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Old 01-13-2004, 02:00 PM   #1
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TuckeredOutMom HB User
3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Hi I am new here
I am a newbie as of today and I am here because I feel very alone too. As I type this I have my 3.5 year old attached to me as that is how the whole day goes. I feel very alone and depressed with my daughters diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. I am a stay at home Mom and I deal with it all by myself for 12 hours a day. My family is not supportive at all and they do not help me in anyway.
My hubby and I were married 10 years before we were blessed by Faith. We were an infertile couple and we tried all the fertility treatments and they never worked. Finally after 10 years we adopted our miracle baby and now to find out that ADHD is making her this way has just knocked our feet right out from under us.
My daughter started Straterra (sp?) yesterday and we are praying this works.
We tried Adderall and she had a bad reaction along with Wellbutrin. My daughter does not fit into preschools for very long and it is very hard for me physically and mentally to get by day to day. Faith goes to bed at 8pm every night and she does not actually fall asleep until 1am or 2am so hubby and I have no time together at all.
This is a very hard disease to deal with and I am trying hard to deal with it but sometimes I wish I could just wake up and it was all just a bad dream.
Are ther state programs to help as I would think this is a disability??
Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!
Autumn

 
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Old 01-13-2004, 04:28 PM   #2
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Strattera is not approved for children that young. A child this young should not be medicated for ADHD. Chances are most likely that she was misdiagnosed with ADHD.

Many things can cause ADHD symptoms. Do your daughters birth parents have a history of any physical or mental illness? Do you even have access to that info?

How old was she when you adopted her? Do you know her personal history?

Emotional problems (from being adopted, even) can cause ADHD and ODD symptoms.

Medicating for ADHD at such a young age is generally not a good choice. There are many non-RX treatments available if indeed this is ADHD.

What tests were done before this diagnosis was given?
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Old 01-13-2004, 05:18 PM   #3
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Just curious...how do you make your 3 1/2 year old swallow a capsule? What problems do you have with your daughter other than her clinging to you all day.
In my opinion, 3 1/2 years is way too young to be put on meds. Our child psychologist told us that children can indeed "outgrow" ADHD behaviours by age 5. Most doctors don't even recommend testing before age 6 since. I would strongly recommend that you reconsider you decision. I know it's tough, I went through it myself. Like you, I also had an infertility problem for 10 years and I wanted nothing more than a child. I finally got pregnant after 10 years of trying, but nothing has prepared me of what was to come. I have also been a stay at home mom for four years and dealt with it by myself - 24/7. And I must admit it was a time I did not like at all. I felt very lonely, drained and missed my job and wanted nothing more than to have a break from my child. My ADHD son is 8 years old now. Raising an ADHD child is extremely exhausting. But I had to tell myself over and over, that I wanted a child for so many years, now I better deal with the given situation. You may have a tough road ahead of you, especially when additional problems will occur once your child attends school, if she indeed has ADHD. But keep in mind that you are not alone. There are thousands of us out there who have to go through this. We just need to do this for our children.

Last edited by Palms1; 01-13-2004 at 05:56 PM.

 
Old 01-14-2004, 05:36 AM   #4
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Hi, we also had trouble getting our son to bed, it also took hours. Come to find out wheat was his problem. We took wheat from his diet and he began to sleep 11-13 hrs per night, with out getting up once! Try getting a hold of a book called the ADD & ADHD Diet. It was wonderful. Alot of work, but very well worth it!!! (the book came from a health food store.) Is your child a carb craver? Amie

 
Old 01-14-2004, 05:56 AM   #5
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TuckeredOutMom
This is a very hard disease to deal with and I am trying hard to deal with it but sometimes I wish I could just wake up and it was all just a bad dream.
Hi TuckeredOut Mom! Welcome! I can TOTALLY understand your overwhelmed feelings. I think most of us Moms of ADHD children feel that way at times.

You need some help.

Although your daughter has trouble with preschool, I'd keep trying to find one. You need the break. I wonder if she is developmentally delayed at all? If so, she'd qualify for state programs that she can't get "kicked out" of.

Can you afford a babysitter a few hours a week during the daytime so that you can get some time to yourself? It sounds like you desperately need some time to recharge your batteries. You'll be more patient with your daughter if you're not feeling so drained.

