First off, I know this is kinda of a stupid question, but honestly, I know there is something wrong, but at the same time, it's like nothing is wrong. I spent middle school sick and just guilty of myself for something that happened when I was 5 or 6. Something really bad. But my mom says I was just young and it was innocent. But over those three years in middle school, the first year as a 6th grader I couldn't sleep at night most of the times and I would get myself mentally sick and life was horrible each day. I unconciously didn't have anyone to talk to so I started talking to myself. And that person in my head began to be more independent, like I don't even have to think about what I would say to myself, it's like another person is in my head. But of course, I know that isn't true, that it's just me. But that voice tells me to hurt myself and others. I talked to my mom about it and she...honestly looking back on it now, she really didn't say anything about it, I just thought it got better. But it didn't. That voice was always there, sometimes being supportive or being a total a downer to me.
In a period of time, I became obssesed?, with my brother. But I suppose that was a faze and it went away. I also told my mom about this and again, it's like she doesn't understand! Sometimes I think that my parents are against me, like they are trying to control me and they don't love me. Also I recently started hitting myself, like slapping myself as punishment and this could be up to 20 or 30 times.
Last edited by Administrator; 04-07-2012 at 02:20 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to Natsumi123 For This Useful Post: matty D (05-30-2012)
I suppose what you are referring to is that generational gap..........Most parents (mine included) weren't raised to deal with issues via a therapist,so their children were left with what I can only call "parental therapy" which includes denial,among other things.
The things that you are referring to are of a serious enough nature,that intervention is warranted,even if your parents don't see it.
I have to agree with Misty 800,please speak with your school counselor,a nurse,the principal or whomever is in authority to provide help for you.
Ok first of all I would like to say thank you. Thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings, you might not think it but that takes courage.
After reading your post I just want to say that I'm here for you. There is nothing wrong with your head at all. Your mind is just over compensating for some of the things that you did not hav, and that is normal.
You say that "sometimes you think your parents are against you and that they do not love you" well my friend..nothing couldbe further from the truth your parents just have a hard time understanding but I'm sure that once you tell them your full story they will give you the love and warmth that you most defiantly deserve. Is your brother older then you? Because if so it's only natural for younger siblings to look up to older ones within the family. If you are older then your brother that just shows that you are generous and kind hearted.
The main thing that has too stop is the hitting. Your body is very important. Are you focusing on any certain area. Hitting yourself is seen as self harm and there are many different things you can do to try to stop. One type of compensating for hitting yourself yould be to get an elastic band and whenever you feel like hitting yourself you slap the elastic band against your wrist. This is known as a stress reliever and is alot safer then injuring your body.
There is nothing wrong with your head. You are not alone, your family will always love you and we will always be here for you. Thank you for being brave and having the courage to post.