| | 30 years of Marriage and Verbal Abuse
First, I feel a little guilty posting about this like maybe I'm just a whiner, because he's never physically hurt me, and the verbal abuse is not THAT bad and I know a lot of you have much more serious problems, but.... after 30 years of marriage to a man with anger issues I'm ready to leave. Yet for some reason, I can't bring myself to do it. Why? Because he's always sorry and apologizes! I know abusers do that, but he seems so sincere. I can't figure out if his behavior justifies me leaving him and tearing up the family. I'm 50 and he's 52 and our daughter is 10. It's like that song by REO Speedwagon "I make you laugh, you make me cry, I believe it's time for me to fly".... We have a lot of yelling and criticism going on around here, usually initiated by him (in the words of my daughter "things were fun until daddy got home") I'm easy going and he's very harsh, he's prior military and has a lot of control issues. He's super critical of things and has developed some OCD and germaphobe stuff lately, and yes we are in marriage counseling and I'm in individual counseling. I have a great job and can afford to move out tomorrow! I have no real roadblocks to leaving except that he says he loves me SO much and wants this to work. So... I don't leave. I don't want to hurt him for what most would consider "mild verbal abuse", like telling me my ideas are stupid, not understanding me, road rage and being rude to others, making my daughter cry by being too harsh on her - but no physical stuff. I think he gaslights too. Has anybody been so miserable yet doesn't take the next step? I'm just hoping somebody can relate so I won't feel so alone. Thanks for listening.