Please Help My Daughter! - ADD / ADHD Message Board

Howitt44 · 11-20-2003, 12:14 PM

I need some advice! I have a daughter who is 17. She is intelligent, sweet, and the joy of my life. However, for the past couple of years she has told me that she has this brain "thing", that her mind never stops. Then this last year, I have noticed some other symptoms. She has become a lot more social (which is a good thing, because she was very shy as a child), she has had some trouble sleeping, some rebellion (which I know is common for teens, but this is out of character for her), still talks about her brain never resting, is afraid of boredom and being alone, her grades have fallen some, some relationship problems (a couple of boys that have liked her has said she is too high strung),
has too be on the go all the time, can't watch a movie all the way through, and several other things I can't remember right now.

She talks to me about her feelings and we are considering a counselor. She is agreeable to it and even feels she might have ADD. She is a senior in high school this year and she has the opportunity to go to a great college, but she needs to be a little proactive and apply for some scholarships. She just doesn't seem motivated to do anything unless its talk on the phone, computer, or going in her car. I know,, you might say, this is typical teenage stuff. But is it normal for someone to change so much in a couple of years?. Her good friend (who she is considering rooming with in college) is BORING to her. She wants constant entertainment. She also cannot stand for any silence in a conversation so she inputs anything silly. Its like she's in high gear constantly. I would appreciate any help with this. When I call her on these things, she complains I nag her all the time. I don't want to do that, I want to be encouraging, but she has to show some responsibility. She also said she doesn't want to grow up, she wants to be 5 years old again... Please help!!

szarkam · 11-20-2003, 04:49 PM

My girls are little so not sure how to deal with a teenage, but some of what you mentioned does sound like "teenage stuff"
I think the counselor is a great idea, esp. if she is agreeable to it - it sure beats medications.
GOOD LUCK

* Free ~ Spirit * · 11-20-2003, 10:35 PM

Well some good news is ADD starts before age 7, so if this stuff just recently started within the past couple years it isn't ADD.

It could be normal teenage stuff, it might be a problem with anxiety, you mentioned she's "high strug" and her mind never stops. These can be symptoms of anxiety.

I think you should take szarkams advice and have your daugher speak with a counselor.

karalm23 · 11-21-2003, 09:27 PM

Hi, I'm 17 and a senior in high school, so I thought I might be able to help. Actually, as I was reading your post, I noticed that I have a lot in common with your daughter.

I was diagnosed with ADD when I was a sophomore in high school, after a rather tumultuous year in school. I can definitely relate to the mind never stopping thing. That is one of hte major problems that I have had that caused me to seek help. It's like there are so many things going on in my head and at such a fast speed, that it is overwhelming. I used to come home exhausted every day from school, just from thinking so hard. I also have a constant monologue going on in my head, kind of like a really fast paced commentary on the world around me. It is very frustrating. I was also very shy as a child, and I have always felt that I didn't want to grow up- I think I have said that very thing, that I wanted to be 5 years old again.

Also, just a thought- while the symptoms must be present before the age of seven, it may not cause significant problems until later in life. In my case, I was able to compensate for my very poor organizational skills and inattention because I had very supportive parents and was never any trouble behaviorally in school. I was very quiet and compliant, and I worked hard, so I managed to do fairly well until the work became a lot more complex. However, my self-esteem and confidence suffered a lot, although at the time I didn't know why. It wasn't until I started researching the disorder that I realized how it had affected all aspects of my life. So anyway, I would consider getting it checked out.

Another thought- while I was being tested, the psychologist had some difficulty differentiating between ADD and anxiety, because the symptoms overlap.I was also somewhat depressed, which can also cause these symptoms. So it is important to not rule out these possibilities. However, in my case it was decided that the anxiety and depression were a result of the ADD, not the other way around.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing- a counselor is a good person to start sorting these things out. That is how it all started for me- and it seems I was facing many of the same difficulties as your daughter. I hope I have helped in some way. Good luck to you and your daughter.

jsmcleod · 11-24-2003, 09:04 AM

Definitely see a counselor. It could be so many things. From teenage angst to manic/depression. You should have her evaluated by a professional who knows how to tell the difference.