Subtle Verbal Abuse
After posting my story as "subtle" verbal abuse, I have to confess that at times it was perfectly obvious. A man screaming in your face for no good reason (not that there ever is a good one) is not very subtle.
He only screamed at me a few times, but that was a few times too many. The rest of the time he subtly, or not subtly, tells me I am a bad mother.
My 3 girls are university educated, are good workers, attractive, without drug or eating disorders of any kind. Clear signs of bad mothering, right there.
Naturally, they drove themselves to school every day and planned their own birthday parties, made their own lunches, bought their own Nikes and backpacks, etc., etc. You get the picture.
I feel as though, somehow, I did all the nitty-gritty hard work, but get none of the credit. My husband tells me that he had to "protect" them from me. It seems to me he wasn't worried about "protecting" them when I took them off to the Youth Fair or the beach.
I'm not entirely sure how to handle my relationship with my husband. I understand now that he is a verbal abuser. As such, I now realize that he will go through cycles of attempting to behave better, but will ultimately relapse, and decide he needs to leave.
Actually, he can go, as far as that's concerned, but my girls think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread since he always gives them the money they want.
Where do you draw the line?