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Old 06-27-2003, 06:58 PM   #1
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Post and the saga continues: to laur and everyone else!

ok now,
well today was so filled with acne everywhere for me. i had a facial with the esthetician (sp) in my derm's office today, who is a very sweet lady. yet, she did not satisfy my facial needs. i used to get facials every month from my esthetician (who i didn't go to because of everything that happened and my embarrassment, etc) and my regualar lady never hurt me or damaged my skin and was oh so gentle. well the new lady blew that through the water today and oh my gosh my face i didn't think could look worse. well, i guess i was wrong. anyway, i got so fed up with my stupid pride today that i called my old lady (no joke intented) and she wanted to see me. well, she said, "we can help you a lot. no i can't gurantee perfection or how you were exactly, but i am hoping we can get you pretty close and then laser treatment most likely won't be necessary." well, as much as i liked to hear that, i still have doubts, you know. she has always used dermalogica on my and i have always liked their products, so i picked up 200 dollars worth (ouch) and am starting a new regimin as of now. she said that i should stop the azelex and start on this stuff again (which i used for years from when i was 14-17 or so, i guess all of high school pretty much). anyway, i am scheduled for july 3 for my first microdermabrasion (scary) and i will get a seried of 12 over 6-8 months she said. she said i need the full course (and i know that based on my horrid skin). she says i have to trust her and that what she wants me to to i HAVE to do it, meaning use the products like she says and cleanse like she says, etc. she explained to me the red face after procedure stuff, and that is what i don't like but have to expect. i just emailed my derm. as to what he thinks about this, because there is no way in hell i am letting that lady in his office touch my skin again. and she even used to be a client of my old lady who said "oh my gosh, she is an esthetician now, don't let her touch you, she can't be good for you, people think this is so easy, but it is a skill that needs to be atuned to each individual" well, don't i know she was right and i should have just gone to her from the start! so, anyway, where was i...oh yeah, i emailed the derm to see what he says and my parents have a meeting with him on tuesday to discuss all this because they are scared to death too about my face. she stopped my azelex acid use and has me on dermalogica and all that stuff and masks, etc. and she says she has dealt with many accutane patients and many worse off than me. i know she can make a difference for me, it is just up to convincing my parents, who trust her, but are concerned (as all parents are) and i know the first couple of months are going to be hard because this is all new and stuff. so i have a crazy mask on my face right now, and basically have to wear it all the time every night and whenever i feel like it during the day. it's kind of nice with it on, because i can look in the mirror and my face is covered in a white sheen, not ugly pits and fussures and hyperpigmentation. she said my pits won't all disappear, but can be diminished a lot. i know what some of you are thinking that she is trying to rip you off, etc. but lisa has always taken care of my skin and many others for years, and has kids of her own (beautiful girls i want to strangle..jk) and is very much Christian and believes in low stess and the power of God, etc. I trust her, yet am shaky on the subject because my face is so damaged, and i am wanting to start this, but it is my parents who have to be convinced (and my dad is on the NO side right now because he is out of town and can't really discuss it till he gets back and can talk to my derm). so, that was today and oh my gosh was it long and painful. let's just pray that this is right for me and this will help get me on the right track and back to a normal life.. she seems pretty confident!!
-M

 
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Old 06-27-2003, 08:26 PM   #2
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Hi M

I'm glad you're stopping the a. acid. I had a bad feeling about that not working for you, but didn't want to burst your buuble about it since you were so hopeful.


I don't know what to say about your new treatments, except you'll only find out if it works by trying it.
I really hope it does. I will pray you find a successful treatment.

Why did you stop going to her?

Good Luck!
~Emma

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Old 06-27-2003, 10:02 PM   #3
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hi emma,
well i stopped going to the old e. when my skin was perfect and i didn't need facials anymore (although that laste about 2 months before accutane). then i went on accutane and all hell broke loose (sorry i keep saying that, but it is true) and then i was with the new derm. and facials were out of the question until now, and i think my face is really damaged from today. i got out of the shower and my face is beet red and i washed (that was ok) toner (that stung) then bp(face turned red) and moisture (again, sting) so i am really irritated and don't know when or if that is going to subside, but i wasn't this red when i got home from the lady today and now it is just so burning and hurts. but i want to believe in this because my old e. does and she hasn't steered me wrong yet. let's hope this works because my face is killing me right now!

