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Old 03-21-2012, 05:09 PM   #1
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Past and Present Meet

New to this forum and I was wondering why I am having thoughts of sexual abuse from when I was ten yrs old, and why now. I am just looking for ideas.

I was abducted by a stranger and sexually abused on an old school bus at the age of 10. Years went by and I got a job driving a school bus. I had no memory of the first event. 3 years ago, because of some problems, I sought therapy and while discussing things, this abuse came out, and the therapist associated it to my current job choice. I had never thought about the abuse at all. And had never put 2 and 2 together.

Last year I got hurt on my bus. And because of the lies and deceit of my company, I not only lost my job but lost any chance for workmans comp.

Now I am having all kinds of sad thoughts and anxiety issues over this. It is like this object (school bus) is escalating my depression.

This sounds so stupid, yet I am feeling this way.. Why?

 
Old 03-26-2012, 10:52 AM   #2
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Hello Arianna2,

I believe it has to do with the physical pain of the accident triggering your PTSD symptoms.

All pain is relative,when it comes to dealing with abuse issues of this nature.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-30-2012 at 05:29 AM.

 
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Old 03-26-2012, 06:47 PM   #3
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Thanks for responding Phoenix, It seems everything is interrelated and building upon each other right now. It isnt a good time and I am having a really hard time channeling
and processing everything.

Thanks again

 
Old 03-26-2012, 08:21 PM   #4
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Arianna2,

Things get real,then serious and then really serious but if you give yourself enough time,it will become an afterthought;not today or tomorrow but somewhere down the line.
You've got to hang in there....
Anything I can do to help weather your storm,know that i'm here.....alright?

Sincere respect
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Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-30-2012 at 05:29 AM.

 
Old 04-07-2012, 02:18 PM   #5
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Please don;t think anything that you have to say is stupid in anyway. It is coming out now becasue it has too. WHen you mind and body know you are ready to handle tought emotions your mind will presnt them to you...you are tough and mature enough to handle this know and you body and brain knows that...You are beautiful and smart and ready to handle this situation!!

 
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:28 AM   #6
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Thanks dsmith30 for your encouragement. It is funny how others seem to think I am so strong and I feel like such a weenie about it all. With everything going on with me, I guess I am just not thinking straight. Anyway, thanks for your post.

 
Old 04-10-2012, 03:53 AM   #7
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
Thanks dsmith30 for your encouragement. It is funny how others seem to think I am so strong and I feel like such a weenie about it all. With everything going on with me, I guess I am just not thinking straight. Anyway, thanks for your post.
Arianna2,

To me, raw strength is instinctual in its' behavior.

You keep on working on yourself because to do so would mean that there is still a healthy percentage of desire in you.

I don't think you're strong;I know it.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-30-2012 at 05:30 AM.

 
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Old 04-10-2012, 07:28 AM   #8
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Phoenix, Your post made me take a look at myself and you are right. I am strong. I just refuse to accept that I can't improve my life. I want that person back that I used to be. I know that I will never be 100%, I am not that naive. But I have to believe that I can be better than now. Thanks for your post.

 
Old 05-25-2012, 10:52 PM   #9
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Arianna2,

We now have been forced to play the percentage game,if you will.
What percentage of us is healthy(positive) versus the unhealthy(negative).

We struggle because we know something's not quite right;what it is exactly sometimes remains a mystery. We can improve our lives;in increments but it takes effort(at least this is what i'm trying to convince myself of).

The "good" days often go unnoticed and the "not so good" seem to be commonplace. Try working through it,my friend.

I try working through things and get so caught up that my therapist has to alert me of the fact. Maybe it's the PTSD or Depression.

There I go;making this about me,when this is clearly your thread;my apologies. Hang in there and know that i'm around,if or when you need me.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-30-2012 at 05:30 AM.

 
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Old 05-26-2012, 03:55 PM   #10
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Re: Past and Present Meet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Pamela,

There I go;making this about me,when this is clearly your thread;my apologies. Hang in there and know that i'm around,if or when you need me.

Respectfully
Phoenix
Oh Phoenix, You didnt make the post about you. You know we share so many commonalities that when you say something about you, I usually always relate. So no apologies needed here, my friend.

I am just getting started with my new therapist, and am in the grieving process right now. Actually a full hour of tears without criticism or censure felt pretty good. I like her, a big step towards healing.

One day at a time... sigh

 
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