My husband sometimes throws things when he gets very angry and then gets into a fit of rage. And I dont mean at big things, but he gets upset when something spills on the table.
Today he completely lost it when something spilled on the lunch table. He then proceeded to pick up a box of cookies from the table and threw them across the room. It scared the crap out of my daughter and also frightened me quite a bit. This is not the first time that my husband has thrown something. This time it was at the wall, another time it was in my direction.
I am afraid after one of these episodes for a while in the fear that this will happen again and I dont know when.
Is this abuse? or just stupidity on how he acts on his part?
I'm no doctor so I'm not sure what you would professional call it, but i would call it dumb childish behavior. but yes this is a problem for sure. i would be thinking a few things. for one what kind of example is he setting for your child??? my concern is you said you and your child were scared that is not acceptable behavior in my opinion. you need to talk to him about this no one should live in fear. this is a red flag to me, you and your child should feel safest in your own home if you are not,as you said, something needs to change. if you have to ask is this abuse then something isn't right. just think if your child goes to school and tells his/her teacher my daddy was throwing things at our house and mommy and me were scared, the teachers would not be calling you 1st, they would be calling protective services and that is no fun. your job as a mother is protect your child are you????? please be careful and safe...sounds like these maybe warning signs...best of luck
This is definitely a problem. Anger problems of this sort, if unchecked, typically have a vast history of escalation. If this isn't dealt with you will almost definitely see the problems get worse long before they get better...and with you and your child in the situation, it would be almost negligent to not at least take him to see someone who might be able to help him. This is not technically "abuse" but is dangerous nonetheless.
I don't see it as stupid behavior nor abuse. I do see it as him needing anger management. Maybe he's bipolar? has he ever been tested?
I understand he isn't hitting you or your kid but please understand that the throwing things, especially in your direction, could escalate and he might actually hit you or your kid one day. I think before it gets to that point, you should seek help. And maybe he needs to talk to someone too. Maybe he's stressed? has there been anything new going on lately? like a change in your lives? a job maybe? anything can trigger enough anger in a person for them to snap and lose control. If he hits you, throws something AT you, or hits your kid, then that's when it becomes abuse. But again, before it escalates, I think you should seek help now.
I just saw this now. My husband is already seeing someone, a psychologist, weekly and yes, I know that it is dangerous and that it could and most probably will get worse before it ever gets better, or if it ever gets better.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: mehappy froglady6g (06-16-2012), Phoenix (06-22-2012)
Have you ever thought about going into therapy yourself?
Sometimes it benefits the spouse to go separately.Call it an independent move.
Know that you are always welcome here and never feel that you will be inconveniencing anyone.
This sounds like my ex-husband. He would have a fit over something stupid and start raging. I couldn't eat cereal in front of him because he would tell me to stop "clinking" the bowl with my spoon. Then the verbal abuse started.Then the thowing of my merchandise started. Please get away from him. It will completely ruin your and you child's self esteem. I should have divorced him 10 years earlier but had medical issues and nowhere to go. Seek counseling for yourself and put together a plan to leave. Best of luck!
My husband is not like this all of the time, not at all. It is maybe once every few weeks when he absolutely looses it.
I dont feel like my life is in danger.
My situation does not seem to be the same as yours, at all.
My self esteem is not ruined.