 
Old 06-27-2003, 10:21 PM   #4
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sheesh,
where are all my friends out there???
anyway,
so my last post says i am stressing because my skin is on fire, etc. well, i called my estitician and she explained that because i am super sensitive that this is normal, and that all this stuff is going to sting and turn me red and i just have to start slow and work up to all of it because this is a "process". well, duh, but i guess i am a little more comforted knowing she thinks so. she wants to look at me tomorrow again so i will go see her and see what she thinks of my tomato like face (hehe) and so on. as for now, lay off some of the stuff, she said, and we will gradually work up, and she said my face is really irritated from the facial today too (which was a mistake to go to the other lady..but she works with my derm???!!!???) i am glad to be back with my old e. right now and hopefully this will be it !!!!!
-M

Laur,
i hope all is well for you right now. your reunion is soon...how is the face, any better???? are moisturizers helping???? anything helping??? i broke down last night and had huge amounts of icecream on a cone....i needed to feed my heart because nothing topically is working, so i figured why not get fat eating well???!! just kidding, but it tasted good and i needed that. let me know how you are...you aren't probably on the board tonight because it is late where you are (i think) and so i will check to see if you are here tomorrow. my prayers are with you to get better and to have a great reunion!
-M

 
Old 06-28-2003, 07:34 AM   #5
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Good morning M

You sound so confident being back with this lady. I hope she can help you. I'm starting to be convinced that derms certainly can't fix me either. I keep thinking about it over and over and I really believe it just isn't typical acne. I get the oil filled ones that just appear. althought the accutane helps, it doesn't get rid of the stuff completely. I find that a little hard to believe. I have researched the Elidel as much as I can and found a few instances where lupus patients were dx with adult onset acne only to find out that it isn't. I have found Elidel being used for some lupus rashes and such. I don't know if I'm on the right path, but I realize now that for whatever reason the azelex/finacea only irritated my skin. some of the bumps that have been under there are still under there.....6 months now. They are raised and mostly skin colored. My chin has been breaking out pretty bad again. First one side and then the other. Only the oil filled ones. I pricked one and the oil came out and then it literally closed up again. Its like my immune sysyten just speeds over there and closes it up or something. I've been pretty depressed. If I just knew what path to follow, but I'm lost. I see the derm on Tuesday. Seriously thinking about an increase in the tane to at least help before my trip. I'm sooo sick of thinking about this!!!
I am still using the jojoba oil. I have also added the forte lotion 1 which contains water and glycolic acid. Its actually more like a gel and pretty runny. I've only used it in a couple areas since wednesday and it hasn't dried out or made the area red. I am hoping it will exfoliate some of the old top layers and thus keep the pores open somehow. Just my thoughts, but I've tried everything else. I am also considering after my trip, going off the accutane and trying the spiro or flutamide again if he says no to the Elidel or it doesn't help. M, I'm just so tired. Sad to say, but sometimes I feel like this consumes me and that I'll never be happy with myself again.
I am glad though that you are moving in a positive direction. I hope this lady can help you move past this. Sounds like she's more helpful than the derm!
As far as the a. acid, maybe it just doesn't work for some people. I read the posts from people that have used tazorac, azelex, retin a, differin, minocycline and even accutane, and while I am happy for their success, I just can't understand why nothing will clear this for me. I've done so much research and don't know what else to even look up. Today I woke up and once again realized this is part of my life. Very depressing.
Hope you are feeling good about things today.

L
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Old 06-29-2003, 01:56 PM   #6
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micheguns, let me be the first person to warn u. Not trying to burst your bubble here, but just a heads up. My derm told me ANY peeling, acid, dermabrasion, etc will make your skin more suspectible to the sun. If you already have hyperpigmentation problems, it will only make u more prone to it in the long term. Making your skin thinner will only make it weaker against the havoc of the sun's rays. But i guess you girls can always use your make up/foundation with SPF for that. but just a heads up.

And mich. if u weren't all the way in Michigan, I would love to meet u. U seem like a great person and i think i could really relate to u from what i was before. i'm over acne now, but i still got some scars from it.

i hope ur new regimen works out great. just don't give up.

 
Old 06-29-2003, 02:10 PM   #7
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micheguns, let me be the first person to warn u. Not trying to burst your bubble here, but just a heads up. My derm told me ANY peeling, acid, dermabrasion, etc will make your skin more suspectible to the sun. If you already have hyperpigmentation problems, it will only make u more prone to it in the long term. Making your skin thinner will only make it weaker against the havoc of the sun's rays. But i guess you girls can always use your make up/foundation with SPF for that. but just a heads up.

And mich. if u weren't all the way in Michigan, I would love to meet u. U seem like a great person and i think i could really relate to u from what i was before. i'm over acne now, but i still got some scars from it.

i hope ur new regimen works out great. just don't give up.

