Deda

Well, I went in today, Mandy, (and others) and was a bit nervous, (the nurse said everybody is), and like everyone on this board says, it was a piece of cake. You all were right about that! (and thanks for advice too to everyone)

The sad news is....the Dr. didn't see anything! No hernia, no ulcers, and I just could not believe it! I was so upset, I cried....just what the hell is causing this pain then??!! I was so sure they would find something, that when he said there wasn't anything, I was stunned. I was angry too, and told him I want further tests done, (I told him I want a cat scan), and he said, "okay, we can do that". But now I am wondering if I even should?

I do have acid reflux though.....could that be causing all of this pain?? It doesn't seem possible to me.

Anyway, when I got there he asked how I was feeling lately. I told him the past couple of weeks, I am waking almost every morning to terrible pain in my stomach, it feels like I'm starving, and like if I don't eat I am going to die. Also I get severe burning in my stomach too. Sometimes eating relieves it, but sometimes too, only for a short while. Some days it hurts badly, other days just mildly, some days it doesn't even hurt.

Then he asked me if I followed up with a shrink like he "we talked about last time?" I told him I've already been seeing one for a few months, and also seeing a counselor. When he got done with the test, I was angry, and I told him "this pain is NOT being imagined Dr." He told me that he believed me completely,but he also knows that I have anxiety disorder and depression, (dad passed away in May), and said that anxiety and our emotions can present themselves in [real] physical pain, and the symptoms are real.

Now I am really beginning to wonder about this,.....I do have some marital problems going on, and a ton of anger towards my husband....ever since 2 days before my dad passed away, and he left me alone to go fix other people's car's...(he could have put this off,....it's a side business, and he doesn't have to be there), and then 5 days later after my dad passes away, (the 1st weekend after) he left me alone for the whole day again......I cried, pleaded and begged him not to leave me alone. (I don't have anyone else except my husband, mour son, (daughter moved to NC) and my not so nice brother.

My husband told our (grown) son, [during a fit of rage], (as if, how dare she ask me to!!) anyway, he told our son, "she needs to quit crying and grow up and stop acting like a 5 year old,.....people die!!!..... [screaming], and "People don't live forever!!!" (as if it were something we didn't know)

Then going through more tough times with my only living brother....long story, but my dad had left me as his sole benificiery on his life insurance policy, (it wasn't huge, but...it was substantial amount) as my brother was always telling him, (bragging I guess) about all the money he has in the bank. (yes, he is very successful and has bragged to me that his estate is worth "millions" now)

Well, our dad was getting dementia and had to be put in a home, and this brother got him to sign over a power of attorney, (and he rubbed it in to me daily how much power he had, ie; "I can do anything with dad's money, make any decisions, etc) See...I live 500 miles away from where my brother and dad lived. Well, right away, he went and phoned dad's insurance co. and changed it, and added himself as well as me,...50-50 as benificiery. I always had a feeling he would do something like this, but to tell you the truth, I'm surprised I got any of it.

And he also handled our dad's bank accounts, which I later found out, he got more than 50% of that. Also he cleaned out our dad's place and took everything that was of any value, all of the photos, etc., and left me with just a box of cassette tapes....which he says he put in the attic to save for me. (I would've liked something... at least 1 thing of his to place in my home, in his memory)

I know this sounds suitable for the Relationship board, but MY POINT IS, I have an ENORMOUS amount of anger towards these 2 people. My husband isn't a total jerk, he really isn't, and is good to me in many other ways, but when it comes to that shop...it has always come before me. (everything he loves always has) I am having a hard time letting go of this one.....I'm mad as hell. He has never even apologized, [as that was something he was never taught to do] and it hurts so much....to get treated like this by the one person who should be there for me, before anyone else. It almost seems unforgivable. (our own daughter said she would divorce him, as she knows of how he's always put his interests, hobbies and other people before me. And scr- - - by my own brother...the only one left of my family.

So I am beginning to wonder, (all day today), could all of this pain in my stomach and chest be a result of all of this pent up anger?? Could it possibly make a persons stomach hurt, so extremely bad like this?

I also have a lot of health anxiety, due to this autoimmune disease I have, as my mom and older brother both had hypothyroid too, and went on to die of another AI disease....I can't even talk about it, it frightens me so badly.

So maybe my gastro Dr. is right? I wish I knew. Tell me what you guys think about this possiblity...please.

Deda