GrouchyOne

Hi,

I just wanted to say hi and say that it feels good to find a group of people that can understand what I am going through. I am 31 and was recently diagnosed with ADD. For years, I always thought that I was a failure because I couldn't do things that everyone else could. I have a great job and lots of great friends but, my procrastination, my inability to focus when needed, and my impulsivity were destroying my self esteem; I honestly thought that I must be an idiot because I couldn't control these things, even though it appeared that everyone else around me could.

Probably like a lot of you, I grew up hearing about how much "potential" I had but, how it was a shame that I was "too lazy" to realize this "potential". I had good marks in school, and was able to grasp ideas faster than people around me but, for reasons I didn't understand at the time, I was constantly being passed over for promotions. One supervisor told me that I was brilliant but, my lack of attention to detail would result in the premature end of my career! It was maddening because no matter how much or how hard I tried, I couldn't focus long enough to do things properly or on time.

For the longest time, I wanted to be "normal". Every time I was with a group of people, I would feel like an outsider; I might blurt out something, or I might spaceout and these things would result in everyone around me looking at me like I was from another planet. Eventually, I learned to conform to what everyone expected of me but, at the end of each day, I would be so drained from maintainning this façade that I would be completely out of it. For years, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't do these simple things that everyone else around me could and was ashamed of myself.

Since I was diagnosed last month, I have been taking Effexor and Dexydrene. I'm starting Wellbutron today and I'm noticing some changes. Reading your posts here gives me hope because now I realize that I'm not alone. When I tell people close to me of my ADHD, many tell me that "I do the same things so I must also have ADD! *in a sarcastic tone*". It's tough because most people still think that ADHD only affects children and that ADHD doesn't exist in adults. Seeing other people here talking about how they cope gives me hope that one day I'll be able to live a relatively normal life. So, please keep posting and sharing your stories; you never know who you may inspire with your everyday successes!