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Old 09-13-2005, 04:00 AM   #1
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Accutane Dude HB User
Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

I'm getting a lot of mixed feelings about my face, i mean literally somedays i wake up and I think it's great and other days I think it's horrible.

First of all i think im kinda going crazy. Like I'm completely obsessed. I'm a mirror addict for one and ALWAYS thinking about my face, even when it looks decent.

I think a lot of it has to do with the lighting. Like I'll look at my face and think im practically clear, but then go in another light in another bathroom or look in my car mirror or whatever and have a completely different outlook!! Like is this normal or is this crazy?? Also I'm always paranoid people are judging my face and if i even have one pimple now i won't go out in public.

I really think a lot of this has to do with me isolating myself due to a horrible break out about a year ago. I NEVER use to be this bad and my acne is very good right now. I have soooo much money and im too scared to even travel. I'm terrified of not being able to properly refrigerate my acne cream and keep my face clean. I mean all i want to do is be able to go camping with my friends or something like that, but i cant cause i know it's brutal for my face.

Sorry about this post it's just a bunch of unorganized ramble thats stuck in my head. I just had to get it off my chest im so sick of this stupid obsessing and stupid acne problem!! I just want to get on with my life!!

 
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Old 09-13-2005, 06:34 AM   #2
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Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

Accutane Dude,

I hear ya!! I too feel like I am going crazy. Even my derm told me he thought I was crazy! I haven't had a major breakout in about a month or so....as of right now, I have about four red marks on my face and that's it, no pimples or anything....yet I am about to start my second course of Accutane tomorrow (40 mg every other day). I am completely obsessed with getting ABSOLUTELY CLEAR PERFECT SKIN. If there is ANYTHING on my face, that's it, I feel ugly and I obsess about it 24/7.

I can't go 10 minutes without thinking about my face, and that is no exaggeration. When I see people with that beautiful, seamless skin that I envy so much, I get a sick feeling in my stomach b/c I so desperately want to have their skin!!!

Since your title bears it's name, I assume you have been on Accutane? How many times? If your acne is bothering you so much lately, have you thought about another course? If it is just mild, perhaps your derm would put you on a lower dose regimen like mine is doing.

 
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Old 09-13-2005, 06:54 AM   #3
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xismybaby HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

yup! I'm the same way too...If I have one or two pimples I'm miserable, or I just obsess over them. Some days my face looks relatively clear, and others it looks like a mess (i dont understand how it can change so drastically in a day????).

I would really be the happiest girl in the world if my skin was perfect, and I know how good I would look if it was, and I think thats what makes me more upset about it. That this is the only thing thats holding me back from being soooo happy with myself.

AccutaneDude, I also will look in one mirror and think my skin looks great, and then look in another (with diff. lighting) and be disgusted. It just gets depressing after a while because you know you try your hardest to care for your skin (internally and externally) and yet you are constantly let down by the results.

I'm sick of wasting my money and my time focusing on this, I just want to forget about it and live without this holding me back.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 09:45 AM   #4
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Smartpants HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

I also obsess over my skin at times and am preoccupied with looking in mirrors. When at the mall, I must look in literally 50+ mirrors (multiple mirrors in each store) just to see how good/bad it looks in different lighting...Unlike some of you though, I'm not longing for PERFECT skin, I'll be happy with clear skin the majority of the time, after what ive gone through these last few months, THAT would be a drastic improvement.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 10:09 AM   #5
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omega47 HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

i don't look in the mirror in light at all. i always go to the bathroom with LIGHTS OF. im sick of acne. i dream of seeing myself with perfect skin.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 04:12 PM   #6
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scouselad1974 HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Accutane Dude
I'm getting a lot of mixed feelings about my face, i mean literally somedays i wake up and I think it's great and other days I think it's horrible.

First of all i think im kinda going crazy. Like I'm completely obsessed. I'm a mirror addict for one and ALWAYS thinking about my face, even when it looks decent.

I think a lot of it has to do with the lighting. Like I'll look at my face and think im practically clear, but then go in another light in another bathroom or look in my car mirror or whatever and have a completely different outlook!! Like is this normal or is this crazy?? Also I'm always paranoid people are judging my face and if i even have one pimple now i won't go out in public.

I really think a lot of this has to do with me isolating myself due to a horrible break out about a year ago. I NEVER use to be this bad and my acne is very good right now. I have soooo much money and im too scared to even travel. I'm terrified of not being able to properly refrigerate my acne cream and keep my face clean. I mean all i want to do is be able to go camping with my friends or something like that, but i cant cause i know it's brutal for my face.

