Hi I'm hoping some one can give me some advice and I thankyou in advance.
My mother (70) was diagnosed with parkinsons about 6 years ago after a benign brain tumour. I am one of two adult daughters, I was until i could bear it no longer, her main care giver other than my father who also suffers ill health.
My mother became obsessed with me and my life, she interfered obsessivly and very irationally with me and my teenage sons, to the point where she had to control everything about my life. she has caused a lot of problems here and i tried to stand up to her a few years ago to stop her causing problems and i tried to distance myself, i tried to be compassionate but assertive when she tried to control things, and treid to tell her nothing hoping she would no longer have nothing to be controlling over. it didn't work, i rent my home off my parents and she started to use her possition as landlord to get me to do what she wants me to do as my mother. she would threten to kick me out and ensured the kids they would always be able to live there if i was gone. She recruited my sons to pass on meggeges and find out what i was doing. she hed them show her my bank statements and keep track of where i went and what i spent. she kept telling them i was a bad mother, id gone mental, accused me of being secretive and deceitful. when i was vague about wgere i was going she would call me a liar in front of my kids and anyone else, saying i hadn't told her the whole truth, it was awful.
at the time i didn't realise that both parkinsons itself and levodopa that she takes can cause delusions and obsessive behaviour, i just thought thats how she was. it was so hard to live that way but i had to do it, until it just got too much. she was tellling friends, family, my sister, my kids, everybody that i was mad, heeded help, i was a liar, secretive, abandoned my kids, and she'd be so convincing giving examples. she told them things that i am going to do next! i hadn't ever done anything, nothing like she was 'expecting' me to do, it was awful. i even had my sister phoning me telling me off for what i was 'going' to do! she phoned the council and wrote to them asking if all my corespondence could be sent to her as i was secretive and she needed to know what i was secretive about. luckily they thought it unusual and wrote to me enclosing a copy of the letter. they advised me to contact domestic abuse help line as what i was suffering seemed to be abusive. After i contacted them they were really supportive, and helped me set boundaries, keep to a legal path. it has really helped and i am much more relaxed, i keep away as much as possible and try and get on with my life. she is still obsessed, it seems to grow and snowball, the more independent i get the more obsessive she becomes and the more people she recruits to her distortion campaign. i feel its a great thing i am getting healthier, however i reel bad that she is getting so much worse. i could either give in to her ways and hope the obsessions will stop, but my life would be awful and as her rules include deciding how my kids should be brought up, i feel my kids lives would be ruined too so i don't really want to take that risk. however the strong option will only make her iller and iller. my dad has already started drinking, and his health is getting worse too as she wakes him during the night obsessing about me. he can't cope and tells me off for not doing what she wants as it is making her ill and he is the one that suffers. he has given up being angry with her, and drinks so much he has to hide it, yet seems to be in denial when i tell him something is very wrong. what can i do? i have spoke to my 2 uncles over my concerns for both my parents, and both can see what is happening but my dad won't listen to either of them, and its dad that has to approach our gp to get any help for her. it may just mean looking at changing her meds or something silly, but he just won't listen. any advice is much appreciated