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Old 06-11-2003, 02:47 AM   #1
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Unhappy Please--Advice from girls!

A lot of times when I meet a girl and talk to her, I just can't help feeling that she is noticing my moderate acne and being repelled by it. Its extremely depressing. Just wondering how the ladies feel about this. If a guy is fun to be around, intelligent, etc., does the acne put them at a disadvantage? Please advise!

 
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Old 06-11-2003, 03:15 AM   #2
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Hi there,

I am not a lady, but I think that, like gentlemen, not all ladies are the same.

Besides, in general, ladies tend to think more than men about settling down with a partner of the right temperament and attitude and personality, not just a guy with the right looks, brains and riches, but horrible self-centered uncaring personality.

Just like there are guys too who don't wish to have a 'shrew' of a self-centred vain egotistic woman who flirts and flaunts her body to every tom diick and harry to entice and seduce them.

Then again there are men who are good looking as well as good personalities, and likewise women. A good personality is not restricted to those who have been tried by something like acne. I am saying this just to point out we should not be prejudiced or envious and bitter against good-looking smooth-skinned people.

If one believes in God, resignation to His Will with patience is very rewarding and comforting, more so if it is a hard struggle within the mind itself, weakened by the desires of the flesh. This resignation to the Will of God, whatever it may be, is the ultimate source of inner peace, imho.

All the Best.
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The above is only my Personal Humble Opinion, Folks.

I am no expert on these matters. Please consult the (supposed) experts, and seek the advice of other people as well.

 
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Old 06-11-2003, 03:15 AM   #3
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Hi Strawberry- no I wouldnt think anything bad at all- but thats cause I know what its like! Thing is, I was kind of 'with' a guy for a couple of weeks and his skin was worse than mine and I realised he was such an idiot it really turned me off- it was not his acne though! Its not worth it if the person is superficial. If you didnt have acne, what else would they judge you on in the end??

Wish I could take my own advice though...


 
Old 06-11-2003, 06:55 AM   #4
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i'm a 26 yr old woman (with absolutely no interest in settling down Hopetimistic, and there's plenty like me out there, so be careful before you generalize), and i admit, if someone has awful acne, really really bad, i have a hard time not looking at it, but i've never said no to a date or whatever based on a guy's skin. In fact, i've found plenty of guys with mild to moderate acne attractive. And my most recent ex, as far as i'm concerned is the cutest boy ever, and he gets occasional cysts.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 07:50 AM   #5
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Thanks for the replies. It helps to know there truly are good people out there. I guess I'll just have to deal with it somehow, and maybe just learn that I'll never really be that happy.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 08:08 AM   #6
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Hi Sedulous,

What I meant to say, but may not have put it the right way, was that those who 'do' wish to settle down in a married life, would generally, but not necessarily, like to do so with a caring sort of man.
This is not the only thing on the list, but it usually ranks rather highly, imho.

What it boils down to is that physical beauty is usually not the only or even most important thing on the list for many men and women searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right. There are a multitude of factors, and the heart is involved in it too, so it is not all that straight-forward.

All the Best.
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The above is only my Personal Humble Opinion, Folks.

I am no expert on these matters. Please consult the (supposed) experts, and seek the advice of other people as well.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 08:33 AM   #7
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strawberry,

my friend has moderate acne but is very popular. I wouldnt judge anyone if their skin looks bad. If their is someone inparticular you would like to date ask her because i think rarely does someone turn down someone with a great personality, and that is smart etc.

hope this hepls a little!

 
Old 06-11-2003, 10:24 AM   #8
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Strawberryfields99,
I can identify with your question... I am a female and often when a guy is talking to me all I can think is "can he notice my zits? I bet that one on my chin is really noticeable as I talk..."blah blah blah- in fact, I think it distracts me so much I don't notice *his* skin. I actually don't see mild to moderate acne as a turn off, having a personality that is happy and self-confident really distracts people from noticing your skin. I have tried to become like this for myself.. I've noticed when i don't mention my skin to people, such as "gosh, my makeup looks so bad" or "man, my face looks so horrible, I'm so embarrased", when I don't say these things, nobody really seems to care.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 10:31 AM   #9
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I think a real (girl) friend(if ur looking for one) who loves you will not go back because of your acne;anyone can have acne at any stage.A real friend can only help you take care of your acne.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 03:51 PM   #10
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I honestly don't think people look at it as a big deal. It's hard not to wonder if people are noticing. I have very mild acne on my face and girls don't really seem to care at all. My friends face is totally broken out. He's got like 15 acnes per square inch and girls don't mind it at all.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 04:35 PM   #11
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My teenager daughter and her friends don't care. They hang out with a whole group of guys, most of whom have acne anywhere from mild to severe, and they love them all--some are overweight and have acne--and these girls all have clear skin, are pretty, and are not overweight. They talk all the time about how they would rather have someone with a great personality who is fun and considerate than some guy who is just thinking about himself all the time. Girls like attention and feeling cared about most of all, and to be truthful are often more concerned about their own looks than how the guy looks.

Personally, I love my man so much he could grow oozing warts on his entire face and I would still adore him, because he is the funniest, most intelligent, caring, and thoughtful man I've ever known. I look in those eyes and I see a prince 24/7 because that's what he is.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 06:49 PM   #12
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I dont mind a guy with acne either and I didnt notice that I didnt care about acne until I seen the sexiest guy with acne all over his face. I was so attracted to him, I think about him 24/7. So no girls do not care.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 09:05 PM   #13
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You know what? When I was in high school I had pretty ok skin. Some blackheads on the nose and white heads around the corners of my mouth, but nothing noticeable. Anyway, to be entirely truthful, speaking as a person who didn't have acne and couldn't relate at the time, I found that yes, I noticed it at first. But you know what? After that it was completely invisible to me. I fell for a guy...and I fell HARD, and he had really severe acne all through high school. He wasn't very good-looking either, but the smile and the eyes and his awesome personality made up for all that, and every time I saw him, I never even saw those pimples, just HIM.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 09:55 PM   #14
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I have a friend who can relate to this.

Shes kinda a dits. She thinks that guys have bad hygeine if they have acne. This is so untrue, my god.

 
Old 06-11-2003, 11:27 PM   #15
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I totally would not let acne get in the way of getting to know someone...especially now after what Ive gone through. I see past everyones skin. My ex was wonderful...he stayed with me and loved me even my skin was at its worst, still saying he thought I was beautiful. My point is that anyone who wouldnt date someone else because of their skin is ignorant! And not worth your time to begin with

 
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