First of all Id just like to say Thankyou to each and everyone of you guys for your posts, I can relate to so many of them and it gives me hope & encouragement... I have been reading posts in this forum for the past week & finally I decided to join and make my own first contribution.
Heres my story:
I was 19 when diagnosed by my derm that I had severe cystic acne. He put me straight on accutane, long story short, after the 6 months of treatment I was all clear. Xcept for damn redness & blemishes (Derm- "Will go away within 6 - 12 months") 4 months after completing the accutane treatment zits started to re-appear, 9 months later, I was nearly back to as bad as it first was. Im now 21 & am on a second course of accutane, currently 2.5 months in, having the same results thus far as I did the first course. No doubt the acne wil come back again :-(
Now time to vent:
I am so sick of what acne does to me. Its like a prison, a cage. I cannot be myself, I cannot be confident, I cannot find a reason to smile. All I want is to be able to be me, but how can I do that when this freaking disease wont leave me alone. When you cant hold eye contact with anyone for more than 2 seconds without having to look away or down... I just want a 'normal' life! UGHGHHHG its so frustrating! I would just be repeating what so many of you have already said If I stated any more examples of the various psychological effects acne has on us.
So yeh I have joined this forum because I need you guys, I havent told anyone how I feel about my acne, Its so damn annoying when you cant help but dwell on it all day everyday... One day, oh one day it will be better, wont it? PLEEASEE TELL ME IT WILL!
My 2 older brothers both had severe acne, went on accutane for 1 course and were fixed up! Im not so lucky...:-(
I wont to try the idea of SweetJades, gettin rid of the carbs etc. Also having vit B5 regularly, is it OK to take B5 while on accutane?
Its going to be such a sacrifice for me to not eat certain things.. pasta, OHH no I cant live without my paasta!! :-( BUT I MUST, Id rather have no acne than enjoy my foooods, i think... ?
Well I appreciate your reading my very first post, hopefully sometime in the future I can post: "Finally I am cured!"... Wishful thinking?
hello beaver82. sorry to hear you are so upset about things. i understand exactly everything you said. I went on roaccutane and now my skin is clear, however after about 3 months of being off roaccutane i did have a relapse and my acne returned. i went back to my Gp who said that antibiotic type medication that had not worked for me before i took roaccutane, would be strong enough now. Apparently your system is more sensitive and responsive to treatment that probably didnt work previously. I was sceptical when he put me back on the same medication i had taken the year before, i thought if it didn't work then then i hardly think its gonna work now. But i was wrong, it cleared my acne and now im not on any medication. I think roaccutane was the best thing that happened to me. I know what you mean about not being able to look at people in the eye, it was wierd to hear you say that cause i still cant now and i don't know why. I dont have acne anymore (touchwood it stays away) but i still feel like that same old person sometimes who avoids eye contact and feels inferior to everyone else. I have a boyfriend now and he said the other day, you can never hold eye contact why? I couldnt say why cause i havnt told him about my acne. Good luck with things i hope they work for you too. x
hey beaver...i've never been on accutane and i hope i don't have to. however, ive heard ppl say that going on other meds after accutane is a good way to keep clear for good. Maybe, like gemmie suggested, an antibiotic could help you after this course. Or if you prefer you could go on a topical. Im on tazorac now and its virtually "topical accutane"; i think it is potent enough to keep you clear post-accutane if you're willing to take the time to deal with topicals. All the best to ya
Welcome to the forum, I just joined too. I keep coming back here because I am obsessed about my recent current breakout. Plus it is comforting to know I am not alone. Nobody can truely understand the emotional pain severe acne sufferers go through!
I can totally relate to what you said about holding eye contact. I do that too! That is so wierd, I never really thought about it being directly related to my acne. It must be a sub-conscious self esteem thing. "If I don't look directly at you then you wont see how horrible and ugly I look". (?) I have done that quite a bit in my life and it even bothers ME - and makes me uncomfortable - like - why can't I look this person in the eye??!! Anyway...
I am 34 and my acne began in high school but it became severe in my college years - age 19-20-21. I was miserable most of the time through college - a time that should be for freedom and fun, learning and discovery. I think I was 23 or 24 when a derm FINALLY put me on accutane (no other creams or pills worked in the slightest, I think I tried them all). The accutane did wonders and my skin totally cleared... for a while. (I was ecstatic)! I can't remember exactly... it was maybe a year later when the acne started to return. Went on accutane again a few years later (age 27 or so) - after going through a few more derms and more useless Rx's. My derms were so reluctant to put me on accutane - they always wanted to try other things first, even though I'd tried everything for years with no results. Well, the accutane had the same effect this time. Cleared me for about a year. Since then I have been off and on different things, trying different cleansers. Last derm had me on Plexion cleanser, Klaron lotion and Benzamycin. I have had pretty clear phases and also pretty bad phases. It's like a roller coaster ride that never ends. When it's pretty clear I don't think much about it and I live pretty normally (I am then generally happy and outgoing). When it's bad I get very depressed and don't want to leave the house (like now) - and I am moody and crabby.
Stick it out with the Accutane and talk to your Dr. about what is OK and not OK to use while on it. My interest has been peaked about new possibilities for treatment by reading the posts here, such as the "Acne Cure book" routine and the Smoothbeam Laser. I am going to check into those further. I can't really mess with my diet or vitamins right now because I'm pregnant. Anyway, hang in there... and welcome to the club we all wish we didn't belong to!