some backstory: verbally abused all my life by my grandmother who is now dead, was in a very deep depression up until about a year after she died then i slowly got better (age 18 or 19?), physically abused by men in my life... ect ect blah blah blah. im 25 now, happy for the most part.
so basicly all of my childhood is completely missing, i have a few memories here and there, even as i get older (like in highschool) large chunks of time are just gone, people will talk to me about things that happened in the past and i will have NO CLUE what they are talking about. its frustrating and ive seen people say theyve recovered their memories on here, but what im wondering is how?
No I am not seeing a therapist, and I don't think I have access TO one. I live in a very small town, there's councilors that work for mental health, but no offense to them, they just don't help. All they wanna do is talk about gossip and make jokes, I'm sorry but I have friends for socializing... It's just a waste of my time. I currently am on medication and I don't see why anyone would put me on more... I've thought about this for a very long time and came here for help, I've gotten alot stronger mentally over the years and I believe I'm ready for this. I'm prepared for the worst and willing to accept whatever I find. It would be great if a therapist could help me through this but the closest one is a 2 hour drive away, and I'm just not willing to make a 4 hr trip every week. I don't have the time or the money. So if that's the only way, I guess I just have to live my life not knowing half of it.
The following user gives a hug of support to angelik_pistol: Phoenix (07-14-2011)
It would be great if a therapist could help me through this but the closest one is a 2 hour drive away, and I'm just not willing to make a 4 hr trip every week.
Have you inquired as to whether or not this particular therapist may be willing to conduct phone sessions? Many do.
The reason why I suggested the possibility of being prescribed meds is that the current ones you are currently taking may not be potent enough to manage the additional stressors that may present themselves when you begin to recall memories...it may not even be warranted but is worth noting.
get a journal or type it up on your computer, start with a time line. work your way up to actual stories. it takes a long time to recover all of this but after awhile of writing stories it gets easier. keep in mind your mind might make up stuff that you think happened but didn't.
It is very likely that you are in deep trance-state.
I was badly physically abused,and did not start to awaken until
the year 2000. Jesus,all those years I thought was here,I was
only PART here! The technical name for this is"Dissociation".
Since the child can't run away or get help,it does the only thing
possible-it goes away in his/her mind,because what is happening
is too much to bear. If you can,get any books by John Bradshaw,
he calls it "MYSTIFICATION". Christ, mystified is the word.
Try and get a therapist who has worked with this condition,or
at least knows about it. It can be done on your own as I did,
I heard the phrase "Adult-Child" and it was this that set me
wondering and looking for who the hell I really was.