 
Old 06-29-2003, 02:42 PM   #8
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well GTI,
i don't know why you think i am in michigan (maybe the name) but that is just short for michelle. anyway, thanks for the warning and i am glad to know there are people out there (like you) that warn people like me of the things the doctors forget to say (because maybe they are money hungry??). you are a sweetie. yeah, my face is pretty much red all over and has been that way for months. my hyperpigmentation is the purple king that has been there since the accutane stopped 6 months ago. i don't know if you read my horror story, but you might if you want to know the whole saga. so, i am not sure if this hyperpigmentation is ever going to go away. it has been six months and not even one spot has faded, well, maybe a little, but not much at all. my cheeks are like one big purple mark. it really hurts to look at myself and even all the makeup in the world couldn't help me now!!! i stay out of the sun and have for 6 months now. i really haven't left my house at all, just to walk around the block in the early mornings (6-7ish). my esthitican (sp) gave me some sunscreen in case i wanted to go out (but there is no way i am ready to brave the world) and what scares me is that i start school again early august. my acne isn't really bad (just a few milia, whiteheads here and there and 2 cysts which have been there for months and the derm. couldn't even inject them out) but my hyperpigmentation is so bad. even in the farthest distance mirror it is awful. and my skin is so greasy, its gross too. it's hard to look at pictures of myself and know that i will never see that face again, but i am not looking for perfect, just to get rid of this horrid color. i think i might have developed rosacea from all of this too. before, my cheeks were white and had no color, and blush was what i needed to not look like a ghost, but now they are stained red and i don't know if that will go away or not. i think all the stress, and crying and flushing has stained them. i hope not though. ok, i have carried on too long. thank you and good luck with your own face.
-M

[This message has been edited by micheguns (edited 06-29-2003).]

 
Old 06-30-2003, 01:21 PM   #9
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I know I haven't posted to many of your topics but I hope things work out for you. From your posts I know you've had a difficult time with your skin but don't let it get you down. I look forward to your updates on how it turns out.

 
Old 06-30-2003, 02:07 PM   #10
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hi micheguns-

i don't reply much to your posts, b/c i rarely feel there's anything helpful i know to tell you, but this last post sounds like you're turning a corner in the road and i'm happy for you.

i think the best part is that you trust your e., which is one of the most important parts, and she sounds great, especially in her trying to simplify things, and take away the irritants, and re-introduce the products.

All of us look different than we did a few years ago. Don't cry about somebody in a picture... skin problems, life experience, environment changes, all contribute to how we look. Try not to grieve about the past, you can't change what's happened.

Best of luck with your new treatment decisions.

 
Old 06-30-2003, 05:35 PM   #11
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hi all,
thank you so much for the support.
well, let me update you as of now....
my parents and i had a long (i mean long) chat about all of this and microderm., etc. and their concerns as parents and further scarring, my sanity, etc. anyway, they support that this procedure needs to be done, but just question the timing (is it too soon, etc.?) anyway, they said that if I got one more derm.'s recommendation, then i could start july 3rd. well, i made an appointment with my old old derm (who treated my brother with accutane and now has FLAWLESS skin for 10 years since) and he saw me right away because he knows what i have been through. he took a look at me and felt my face (i hate when they do that, but they must to see what's there..i just think "bacteria"). he said go ahead with the microderm with my e. (who he used to work with for many years) and said that i should also get ipl photo facials in conjuction with the microderm to reduce the redness and hyperpigmentation (purple marks). for those of you that don't know, this is a nonlaser, no downtime, light treatment that treats rosacea, redness, etc. of the skin. he said that this would help a lot with the redness while the microderm helped even out and smooth my skin over the full course. he recommended 5 ipl's to me and said he wanted to do them and wants the e. to continue with the microderms. i picked up the brochure that explains it, and what do you know, it says microderm. enhances the effects of the ipl. so, it all sounds good, and judging by these treatments, i might be normal (or so) by the new year (let's pray) because these things take 6-8 months total. so i got the go ahead for the microderm. and now i have to talk to my parents about this (oh boy, here comes another long talk) and i am hoping they will be supportive of this to get rid of the redness since it is nonabrasive and nonlaser and no downtime. the stuff that my e. has me using right now (5 things in the AM and 5 things in the PM) are really exfoliating my skin right now (more than the tazorac did in 2 months). they are all aha or BP or salacylic based and i have calming lotions with aloe and primrose oil, etc. i love the products, but man is my face peely and a whole hue of pink (not bad, but noticeable to me and the derm. today). the e. says these are to prep my skin for the microderm. and that hopefully they will help peel the scars that have been there forever (6 months and counting). and i am noticing that my large pores which looked like an orange on my right cheek are almost gone and i don't know if that is from my face being swollen (i can't tell because i have naturally chubby cheeks or if the stuff is really working miracles for me...let's hope the latter is true). i put this crazy exfoliating mask on everynight and leave it on all night and she says i can do it more if i like, but oh my gosh i don't think i could handle more peeling, and she doesn't want me wearing makeup, etc. And the mask directions say "use 2 times a week and rinse off after 10 minutes" she has me doing it every night and all night long (12 hours or so) and the box says it may burn too, but it doesn't really burn just stings for awhile but she said she expects that it would do that to me because i am so sensitive right now. i called and left a message with her about the ipl stuff and she doesn't work today, so she will call me tomorrow and let me know if it is ok to do this while she is taking care of me. i am still taking dynacin, but hoping in a few months that i can slowly stop if i am under control. my acne right now is limited to a few cysts on my chin and milia and clogged pores. i will keep you posted about all of this and my journey, beginning on july 3rd. pray for me, i will do the same for you!!!!
-M
sorry for the long post

