A teenager speaks out for parents - ADD / ADHD Message Board

MissEnlightened · 11-27-2003, 06:35 PM

Hello,

I am an ADD daughter of frustrated parents. I used to take Strattera and Concerta. Now I'm taking Adderall XR. My grades have always been a rollercoaster---sometimes I'm passing a few classes, and most of the time I'm failing. It is a constant cycle ever since 1st grade. The same thing ever year: Doesn't pay attention, Seems withdrawn, doesn't do homework, doesn't go to bed on time, doesn't get to school on time. And somehow I pull it off and do just enough to pass to the next grade level. We have our moments when we can totally surprise everyone with our creativity, love, and effort. Parents---what is totally crucial to our success in school is love and attachment. What I mean is I found out that I will do anything for a parent or teacher when I know that I will be rewarded for my efforts.....the ADD mind doesn't always 'get' how numbers (grades) are the reward. When the teacher is positive and is flexible with your learnings styles it can make a world of difference. When you motivate with positive reinforcement that is something that will put more pep in our step than any ADD med on the market. And don't be thinking "Oh we've tried it once, and it didn't work." Trust me, it might not always show immediatley on the outside, but inside your self-esteem is rising and you feel happier....and soon when you are happy inside and feel like you are loved and understood.....the results are enough to blow your mind away.
Just remember that all AD/HD meds are just chemicals that carry out their purpose very well....keep you on task, alert, complete tasks. But don't forget that no drug on earth can take away will power, the power to choose.

I found this off a website about ADHD teens:

A Model for Promoting Prosocial Behavior
Perhaps the most critical factor influencing the development of prosocial behavior is attachment to at least one prosocial adult who believes in the child and provides unconditional acceptance and support. Hawkins explains that prosocial behavior results when children bond with prosocial adults and peers and adopt their beliefs and values. Conversely, antisocial behavior results if children bond to antisocial individuals, such as gang members, and adopt their beliefs and values instead.
Many experts agree that attachment to even one caring, responsible - adult whether a teacher, administrator, bus driver, custodian, relative, or community member - can help children become prosocial. A study of the effects of remediation on delinquency showed that the child's bond with the tutor affected school attitude and behavior more than improved grades.
Children seek to imitate and gain approval from their role models, whether good or bad. Once children bond with antisocial peer groups, their behavior becomes more difficult to change. Schools, families, and communities can work together to ensure that all children are cared for and have prosocial adults to emulate, thus assuring the transmission of prosocial beliefs and values to the next generation.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post!

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.

- Lauren Bacall

free~spirit · 11-27-2003, 06:43 PM

Nice post!

r and r mom · 11-27-2003, 06:50 PM

Miss Enlightened! You rock! you sound like a very mature and soulful young adult! I teach 8th grade and sometimes in the daily grind it is easy to forget that some of my ADD students aren't doing it (whatever they do besides what I've asked them to do) on purpose to make me mad, and that I need to stop and think (because I can) before I speak. Thanks for that great reminder!
You rock!

MissEnlightened · 11-28-2003, 12:59 PM

I think parents and teachers forget that AD/HD is a blessing. 'ADD is not something you beat, it's something you USE to achieve your goals.'---Brent747
In a demanding environment like school of course we are not going to cooperate. The most annoying thing a parent can do is nag us to do our work on time and tell us that privileges will be taken away if we don't perform. Why does it not work? Because physically our body starts to tense up and we become angry. And how is that going to compell us to do our very best work? We will probably do a slap together job and turn it in and make a bad grade. Teachers this is where your job is important.......knowing that we are having problems with parents, you must not give up on us! We know that teachers are not our parents and cannot yell at us if we don't turn in work. We can just stretch our legs and celebrate because the only thing we have to do is look like we are paying attention. Teachers don't realize that they have most of the control on how well we do in their class. The simplest things like smiling and high-fives, if you see one of us drifting make the effort and have one of those heart-to-heart conversations. The most important thing of all---Positive, Positive, Positive!!

" A word as to the education of the heart. We don't believe that this can be imparted through books; it can only be imparted through the loving touch of the teacher."
Cesar Chavez

" No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy, the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure."
Emma Goldman

szarkam · 11-28-2003, 05:51 PM

Ever think about public speaking as a career :-)