Severe anxiety affecting my life, need some support!
im 19 years old, and i started my first job as a nursery nurse about 2 and a half months ago, and since then i've become very very anxious over my health, i've self diagnosed myself so far with;
A brain tumour
Back in march id been wearing tight jeans and a small patch, and i mean about 6 dots of petachiae appeared on my leg...they dissapeared after a couple of days but yes..that caused me to diagnose myself with some form of leukemia..again told it was fine and that leukemic petachiae would not dissapear that quickly and would be more widespread.
A few weeks into the job i had a pain behind one eye, so i went to a walk in centre crying and telling the doctor i was sure i had a brain tumour..he told me to go to the opticians who carried out an eye test and said it was caused by eye strain, tiredness and stress and to get some sleep. so i did, and my eye felt better!no pain at all.
so then of course i moved onto something else, i thought if its not a brain tumour it must be multiple sclerosis...and that id had optical neuritis and the optician had missed it, this one went on for weeks and only stopped after i was reassured by everyone.
so now im onto throat cancer and lymphoma...a few weeks back i found a very tiny (smaller than a pea) movable soft feeling lymph node just under my ear, and another slightly further down on my jawline. this has now sent me into the worst state i've been in yet, even after being told that the nodes feel normal and nothing to worry about. i constantly spend time trying to find them (sometimes i cant find them) and then start getting panicked.
to add to this, last week at work a child accidently flung his head back into my larynx...so everytime i pushed my larynx it would make a clicking noise :S although that has stopped now..
anyway now i occasionally get the feeling like i have a lump in my throat...usually after eating which is the scary thing, or late at night. it feels awful when i get it and then im straight on google where everybodys talking about how this could be throat cancer...i havent been to the doctors yet about this and so i guess im looking for some support from anyone else that has ever felt like this, its caused trouble between me and my boyfriend and i dont want this anymore.. i cant go on like it, its like i cant just accept that im healthy, there must be something wrong... am i going mentally ill? is it the stress of a job? i just dont know but any help would be really greatful
Re: Severe anxiety affecting my life, need some support!
Everyone has worries and anxiety at times, but I would say maybe you need some help with it. I too suffered from anxiety and worry even panic attacks off and on. I am 58 , and in late 2008 early 2009, I became so anxious and worried , and then became depressed. I fought it for awhile but family members were telling me they thought I should talk to my Dr. about an anti-deppresant. I am very anti-pill so this was a big deal for me. Long story short it was the very best thing for me,not only did it cure my depression within a week or so, but I am so much able to handle things, hard to explain. But for instance sometimes I wouldn't want to drive some where if it was alittle far away, wondering what would happen if I had a panic attack, now I don't even think about it, everything is just freeer feeling. I sometimes think about going off the Lexepro, becasue I may not need them still for depression, as my Dr. said I just got into a really bad patch at that time, but would I go back to being more anxious about things? So I am sticking with it, have no side effects, take a lose dose, have been on it since April 2009. Sometimes to much worry and anxiety can bring on depression, I think it deplets something from your brain. Talk to your Dr. about it, you are so young to go through this. Good luck.