Ingy

I am 31 with 7 wonderful children I have been married 7 years and together 11 years.. But I am not happy i fact I go from a conversation with my husband and fly off the handle and I am so angry.. It's got worse over the last few months where I just don't have any patience. I live miles away from family and very rarely see my friends.. I feel isolated which don't help, but my dad came to stay with me for a week and I really enjoyed spend sometime with him but when he left I was heartbroken. I spoke to my step mum and she told me my dad was worried that I don't look happy. So I was then worried if my dad who I don't see for a year can see it how obvious is it? I am not sure what's triggered it off but I find my self upset, tired, lonely, empty and angry a lot at the moment. Now my mum is getting married to a man who molested me and my sister from 11 to 16 and she never listened to us although I think deep down she knows the truth he means more than we do... The hard thing for me is I try so hard to play happy families for the sake of my brothers (his children) and my mother although I wish I didn't care what she thought about me I do I m even a bridesmaid long with my sister because we wouldn't dare not to be! Now for years I have managed to keep it away but I am not sure if this is what's festering and making me feel the way I do or weather something else is? It's easy for ppl on the out side looking in to think well I would of this and that but it's so difficult because this is my family..