My intentions here are not to bring people down. I just wanted to ask people who have been left with scars (i.e. minimal, moderate or severe), even those who haven't been left with scars, if they are terrified of having children? More to the point, do people fear that what happened to them could happen to their children? I know, I do! I must admit that my prospects for having children at the moment are not high, but I must admit that I grieve lost opportunities and doors that have been closed. I know that many will say: "you have chosen to close to those doors." I am fully aware of this! I guess, when it comes down to it, I know that moderate acne and the resulting minimal-moderate scarring, that I endured/endure has affected/stunted my life. I must admit that I have close friends who have been dealt similar cards, and they too seemingly, have been side-tracked; you know, not taken a certain career path, that they more than likely would have chosen, had it not been for acne. Let me restate, I'm not trying to bring people down - just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Karl I am very very aware of the powerful effects this skin disease has on our psyche. People take their clear skin for granted and do not fully realize how much they appreciate it inside, and how much it is truly necessary in society. If anyone wants to know how important clear skin really is to people, then take a look at what people with acne are willing to go through just to get it. That should show them. People are willing to give up their sex lives. People are willing to take powerful and dangerous medications. It is not just about looking in the mirror and seeing clear skin. It is about being treated with respect in society. No one with acne would wish it on their worst enemy. That is how bad it is. I don't want anyone to suffer with this and if I have information that stands the possibility of benefiting other people as it has benefited me then I must share it. No way around it.
Yes, there was a time when I thought about future generations, children etc. As it stands, more and more people are getting acne. But I believe those who get acne actually have better genes from an evolutionary standpoint than those who do not. I tell you now, just because people have clear skin and eat the same western diet doesn't mean they are getting away with it.
You forgot the silly phrase that everone states but no one believes. "It does not matter what you look like on the surface." In politics the best looking candidate will win everytime. Doesnt matter if they are stupid. A good looking criminal can get away with anything, compared to an average looking criminal.
im glad i didnt have kids to pass this on to.off hand i know only 1 person with my problem......me.my androgens are causing my sebasous glands to over produce sebum resulting in acne for years.even if some foods lower my testosterone level i will not be able to perform in bed anyways.most guys skins clear up before they hit 30.if i wanted to go to the extreme i could have a sex change and my skin would be clear forever.i would not be producing androgens.well maybe a little but i would still have to be on an androgen.99.9 percent of guys dont have to deal with this.my body didnt develop like a guy.i like girls but i can stay alone.right now i cant have sex but my skin is clear and im happy.i dont need sex to live.i dont know anyone that has to go this far other than me.i should have been put on androgens and been raised a girl.my skin would have been clear and i wouldnt have had all the social disorders acne has caused me.being a lesbian is better than being alone all the time and having to suffer from severe acne for 27 years.i might have went on to college and least made something better of myself than working 25 years in a factory.i had accutane day one when it first came out.my derm and i knew about it a year even before it came out and i wanted on it so bad.it cleared my skin for about 10 months to a year and the second course did nothing for my skin.i have asked girls out after high school but i guess i looked to girl like.i have been able to kinda control it over the years with various topical and oral meds.i never eat a lot of sweets and never have dairy products.really i could die tomorrow and be happy about the last 14 months.its been so great to be acne free.the hardest part is being alone but other than that and some mood swings that premerin causes life isnt that bad.im not asking anyone to do what i did but it was my choice and im happy i made it!
Your story is truly inspirational. You are a true survivor and even hero. I admire and commend your strength, courage and determination. I am so glad to hear that you are finally happy and that you are acne free! I only wish you the best in your many joyous years to come. Congratulations once again on your great success. May you continued to be blessed.
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow ~ Author uknown
Last edited by LuckyStar1; 11-30-2003 at 03:57 PM.
Thanks for responding; even those of you who haven't responded, but can identify. Thanks Sunfell, I can always rely on you for some positive rhetoric. Openseason, you are absolutely right buddy looks/aesthetics make the world go round. What's so infruriating is that one's fate is dictated my nothing other plain dumb luck. The way I see it is this: its all about power - and I don't mean power with merely negative connotations; power can be positive. "Body Power" gives you choice - choice gives you dignity, and dignity gives you quality of life. There is no way around it. Hi Joeh! I've read many of your posts, and I have to say that you are a fighter and a gentleman, and that's a rare mix. Loneliness sucks - I know. As an adult, I have never had a girlfriend; and this has been because I've never found a girl that I LIKE. There have been plenty of girls that have shown interest in me, and I just haven't been able to reciprocate that interest. And no, its not that they weren't good looking enough. Joe, I've passed up so much sex and companionship, that I must be nuts - and trust me I really like girls. I just don't want to date/use someone that I don't gel with just for the sake of "having someone." On the other hand, I have had girls literally stalk me, and then really cool off after seeing my face. I guess, I'm good looking from a distance. I've had female friends, who have no idea that my face bothers me say: Oh.... you could have any girl that you want! I really can't make head or toe of anything anymore. I can't believe I said all that; I better stop talking.....because this anonymity thing is quite freeing. Just before I go.... Joe, some of the best looking guys out there go unnoticed -trust me on this buddy. I'm not trying to take a swipe at girls here, because guys do this to... many people just can't appreciate uncommon (rare) beauty. :
I kinda worry about my future kids havin it but I try not to think about it too much.I try not to let it make me think twice about things either,lifes too short to worry about it.I saw a guy on "skin deep" that had really bad acne scars and hes like 40 and still lives at home cuz acne was just too much..I never wanna turn out like that.
Look at me
you may think you see who I really am
but youll never know me
now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world
but I cannot fool my heart
who is that girl I see,starting straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who Iam inside..
i will be happy to have someone to watch tv with.i did ask a girl out the other day but she had a boyfriend but i think its the best i have done in my life.if i found a girl that liked me im willing to go off this premerin/spiro med.i would give low doses of accutane for however long i guess until it kills me.or if the girl would help me on these diet plans that sunfell and sweet jade 1 have mentioned i would give them a try.i do look a lot better as a guy.im 5'7'' and 160lbs but still look skinny.well my arms are skinny.i dont think i look that bad but 27 years is a lot of years and its hard getting back into things.i look a lot younger than my brother thats 2 years younger than me.it does just seem like i was 21.the years go by fast so fast.i had a great md in the 80s that told me there are worse things than scarred skin because he was a pow in the vietnam war.so yea a lot of people have had it worse.i guess i could have got married and divorced and been paying alimony too.i just wish i had a girl to hugg once in awhile.it isnt the same hugging a dog.my back is scarred with acne scars but that doesnt bother me at all.just the face and my face is looking better.my scars are getting better though.my derm says i just dont wanna see it.hey and 2 girls i know did give me a hugg this year at wal-mart.it seems like thats the only thing we have here are wal-marts.lol i think if i did have kids though i would focus on them other than my face.i know they are working on some type of enzyme med with guys.spiro isnt the greatest thing for guys to be using but after accutane there isnt much left.see ya