Hi all...
I am new to this board though I'm not new to the health boards or to abuse...
I have many king stories but tonight is about my boyfriend. He is the father of my 2 youngest girls ages 2 years and 7 months... I also have a 7 year old boy from a previous marriage which was very verbally abusive and my young sin unfortunately learned a lot from the way his dad talked to me because he talks to me like that a lot... He is in therapy for this. My boyfriend started out as an amazing guy, so there, so understanding, so together, so loving and supportive... He tricked me! He went from amazing and such a go getter to a lump and lazy! He comes home from work and it is negative all the time. He says "I don't call you names" but I know that names don't need to be called for someone to break you! He will give me and my son the silent treatment, say awful things about my family, and my friends... I went through the "please him" phase of the relationship and cut out everyone and everything he did not like... Well those are relationships I can't get back
how did I get here again? How did I let him trick me? I swore I would never get to this place again and I even told him when we were talking about a relationship that I was verbally and emotionally abused by my husband and he promised I would never have to worry again... I told him my sin would have to be treated as an equal if we had other kids... He swore he would treat him like his own and now he gas given up on him... I will never choose a man over my child, the hard part is that he fathers my other 2 kids... But I don't find it healthy for them to see this either... I have no where to go. I told him tonight we were through, I am unsure if he heard me because he will not allow me to get a word in but I'm done, I cannot allow my son to feel bad everyday and I can't feel bad anymore either! So now I am stuck in a house that is his, no where to go but alone... This is not good and not what I want my children to experience
I am a stay at home mom so I have no income... I feel stuck, trapped... He gave me the whole " nobody likes you not even anyone in your family or my family" and "everyone thinks" I let it get to me for a minute but I am hoping it is just the abuse talking, but I can't help but think of course that everyone dislikes me and I feel truly alone
what do I do? When I left my husband it was easy, I had a job and was independent, now I'm jobless and depend on someone else... Before I had friends and family, now I have no one... I can't work right now due to health issues and if I did get a job I would probably not even be able to cover daycare. Thanks for listening, there is so much more I have to say but I better go to bed, babies still wake up a lot and my little guy has school in the morning. Thanks for listening. I didn't write down all if the awful things he says because I've cried enough tonight. I wanted to be angry instead of sad...
