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Old 08-20-2003, 10:05 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UK
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dbarker348 HB User
Unhappy I'm so unhappy

Hey everyone,

I'm just basically looking for somewhere to rant lol. I just got home from food shopping (and having my passport photos taken) and I feel really unhappy.

I'm meant to be going to San Francisco early September to see a friend but I keep putting off getting the ticket more and more thinking "My skin will get better soon....." and it's taking forever. I have loads of redmarks from previous zits too - thats the biggest problem at the moment. I'm going to end up leaving it too late to get a ticket

I REALLY want to go but I don't feel confident at all about my skin. My friend over there is telling me I've got to come, and I've got 95% of me saying I've got to go too. But then there's 5% of me that's saying "You can't go with skin like yours. You'll embarass yourself and your friend."

On top of this, I feel so empty and tired because I've hardly eaten anything for two weeks because I'm so scared my skin will get worse if I eat something. I'm so hungry but I'm too scared to eat. All I've eaten the past two days are a couple of apple and lots of fish - but I'm always empty.

I just wish I could be normal and eat whatever and have perfect skin. My friends are always eating bad stuff and they have great skin. I can't imagine having good skin again. If I look in a mirror I think "Wow my skin is not too bad today!" and then I say to myself "But compare it to how your skin would look with no red marks or zits".

I'm so tired of all of this crap - I have absolutely no confidence. Thanks acne.

Dave

BTW, the passport photos started all this. They actually aren't too bad but I can see all my red marks especially around my chin (probably because I know where they are).

 
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Old 08-20-2003, 10:23 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: james island, sc, usa
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pearpen27 HB User
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Hey Dave:

Please don't get depressed over your skin. I know this is difficult and I know how you feel. You probably haven't seen your friend in a while if (s)he is in SF and you want to make a good impression.

I know how you feel cause a few years ago I was living in SF and I reconnected with a friend I had gone to college with, but with whom I lost track after graduation. Four years went by without us seeing eachother and we somehow started emailing eachother and then before I knew plans were made for me to fly from SF to SC to visit.

Not only was my skin bad but I had put on weight. Well before making the trip I told my friend that I had to be up front with her: I was having a major breakout (I was in a transition of jobs and not only was my face broken out but I was getting hives) and that I had put on some weight since we last saw eachother.

It didn't matter. I went for my visit and we had a great time together--- like no time had passed. Six months later we were living together. That was almost 4 years ago and now we have a house, a dog, a life together. It is wonderful. I have lost all the weight, started running marathons, working out climbing walls and weight lifting and though my face still breaks out, I work to take care of it and I have a wonderful support system at home to help me. I am in graduate school. I am the happiest I have ever been.

My point--- go see your friend. Your friends love you no matter what. Plus, there are some really great skin care products in SF, which are probably cheaper than in the UK. Be honest with your friend if you want before going on the trip. Tell her/him about your concerns and anxiety. I promise you that it is going to be ok.

Just think if I didn't make the flight because of my skin. I would not have the life I have now. I ususally don't open up this much on chat boards but you seem so sweet and cute--- I don't want you to make any mistakes you may regret later.

 
Old 08-20-2003, 10:43 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: canada
Posts: 200
Product_Queen HB User
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Wow Pearpen27 that was exactly what I was going to say...And Dave, don't think that everyone in SF is going to have perfect skin, everyone has imperfections and nobody is perfect....I used to want to hide as well but then I thought I am just missing out on life and numerous opportunities...Life is so short so you should enjoy it because you can while many others can't go beyond their hospital beds being crippled by life threatening illnesses....Also, if you feel down you should do things that will make yourself feel good about yourself like buy some new clothes, get funky highlights, the last thing people will notice is your skin....Being honest with your friend is the best thing you can do and I am sure they will understand....You should eat if you are hungry and if you worry it will make you break out its not the food that is making you break out its the worry about breaking out that will be the culprit...For myself stress is a HUGEEEEEE factor...Good Luck and hope you don't miss out on this wonderful opportunity....Ciao..

 
Old 08-20-2003, 11:31 AM   #4
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Location: UK
Posts: 132
dbarker348 HB User
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Awww your posts mean a lot to me - thankyou!

My friend is the one person in my life that knows exactly what I feel about my skin and they say they don't care... but my brain is telling me they will get scared as soon as they see me!

They were getting really frustrated with me today because I keep changing my mind

BTW I've just had some chicken fried in some kind of Tikka sauce (you know... the sauce that you just cook with but don't eat). I realised after I'd cooked it that two chicken breasts weren't enough lol oh and I kinda burnt the whole of the pan! (I'm not normally this disastrous!)

Dave

 
Old 08-20-2003, 12:12 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Philadelphia
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sedulous HB User
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Hi Dave-
Just wanted to chime in and agree with the others, and tell you to go, go, go. You know you want to go, so stop letting that 5% insinuate so much doubt and insecurity into your thoughts. Don't let something you hate throw up such large barriers in life. I know it's hard to focus on things outside of acne, but life is so much bigger and better than skin problems. Don't think San Francisco has never seen bad skin. It's a big city, full of all kinds of people, and you'll love it.
Focus on the positive, tell that 5% to **** off, and have a great time with your friend!

 
Old 08-20-2003, 01:41 PM   #6
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dbarker348 HB User
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Thank so much everyone! You've made me a lot happier tonight (and closer to making the right decision).

Dave

 
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