 
Old 06-30-2003, 06:33 PM   #12
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Hi again M

Haven't been around too much, but wanted to let you know I've been following and hoping that you are now on a better path.

I'm still having problems....still a bit scaly and irritated in that one area on my cheek. Looks pretty bad. I see the derm tomorrow....we'll see. Been pretty depressed. Hard to even figure out what to do next. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thinking of you

L
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Old 06-30-2003, 06:41 PM   #13
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Hey, Micheguns. Sounds like you have a solid, strategic plan to pursue now. I'm happy for you. If so many people seem to be agreeing on this, maybe it will indeed help you once and for all! I hope so.

Laur, thinking of you too. I hope you find something that helps too. It is the worst to feel so down and out when you've tried so many things.

Take care you two!

 
Old 06-30-2003, 10:00 PM   #14
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well,
i hope you do better L. I am still thinking of you and let me know what you are currently doing/trying, and what the derm. says. i am hopeful, but don't want to get my hopes up about all of this. my face right now is getting red papules all over it and i don't know why and my chin is breaking out in cysts (it must be the hormones). tomorrow i take prometrium and i am scared about that reaction. my oil is still pretty bad, it just isn't drying up at all. the stuff i use right now is really drying out my top layers of my skin and it is just that rolling skin i experienced on the tazorac. it is quite awful and ugly, but she said it is to prep my skin for the micro. but i thought that micro. did the exfoliating???? i don't know. i picked at a pimple on my forehead today and that was a mistake because now it is just a red ugly mess. i have been so good at not touching my face for a long time and i just couldn't help it (ARG!!!) anyway, i hope my face gets smoother and whiter (lol). these red and purple marks are scaring me, but i talked to my dad today about all this and what he will let me do and he said that i have to wait at least a month to start the light treatments to see how i react to the microderm. if the first couple of microdermabrasions go ok, he says, then i can proceed with the light treatment for the redness. i said that that sounded more than fair to me, since 5 is the magic number for the light treatments over 16 weeks and the microderm. takes 24 weeks. so, i guess waiting an extra month or two isn't really going to slow anything down at all. i will pretty much finish with treatment at the same time. hopefully i can have a merry christmas or at least a happy new year instead of another horrible year. i just wish school wasn't going to be hard. i know that starting in august again (especially when i can't use makeup) is going to be really hard because i am self conscience at school here. i have never been the one to get all dressed up for class (high heels, skirts etc.) i always wear the pony tail and comfy clothes. but now i feel as if i have to try to do something to help mask my face. ok, i will stop complaining now. i am going to try to brave the market in the morning because it has been really sunny here and i am not allowed in the sun right now because of so much exfoliation I am doing. so i am going to try to go early and get a few things and get home so i don't get greasy oily and i don't run into too many people, if any at all (i am hoping for the latter). good night and i hope to hear from you soon.
-M

 
Old 06-30-2003, 11:13 PM   #15
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Hey micheguns, you sure have been going through a lot lately! I hope it starts to turn around for you soon.

Be careful using so many products. 5 products in the AM and 5 in the evening? Sheesh...does this sound normal to you? It doesn't to me, and I wonder if your skin can even take all those products. And you mention "aloe and primrose oil, etc."...a lot of times those NATURAL additives are ones that irritate peoples skin. For example, I tried a Dermalogica gentle cleanser my wife had gotten last year, and I start getting these red patches on my cheeks. Something 'natural' in that cleanser was making my skin very unhappy.

Now I keep it very simple, and though I still get pimples like most people do, at least my face isn't red, irritated, and SORE (I am sure you can relate). Not trying to break your spirit, but I don't think 10 products each day is the answer.

Good luck, keep updating!

Kev

 
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