Ok, so I am sitting here hating life. It's New Years Day and I spent last night and today alone. I hate being alone, but then I hate being around people, too. I have tried all the medications on the market and wonder what "works" really means.
First of all, I HATE certain noises. The neighbor's dog barking, someone cracking their gum, someone's nose whistling when they breathe, high pitched voices, popcorn eaters in a movie theater, and a million others. These things can make me go insane after awhile. I avoid people mostly for this reason.
I am overbearing and CAN'T shut my damn mouth no matter how hard I try. Most of the time, I don't even know what I am saying and many times it's definitely not the RIGHT thing. No one wants to be around me.
I can't maintain eye contact and can't listen, either. I rarely have any motivation to do anything and will try to find the quickest and easiest thing nearby to focus on (i.e. puzzle, computer, etc.). I am irritable all the time (usually because of the external stimulation that is always annoying me).
I have learned to compensate for my inefficiencies and distractability for the most part. I am very skilled at what I do (I am a product planner...go figure), but move to a new state and company every 3 or 4 years.
At 38 years old, I am so incredibly lonely. I don't have a single, solitaty person to call and just say "hi" (other than my family, but they are all drug addicts and ADD, too, and it is hard to deal with). I have really never had any friends. Or at least, not for very long. I am a total insecure, "my way or the highway" ***** in relationships, so they don't last long, either.
I don't want to be this way. I hate it. I am very attractive and intelligent, but I don't even like being around me. I want to go out dancing or go skiing and I definitely miss intimacy. But no one to do it with. Having friends requires effort and I just can't seem to do it. Like sending Christmas cards, just can't do it.
So, does anyone else have these types of problems and has the medications worked at all? I hear about improved concentration, but I am more concerned about the social difficulties. Please let me know. I am desperate here.
As you may or may not know, ADD is misdiagnosed A LOT. Just because someone shows the symptoms doesnt in any way mean they have ADD.
Sounds to me like you definantly have some major problems (not ADD!!) please find a good therapist and get some treatments. Go every week if you have to.
Don't just let a doctor blow you off by giving you a diagnosis after a few sessions. You need ONGOING treatment to get accurate dx and treatment!!!!
How old were you when you were diagnosed ADD?
WHY did the doc think it was ADD?
When did the symptoms you describe start bothering you?
Just to clarify, I'm not saying that you absolutely dont have ADD (you might, you might not). I am saying though, that it is possible that you are dealing with ADD and a co-occuring issue or maybe that you are not dealing with ADD at all, but rather you are just dealing with something that has some of the symptoms of ADD.
"It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!" --Andrew Jackson
Last edited by * Free ~ Spirit *; 01-02-2004 at 12:07 PM.
I think that to some extent, medication can help improve some social problems that might develop from ADD, such as allowing you to pay attention to people better and perhaps boosting your self confidence. However, I also believe that social problems found in people with ADD are also psychological and stem from a life of not fitting in or being criticized for being themselves. After spending a life of knowing something was different with me, but not being able to put my finger on it, I convinced myself that I didn't fit in and often found myself avoiding social situations. I certainly know the feeling of not enjoying being alone, but also hating being around people at the same time! It's annoying, eh?
Hi Carolyn, I certainly can sympathize with you...you sound a lot like me! I can't stand people a lot of the time and avoid social situations like parties,etc. I can talk to people mostly on a one-to-one basis, but believe me, I can't stand to be around any one person for too long, my own family included. My husband knows I'm like this but loves me anyway; he just knows that I need my space. We've been married for almost 24 years. He's told me that he's always known that there was something different about me, but neither of us knew what that was until four years ago when I saw a psychologist who diagnosed me as having ADD. I've had trouble with things as long as I can remember, such as bad organizational skills (I have a lot of clutter), constantly losing things, inability to concentrate, on and on. Noises have always bothered me...flourescent lights humming, a high-pitched sound the tv makes, people cracking their gum, people chewing their food (I can't stand people eating popcorn in the theater either). It's pretty bad when even your husband gets to be annoying with his noises. I don't know if he's always been like this and I've never noticed before or if it's just started up in the last few years, but I bet he burps at least a couple hundred times a day! I can always predict that he's going to burp as soon as he gets out of bed, as soon as he walks up the steps from downstairs, when he walks in our room, etc. He just does it so much, and it just makes me want to scream. Also, I can't stand his nose blowing. He does it a lot and it's SO loud! I've mentioned these things to my psychologist, but all she more or less says to do is to make a little joke out of it and laugh it off. That doesn't work for me. I'm like you and wish I could do something to make these things not bother me. I've even said to my husband already (and he agrees) that maybe I should live alone if things bother me so much. I really like being alone a lot but don't know if I'd want it that way all the time. I'm also easily angered and frustrated and end up crying when I try to do something and can't do it. I will be watching this thread to see if anyone has any suggestions for us. I wish I could help you. I'm trying to figure out my life too. You're lucky that you can work. I don't know how you do it as I would assume that you have to be around people on the job. I'm 47 and have only managed to work a total of about five years in my whole lifetime. I don't collect disability or anything, and it's really hard for us to pay the bills. I hope there is an answer for you and me and others like us.
