i just got into a huge fight with mom about my face and i just can't take it anymore! i am so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing what i see everyday. i'm tired of all the prescriptions and all the should do's and don'ts. i don't even wanna go back to school in the fall bcuz i look i so bad and no body understands and they yell at me. they just don't understand! i know they say not to put your life on hold but i can't ignore what i see. i look terrible and i can't help but be angry. "it's just a little acne"- no it's not! it's red, bumpy and scarred- it's my face and it's the first thing people see when they look at me. i wear make-up but you can still see it and it just looks worse bcuz you can see that i tried to cover it up. i'm tired of having to wear all the make-up. i'm tired of running from the camera. i'm tired of not being able to live my life. i'm tired of being so desperate i'll try anything. i'm tired of seeing me when i look in the mirror. i'm tired of trying to explain how i feel. i'm tired of seeing the doctor. i'm tired of all the meds just making my face worse. i'm tired of crying over it. i'm tired of nothing working. i'm tired of hiding. i'm just tired of it all and i can't do it anymore. it's ruining my life and no body understands just no one! no matter what i'll never look pretty and i'll never be pretty again bcuz this will never go away. what's the point? i'm just so tired of looking the way i do. i dread waking up in the morning. i just don't no what to do anymore. it's so hard to face the world and other people when you have to do it with an ugly face that you hate! i don't even know what to say anymore. this probably all sounds like a bunch of babble but i just don't know what else to do.
Ordinary, I know how you feel and I'm sure a lot of people who come on these boards do to, I've had days when I've looked in the mirror and just cried. It's also annoying when people say 'but at least you can cover it up with make-up' because they don't understand how horrid it is to have to cake your face in foundation before you can face going out.
All I can say is that I'm sure it will get better one day, there will be something that works right for you, until then just try to hang on and get on with everything as best you can, there are people having the same problems as you.
Hope you feel better
I know exactly how you feel, Ordinary, I'm just like you. People just don't understand, not even family. It is the hardest thing to face especially when you've tried everything under the sun and nothing seems to work, I often feel like there's no hope. I am the queen of hiding when it comes to company stopping by or just when I want to be totally alone and unseen, I'll take a long bath just to get away. Or I'll lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I get yelled at for hiding sometimes when someone pops over..and it obviously makes me more upset because they just do not understand how I feel and they make me feel like an idiot. It is the worst thing to worry about each day. I avoid going out, participating in any holiday events, I usually keep my head low when someone looks at me or hide behind my hair..even around my own family! And believe me, I know exactly what you mean about the make-up..makes me look horrible all over again. I literally look like a clown when I'm done and you can always see what I've tried covering up. I've had compliments where friends and strangers would say that I'm pretty..which helps although if they knew what was underneath they'd freak, but that's only when I'm guzzled up in all that cover-up stuff. So tired of it!! We just gotta hang in there and keep on searching for that cure and to not give up. Remember there are tons of people who are going through this exact same thing daily and we are never alone. Just pray for freedom like I do every night.
i'm no good at advising but i do know how you feel. in fact most ppl who visited this board can feel your pain.
i'm also sick of trying new stuff, having so much hope but at the end it never work as promised. i have had on accutane for a year and my derm promised me that i'll be free from acne once i completed the prescription becoz 95% of his clients achieved that and guess what, i was the remaining 5% who dont (lucky me :[...).
i'm getting ****** off whenever i see a new bump and really feel like the end of the world. and people just dont get it. "what's the big deal?" they'd say it.
i'm tired of having to make up my mind for creams, pills, and stuff. "should i change to this cream or should i remain...", "should i give up on this antibiotics and go for that one? but stop, maybe if i continue for another few months it will work? maybe it won't, that would be a waste of time! maybe the new antibiotics works better? maybe it will have initial breakout..." and the list goes on. i'm tired of not knowing what to try anymore. everybody say "try this, it works" but it's not!..sigh
but at the end of the day, i just gotta keep hopes alive.
thank you to everyone who replied to my post. i no outta of all people who would understand and that's why i come here when i have to vent. i know i'm not alone and i feel so bad that so many ppl are goin thru the same thing. i'm just so tired of it. you know? i don't know what else to do. but thank you for responding i really do appreciate it.