My husband and I met 7 years ago, married 4 years ago...
I can remember we had been together for less then a year and our cars were both vandalized. We dont know who did it, Yet I was blamed from the beginning for <upsetting> someone at my job. I was lectured so bad I left and went home to my parents house. I came back...
I am sure there were more but I cant remember any others right now. We got married and everything was fine for a while, I cant remember when anything started back up. But heres what goes on:
Im lectured, guilt tripped, im never told I'm beautiful or pretty, my husband gets upset with me if I dont wear makeup (its just not my thing), Im constantly yelled at.
I feel like my only defense is to yell back.
Lately I have been feeling as if there is a huge weight on my chest. Everything hit the fan when my husband found out ive been talking to another guy.. talking, not cheating on him... In our conversation he told me that he thinks he doesnt tell me I am beautiful because he thinks that it will make me think im ok like I am (without makeup). He told me he resents me for the fact that I dont wear makeup. He also told me that he hasnt seen me happy, truely happy in about 6 years.
I have asked him to seek counseling with me but he wont admit to having a problem.
I didnt know what our problem was until I googled "why does my husband lecture me". The answer: he is emotionally abusive
I dont know what to do because I love him and I dont want to hurt him, hes done so incredibly much for me, but Im done, I feel like im suffocation and all I can do is cry. Ive stayed so long because I have no where else to go, no money, no job, no car...
I dont know what I want anymore, im so lost and I dont know what to do. I am pretty sure I want out of this relationship, that may be the only thing I know for cirtain.
You are definitely in a most unfortunate situation.
He provides for you and somehow has turned that into an entitlement of sorts.
As long as he feels this way,your words will continue to carry little weight with him.
Here's the thing though....you don't want to make any rash judgements based on impulse.
If you want to leave because you see no other way,then have a plan of action going forward.
There are women shelters which you can look into,or maybe move in with a relative or good friend for a while.
Your absence may just make him change his tune.
If it doesn't,you need to be prepared for that too.
Whether it would warrant a divorce or separation would be entirely up to you.
In any case you have to hope for the best but prepare for the worse at the same time.