Sorry about this post it's just a bunch of unorganized ramble thats stuck in my head. I just had to get it off my chest im so sick of this stupid obsessing and stupid acne problem!! I just want to get on with my life!!
Yeah me too i'm totally obsessive and can't concentrate on anything else at all if i have one single spot, i have to apply as many treatments as possible and put my life on hold until the sucker has gone, i was never this obsessive when i was younger but as i'm getting older i seem to be getting worse and worse, i am not looking for perfect skin just clear skin would do me, i don't even mind the odd spot or two just not every single day of my life though.
I wish i could just get on with my life because there is so much i want to do and this pain in the butt just seems to make everything that bit harder.
It's amazing how we all feel the same and we all obsess over the same things, i hope dermatologoists and doctors read these boards because maybe we could get better treatment then.
The whole thing sucks big time.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 07:10 PM   #7
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california1 HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

i am ready to put newspaper over all the mirrors in my house so i dont have to deal with looking at myself. occasionally ill have a week long stretch where my skin is pretty clear, even then i hate to look in the mirror.

im on accutane right now, if it does its job, i feel as if i would still be scared of mirrors.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 07:18 PM   #8
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Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

oops, repeat post

Last edited by california1; 09-13-2005 at 07:51 PM.

 
Old 09-13-2005, 09:25 PM   #9
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babygirl2005_21 HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

I really have quit the "looking in the mirror all the time" thing but I do still think about my skin alot and worry about different situations and how I will look in different lighting. I am 95 % clear right now though due to Yasmin, a few topicals and Doxycycline. I have alot more self confidence right now then I did last summer that's for sure! But I am in a outside wedding on Friday and all I can think about is how I hope my skin won't look terrible in the sunlight. But everyone keeps telling me how great my skin looks but I think I am just obsessive and this whole situation with acne has messed me up in the head. I honestly think I see things in the mirror that nobody else even sees or notices and I think that holds true for alot of people on here too.

 
Old 09-14-2005, 03:37 PM   #10
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Kelly03 HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

It's called OCD, we all have it. I too feel I am obsessed over my acne, how can I cure it, how can I treat it, isolating myself, looking in every mirror I pass, making sure I can get to a mirror every once and a while to check on my face, hate camping because of acne - friends and relatives can go without washing hair and no makeup and look fine, but me if not concealor, yuck and I am so cranky when my face is bad, oh not to mention won't go swimming or to the beach, may get wet and see all the acne red glares........Obsessive Compulsion Disorder.

Thats my input anyways.

I honestly do get cranky too, its dumb.

 
Old 09-15-2005, 02:25 PM   #11
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sometimesalive HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

Ahh..I hate it, this "disease" is the most debilitating thing sometimes...it has such psychological control over me...its disgusting. When I get a bad breakout, I feel like I'm not even the same person. I dont want to leave the house, i dont want to be social, and I can't even look people in the eyes. It's so sad, because when I'm clear I love to go out, and talk to people, make eye contact, etc... Just recently I started dating this girl and for some reason, my acne has gotten worse the past few weeks, so i'm not even being myself around her, and it sucks. We made plans to go out last night, but I woke up yesterday with some bad spots, and I didn't even want to go out with this beautiful girl, because I looked like *****. But I decided to try to not let it bother me, but damn, i just couldn't help but think about it everytime she looked at me...I hate it. I feel like I'm stressed out the whole time I have a breakout. I feel anxious and like I could get mad or sad really easily... I just wish this would go away.

It's like it keeps me from fully enjoying life...like someone else said, I turn down camping trips cause I know that my face will be a wreck, I skip out on some days to the beach. Sometimes I even want to call in sick for work. Where's the cure already???

 
Old 10-21-2005, 01:28 PM   #12
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Accutane Dude HB User
Re: Am I paranoid and going Crazy? Whats wrong with me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassie4u22
Accutane Dude,

I hear ya!! I too feel like I am going crazy. Even my derm told me he thought I was crazy! I haven't had a major breakout in about a month or so....as of right now, I have about four red marks on my face and that's it, no pimples or anything....yet I am about to start my second course of Accutane tomorrow (40 mg every other day). I am completely obsessed with getting ABSOLUTELY CLEAR PERFECT SKIN. If there is ANYTHING on my face, that's it, I feel ugly and I obsess about it 24/7.

I can't go 10 minutes without thinking about my face, and that is no exaggeration. When I see people with that beautiful, seamless skin that I envy so much, I get a sick feeling in my stomach b/c I so desperately want to have their skin!!!

Since your title bears it's name, I assume you have been on Accutane? How many times? If your acne is bothering you so much lately, have you thought about another course? If it is just mild, perhaps your derm would put you on a lower dose regimen like mine is doing.
I've been on accutane 2 times. both for 6 months and at 1 point i was actually doing 120 mg a day... which is insane. The first cycle was about 4 years ago and it went extremely well. I was doing 100 mg a day and i got completely 100% clear.

The second completely destroyed my face needless to say. I was 180 pounds doing 80 mg a day, that didn't clear me up in one month so i literally go angry with my derm demanding 100 mg, she gave me that... next month that didn't work and i begged her and basically forced her to give me 120 mg.. well that put my face into chaos.. fianlly she took me off and it started clearing up after she took me off. Still nothin amazing but not like the crazines i was having on accutane.

Now my face i would say has mild acne. My best friend says it's very minor but he of course is just being nice. It's impossible to get a TRUE anaylsis of your skin and despite my paranoia I am still "somewhat" sane so i can see the diff. I see kids that are in there teens with acne worse then mine all the time, however i'm 20 now and it's hard to find someone out of there teens that still suffers with acne. Especially males. So often when im at the bar I feel VERY out of place. I'm still gonna keep truckin though and hopefully I grow out of this damn thing.

 
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