I have been horribly abused in a previous relationship. So bad that I suffered P.T.S.D. after I got away. Yesterday my current boyfriend and I got into an awful argument yesterday. We have had them a lot lately. Yesterday he got so mad he shoved me hard. So hard I fell down. He says this is not abuse bc I did not have any black and blue marks nor was I bleeding. He says my ex did way worse to me so I shouldn't complain about being shoved. I say it is abuse either way. Who is right? I want to add that when he is mad he brings up private things I tell him and uses against me and talks horrible to me. I am very clear on the verbal abuse. That he denies as well.
If a man pushed me in anger, I would leave him and wouldn't take it. That is a serious red flag and since you have been in an abusive relationship before you know what you feel and don't allow this boyfriend to make excuses. You need support from good friends and family and please don't excuse this guy's behavior. He may need anger management and you need to be assertive and stand up for yourself. Best wishes.
The following user gives a hug of support to renko:
Yes, it is abuse. If you did it to someone smaller than you, would you consider it abuse? You are not responsible for his actions or words, any more than he is responsible for yours. Are you afraid to leave him?
The following user gives a hug of support to AverageUser:
An old boyfriend did that to me and I didn't think it was abuse at the time because he only pushed me, he hadn't hit me. After I finally left him I looked back and realized that it was definitely abuse! It is hard to see situations for what they really are when we are in them. I hope you see that you don't have to put up with that kind of treatment from anyone.
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