John, CAPD, huh? I guess I learn something new everyday. I never heard of that before, but I will certainly do an internet search on it and read up on it. It sure would be nice if I would be able to find some kind of medication to allow me to tolerate things more. I would do that, even though I'm already on Wellbutrin for depression and Adderall for the ADD, amongst other things not psychologically related (Albuterol for asthma and Prilosec for GERD). It would be so nice not to have to take any medication at all, but well, what do you do when you have these things. I know the Wellbutrin helps me, but I'm still trying to decide if the Adderall does much for me. I wish I wouldn't have to take a stimulant medication because I also have Tourette Syndrome, and when I take the Adderall it seems to make the tics worse. I've also tried Dexadrine and Ritalin, same effect. I'm really beginning to wonder if there's anything that will help me with the ADD. It really gets depressing. Since taking stimulants, I haven't noticed that it decreases my heightened sensitivity to auditory input. I never did really understand the reasons for stimulants helping a person with ADD, since it seems like I'm already overstimulated, but I'm trying them out. Thanks so much for that information, and I am going to do a search on that right now. I love these boards!
I have just as much trouble with noise (and social settings and do like solitude)! The TV, for instance, can drive me crazy because I can't shut it out and I can't stand to listen to the garbage on most/all channels either. It's like being trapped. Such noises seem to continually interrupt my thoughts so much that I can't think coherently and that makes me mad!
I have found the following: if I get really mad, I go for a good long exhausting run. I feel much better afterwards and it lasts quite a few hours. If I can't go running, I do 20 or 30 push-ups or I skip rope for 2-3 minutes to dissipate the frustration and anger. That helps for 30 minutes or so and makes it easier to concentrate.
I have also noticed in the past that when I took dexedrine (10 mg/day), it calmed me right down and I was not so much bothered by noise anymore. I could still hear the noises, but they did not interrupt and/or displace my thoughts to the extent that I could not work.
Mandevu, you are quite intuitive. Your prescription for exercise is right on target! As you have figured out, exercise will increase neurotransmitters in the brain much like the stimulants do thereby decreasing irritability, etc.
Yomama, the fact that you take albuterol is significant even from an ADD standpoint. The hypoxia that results from inadequately treated asthma (& other chronic obstructive lung diseases) can cause (or worsen) ADD symptoms. The albuterol you need for your lungs probably makes you more irritable. Hopefully, you are using a long acting form (like Serevent) and aren't needing to use a "rescue" inhaler very often. If you're using a rescue inhaler regularly, your physician needs to know so that your medication regime can be altered. Do Not Change what you are taking without talking to him first. If you're not seeing a definite improvement from the Adderall, talk to your md about discontinuing it.
John, Man, you sure do seem to know a lot about this sort of thing...wish I would! But I'm learning! I'm glad that I mentioned the asthma if you think there's a correlation there with that and the ADD symptoms. I've been using an inhaler since 1986 when I was in the hospital with pneumonia and found out then that I have asthma. My doctor put me on Theodur and Alupent. I forget why, but I stopped taking the Theodur on my own. Since our insurance has gotten worse and will only cover certain types of prescription drugs, I've recently switched from Alupent to Albuterol. I don't take anything at all like Serevent; I just have the rescue inhaler. So is it really that important to use an inhaler like Serevent? I probably use my rescue inhaler once a day or at least every other day because I usually have some little wheezy spell, and sometimes the wheezing is worse than others...not usually real bad though. If you think it's that important to use another inhaler along with the rescue inhaler, then I think I will have to talk to my doctor the next time that I go back there, which will be in another couple of weeks when I go in for my monthly visit to get the Adderall prescription. Thanks so much for enlightening me! I feel like I've been kept in the dark for so long and am learning a lot from people on the internet.
Between now and when you see your md, look for a correlation between the use of your inhaler and your intolerance to noise and other ADD symptoms. They may not be related, but they may be.
Even if you notice a connection, do not stop using your inhaler without talking to your doctor first! Tell your doctor if you see a correlation. Also, tell your doctor how often you are using your rescue inhaler. He may want to try to control your asthma better using a longer acting albuterol inhaler and/or inhaled steriods. On those, you may not need to use a rescue inhaler.
I'm also 38 and in the morning I take my first ever to help with exactlly everything you mentioned in your post plus some more. I found out I have above average signs of ADD 1 month ago. I know nothing about it period. I could share all that happens along my new journey. Really anybody that wants. I'm kinda excited and scared crapless but we'll see. My first 1/2 pill of Adderol in the morning and 1 at 1 or 2:00. And good luck to you all.