am so mad." So I went through the motions a few times, but all of a sudden i was ripping the paper to shreds, screaming and crying and cussing my perp out. Then that blast of emotion died away. I learned that I can get it out, and that it doesn't last forever. This taught me that emotions make us sick when we hold them inside and don't express them. Emotions need to be expressed so we can relax. I also have written many letters. My nasty perps are not alive, but writing them letters, and doing things like ceremonially shredding the letters in the name of throwing away self-blame helped me get my emotions out. There are many other ways to help ourselves heal.
Abusers always try to make their actions all about the other persons, but what they do is really only all about themselves. Abusers are self-centered deceivers and manipulators. It's no one's fault that it happened except your dad's. Don't let your love for your dad confuse you abut hating what he did. He didn't have to do it. He made the choice. I know you must feel helpless. Well that's what children are. Helpless. You were supposed to be protected, but your dad lied to himself and told himself what he felt like doing was OK because he didn't owe you protection and respect. He is a liar, pure and simple.
Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself the truth. "My dad's behavior is vile and I did nothing to deserve what he did". Eventually, you will be able to see yourself separate from him. You are not like him for hating his behavior. You needed him, and he threw you away like trash. That was a horrible offense against an innocent child. Of course you wanted your dad's attention. But he chose to pervert that innocent child's needs.
I think you are very brave and smart. You have a lot of emotional muck to wade through like many of us, but take your time, you are getting through!