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Old 05-20-2005, 03:29 PM   #1
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babygirl2005_21 HB User
Unhappy Will the agony ever end???

I hate having acne. I never in my life thought I would get something like this. I had flawless skin till age 20. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I am crying as I write this because not to sound conceited but I have a beautiful face and I always prized myself on my looks. It is so hard now because all the scars and red marks are destroying me. I don't have terrible acne but I do have alot of breakouts on my chin and forehead. Mainly whiteheads but sometimes cysts. I pray every night it will go away and wake up every morning and it is still there. I am doing every thing the derm says exactly right. But I don't know if I will be stuck with this forever. I hate seeing people I haven't seen in awhile because they remember my face in high school and it was perfect. Now it looks terrible. I used to love to party and have fun with my friends but now acne has turned me into a moody, introverted *****. I just hate to think of the mean things people say behind my back because I know people talk about it. The person I feel most sorry for isn't even myself. It is my boyfriend and my family. On my bad days I mope around and take my anger and sadness out on them. I just want to be back to my old self. Maybe one day I will crawl out of this deep, dark hole that acne has put me in. Sorry for writing so much I just had to get this out.

 
Old 05-20-2005, 03:39 PM   #2
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pineapple4141 HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

I understand that this what you going through must be horrible. But its important that you know that true friends wont think anything of you just because you have acne & if they do then they are not true friends.
Your boyfriend & family- well im sure they understand your reasons for sometimes being alittle moody with them, so there is no need to worry about that.
What you have to remember is the outside appearence can change, but the inside of a person never changes with that & you are still beautiful to your boyfriend & others because its still you- your still there.
Take care

 
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Old 05-20-2005, 03:41 PM   #3
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arock HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

babygirl, you are in good company here. so many of us are in your boat, surrounded by people who seem to not have any problems with their skin, completely oblivious to how consumed we are by ours. all the advice from people who have no idea what they're talking about simply b/c they've never had what we have. i too had a lovely face until i was about 22, then all of a sudden, literally overnight i started getting all these huge pimples and within about a week i was covered, just my face. it took me about a year to get to a derm and luckily he was able to clear me up for a few years, but still i'm here, almost ten years later on accutane, hoping it will be the final solution. so far, so good, but it's been a long, hard journey getting here. you'll find what works for you, don't despair, don't give up, and never, ever lose sight of your true beauty, the beauty that a few, or a few hundred, pimples could never hide.

btw, have you tried the lemon juice thing? it helped me within a few days when my cysts were at their disgustingly worst, and they were so bad! as wide as my thumb, and as long as my finger, all along my jaw. why do they like it there so much? anyhoo, it goes like this: the juice of one lemon in water or herbal tea, every day. has to be a fresh, fruity lemon, not the bottled juice. there's a whole thread with the reasoning behind this, but it worked for me. i don't do it every day anymore, but monthly, when things are getting outta hand i just do the lemon thing and problems seem to go away in day or two. good luck babygirl, and take care of yourself. ali

 
Old 05-20-2005, 03:44 PM   #4
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pineapple4141 HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

For The Record I Do Have Acne Also, Actually

 
Old 05-20-2005, 04:10 PM   #5
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babygirl2005_21 HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

Thank you so much for replying. It really makes me feel alot better. It is good to know there are still good people in the world that care about others.

 
Old 05-20-2005, 04:15 PM   #6
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pineapple4141 HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

Your very welcome- takecare & anytime you want to talk then there are always some great people here whp are always willing to listen & help.
Best Wishes

 
Old 05-20-2005, 04:53 PM   #7
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Cassie4u22 HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

BabyGirl - Wow I read your story and I can totally relate. I started getting very, very, mild acne around age 15. It slowly got worse though around age 16, and at age 17 I went on Accutane - cleared me up PERFECTLY!! Now I am a 20 year old college student and I am having to deal with mild acne again along with slight scars, red marks, bad tone, oiliness and large pores. Like you, I had always thought I was pretty attractive. I like everything about my facial features and I couldn't be happier with my body... but my SKIN! AURGH!! I always think, "If only my skin would be better I would be so much happier." (Which I know is not a good mindset, but I can't help but think it.)

Every girl I hang around has perfect skin - the kind of skin where they dont have to wear ANY makeup and they still have porcelain china doll skin. It makes me so jealous!!! I hate having to spend so much time slathering on foundation, concealer, bronzer and powder every time I want to step outside the apartment. I wish I could have the kind of skin where I could just go run errands, go to class, be outside, go swimming, etc. and not have to worry about my skin or my makeup getting smudged.

I feel like I am going on my own rant now, but what I am trying to say is that you are not alone in this!! Acne sucks, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Right now I am taking Acidophilus and Milk Thistle supplements, spironolactone, and I am drinking POMWonderful Pomegranate juice for the antioxidant support. This combination seems to be working well. I am also getting microdermabrasion treatments with a regimine of Renova and Neostrata. (WHEW!!) Things seemed to be bleak at the beginning of all this, but now my regimine seems to be coming together and my skin is looking better.

Basically, keep the faith that there IS a regimine out there that will work for you. Also, someone recently told me something that was sort of a "lightbulb" moment for me. I was complaining about my skin (as always), and they said, "Hey - you don't like your skin and that upsets you. Well there are tons of people with perfect skin that have other problems - whether it be physically, emotionally, sociallly, etc... so just focus on the good and know that no one is perfect." This thought really helped me for some reason, hope it will help you as well. Good luck, and don't get discouraged! Everyone on this board has proven to be a great support line and all really do care!

 
Old 05-21-2005, 08:50 AM   #8
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xismybaby HB User
Re: Will the agony ever end???

Hey babygirl~ I understand exactly how you are feeling and we always ask "why me?", but sometimes we just need to relax. Stressing doesnt help one bit, and feeling sorry for ourselves doesnt either. I know its just a natural reaction, because everytime we look in the mirror we want to cry. It's so hard to deal with acne and physical problems especially now-a-days when beauty and perfection is a must. You cant look on the television without seeing beautiful people with beautiful skin. My main problem isnt full blown acne, but my skin is never perfect..NEVER. I always think..."oh i would be so beautiful if my skin was flawless or at least normal".
Just know that people care about you and that you will get through it. and chances are the people that you are moody to, understand and love you know matter what.
Good luck

 
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