Let us know how the straterra works out.

I'm sending you a cyber *hug* and prayer....

 
Old 01-14-2004, 10:40 AM   #6
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Coopersmom HB User
Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

TuckeredoutMom, I too have an adopted child with ADHD. I can understand your feelings. Please remember to follow your heart when it comes to your daughter and her treatment. No one here should judge what you are doing for her!

You might try a Montessorri preschool for her, that worked well for my son because he could wander around the class as much as he wanted. And he still learned. I also agree with having her checked for allergies, I have a friend whose son is very allergic to wheat which caused those types of symptoms.

Another great book is "Driven to Distraction" and "Answers to Driven to Distraction." I believe the author is Edward Howell (sp?) They really give a great understanding of the way your childs brain is working to help you understand her ways.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Vanessa

 
Old 01-14-2004, 01:01 PM   #7
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

I just wanted to say you're not alone. Your story is very similar to mine. We tried to conceive and finally were blessed with the adoption of our first son. We've had him since birth and he is a wonderful little boy, but he is SO challenging! He is almost 3 and needs constant attention. I don't know if it's ADHD or not, but he can't focus on one thing for more than a minute or two and independent play rarely occurs. He hits his baby brother nonstop and laughs about it and he doesn't seem to have any impulse control at all. I spend all day chasing him so he doesn't hurt himself or someone else. He doesn't seem angry just very, very active and aggressive. He is in preschool one day a week and they have lots of difficulties with him, too. So far they haven't kicked him out. Thank goodness! We can't get babysitters to come more than once. Play dates are out of the question. It can get very lonely and frustrating and it makes me question my parenting skills. Anyway, long story short, you're not alone. Given our adoption story, I really feel like our son was meant to be with us. His BF had a history of domestic abuse and I can't imagine what might have happened if our son had remained with him. It's tough, I know, but hang in there.

 
Old 01-14-2004, 04:11 PM   #8
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Dear Tuckered Out.
I understand how hard you tried for your child - I have 2 adopted daughters and my almost 7 yr old has been doing very well on becalm'd. I really think 3/5 is too young for you to just take your child as ADHD. Have you had an extensive physical and bloodwork done? I would try changing her diet little by little and see if taking away things like dairy, sugars, wheat etc help. It won't be an easy process, but will be well worth it, if it turns out to be a food allergy.

No matter what - we wish you the best and remember we are here for you to vent. Best of Luck.

 
Old 01-14-2004, 04:52 PM   #9
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Moops -
ADHD children do not usually like hurting others as you say your son does. They are not usually aggressive.. purposely hurting people for no reason etc etc. Since your son was adopted you may not have a great deal of history on his birth parents. You do know that his dad had a drinking problem, which could indicate that he was mentally ill, bipolar disorder causes those types of symptoms in children (the symptoms you mention your son has) and is genetic. Reactive attatchment disorder is always a possibility for adoptive children. Did you get your son the very first day of his birth? Where you there at the hospital? or was he all alone for the first 3 days of his life? This wouldnt seem like a big deal, but in some cases these children end up with reactive attatchment disorder.
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Old 01-14-2004, 05:00 PM   #10
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

When you got your sona dn how much ou know about his birthparents is key to what could be wrong with him, please try to obtain as much info as possible.

 
Old 01-15-2004, 07:14 AM   #11
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Thanks for the feedback. We got our son when he was just an hour old and he never left our side other than to go back with the nurses for his 12 hour vitals and once for an hour to be with his birthparents. We don't know much about the birth parents other than what they told us. I'm not sure if they would be candid about any family history of problems. The BF had domestic abuse issues, but not substance abuse, as far as we know. Of course, we don't really know what went on during the pregnancy. Anyway, we go in for an evaluation next month. My first guess is still ADHD. My son generally only hits his brother, not other children. I think he may do it because it forces me to give him attention. Thanks for giving me some things to think about.

 
Old 01-15-2004, 07:27 AM   #12
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Re: 3.5 year old with A.D.H.D & O.D.D.

Moops, the symptoms you describe are not those of ADHD. Please look into other issues that could be causing this behavior.
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