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Old 01-22-2004, 05:38 PM   #1
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Unhappy does my son have hyperactivity

My son is 21 months old. From the time he was born he was a difficult child. He never wanted to sleep as a baby and cried constantly. He started to walk on his own at 8 months. He has not slowed down sense. He constantly climbs things like his dresser and his toy box. He has a very bad temper. He will hit,throw things, hit his head when yelled at or throw tantrums by throwing himself on the floor and will often slide across the room on his back. If we yell at him he will either throw something at you or hit you. We do not hit him but we do put him in time out in the corner. And even that is a struggle because he will try to walk out of the corner. We have to tell him repeatedly to get back in the corner. His new thing is to take all of his cloths out of his drawer,climb into that and then on top of his dresser where he will rip all of his wipes out of the warmer. I will take him out and put him in the corner and this will be repeated at least 3 or 4 more times throughout the day. I try to burn him out by taking him for walks which is hard in this freezing weather, I play with him most of the day. The only time I leave him unsupervised is to run down and do laundry. And that is all the time he needs to get into something. We have a small home and the only rooms he can have access to are the living room, his room and the hallway. I can not take him shopping AT ALL. He will cry, scream try to take the items off the shelf and throw them and also out of my cart and throw them. I wait until his dad gets home from work to go anywhere. In the morning when I am preparing breakfast he will stand at the gate and cry until I feed him. I don't let him in the kitchen for safety reasons. He is very smart though. He learns very quickly. I am a stay at home mom and also have a 12 year old son. I have never had any problems like this with him. I am hopefully going back to work in the next few months and cannot wait. I need to get away!!! My only fear is that I will get constant calls from daycare or worse they will kick him out. Please help!!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 
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Old 01-22-2004, 07:12 PM   #2
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Hi. The violence you describe from your son is pretty disturbing. ADHD symptoms, symptoms of hyperactivity can be caused by tons of issues. I dont know your son so I cant say if he has ADHD or not, but I can say that it sounds like he needs some help, and in my opinion there is something going on, but not ADHD.

Remember he is getting into the "terrible twos" stage, so things might be seeming a bit worse than usual. Also, keep in mind, many children his age need 100% supervision, this is normal.

Some tantrums should be expected from young kids, afterall they are not really able to communicate their thoughts to us many other ways. What you describe seems more severe than normal though. Do: Learning disabilities? Seizure disorders? Bipolar disorder? other mentall illness? run in your family or his dads family?
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Old 01-23-2004, 05:09 AM   #3
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Quote:
Originally Posted by * Free ~ Spirit *
Hi. The violence you describe from your son is pretty disturbing.
I have to respectfully disagree with this assessment.

Throwing things, throwing oneself on the floor, yelling, hitting, and hitting oneself are not at all uncommon behaviors for a frustrated 21 month old. From your description, "baby", I don't see a concern regarding the violence. What I would watch for as he gets a bit older are cruelty to others and cruelty to animals. Those would raise red flags for me.

Now, the frequency that your son displays these and other "hyperactive"-type behaviors is another matter. I think, at this point, it's just too soon to tell.

I recommend 3 things. One, wait and see before you decide on a label. Two, do some reading on dealing with the "terrible twos". He is definitely there! Three, take as much time for yourself as you possible can. Dealing with him all day has got to be exhausting; you need time to recharge.

Best of luck to you!

 
Old 01-23-2004, 10:13 AM   #4
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Quote:
Originally Posted by babybuttjd
He has a very bad temper. He will hit,throw things, hit his head when yelled at or throw tantrums by throwing himself on the floor and will often slide across the room on his back.
Well I guess it depends on how you read it html. "very bad temper" "throwing himself on the floor" of course the parent doing the observation may describe it as more severe than it is (not saying that happened here) but from what was said it sounds like this child is to the point of hurting himself. I find that disturbing. Like I said, some of this is normal with the age, but when it gets to a certain point it just is not normal anymore.
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Old 01-24-2004, 01:28 AM   #5
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

From personal experience I can tell you that I displayed similar behavior to that of your son at a similar age. (per my mom) I know every case is different, but it is likely that it's just his age and as long as this behavior is addred & punished he will eventually be over it. In my case I eventually calmed down once I got a little older and was later diagnosed with ADHD~ though the hyperactivity symptoms were less severe. I would tend to agree with index. Just watch from progression of symptoms, and see if it gets better or worse over time, or if there are any more serious concerns. If the problem persists or becomes more extreme you may consider seeking help at a later age. But be patient and give it time, chances are everything will be fine.

 
Old 01-24-2004, 06:06 AM   #6
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Smile Re: does my son have hyperactivity

I really appreciate everyones reply. He is definetly not violent towards animals. I have two cats and other then an occasional tug at the tail he adores them. He will try to hug and kiss them. The other day I watched my friends son who is one month younger then mine. And I must say that he interracted great with his friend. He did try to pull his hair once but after I scolded him he was fine. He even tried to console him when he was crying for his mom. He was trying to give him his bottle. I noticed a great different in the two boys. My friends son only knows four words. He just kind of mumbles to himself. It seems like my son is much more advanced then his friend. He can count to five. Knows at least 30 words and can put them together and speaks very clearly. He just seems very aware of what is going on around him. I wonder if he has these bad behaviors because he is bored? When he climbed on his dresser yesterday instead of yelling at him and putting him in the corner, I directed his attention towards something positive. We sat down and played with his blocks and I went over his abc's with him. He also loves to color so I will use that the next time he acts out. Well, thanks again and I will keep you updated on his progress.

 
Old 01-24-2004, 12:10 PM   #7
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Well, that is a discription of a wonderful, sweet, and curious little boy. He probably was bored when he climbed his dresser, bored and curious. He is still too young to be left alone, even if it is just for a couple of minutes.

From your earlier description I pictured a very wild, violent, child. After reading this though, I would definantly have to agree with html.
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Old 01-24-2004, 02:11 PM   #8
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

He does sound like a sweet, but typical 2 year old. I found that kids that age are alot like dogs since they don't associate their behavior as bad intil you let them know. They also don't understand anything about punishment or reasoning. I used to do the association thing that they recommend for dogs....a verbal, sharp reprimand followed by the physical at the exact time of the offending behavior....the physical meaning I would slap the hand or hit the bottom(pants down for sting effect). So after I firmly and meanly said "NO!", the slap would follow....stinging the skin does not cause hurt/damage and is effective because the noise also shocked my kids. This is really all they can understand at this age....later just the firm word of "NO!" would be something my kids would associate with the "sting" and the little slap wouldn't be necessary. Of course, when they responded to me by behaving, I'd switch on the smile and reward them with hugs, good boy, etc.

I don't know if that works with all kids but it did with mine, so I thought I'd share. I know spanking is not popular, but it does teach a basic concept of if you are physically destructive, you will suffer physical results....I think kids should also know this so as older kids, they don't think they can get away with being physical with others (like hitting, destroying other's property), because there are people out there who may just knock them to next week....they have to realize the consequences of their behavior in the real world I suppose, which can be unexpected for them if they haven't learned about consequences to physical actions against others.

So I feel I helped, especially my son, prevent from being hurt by others' physically because he does remember the physical consequence in life....he never started a fight in his life because of that perceived consequence I imagine?

Anyway, good luck, use your own judgement in the spanking area and give him your love above everything....he sounds very normal to me!

 
Old 01-24-2004, 09:32 PM   #9
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

HI

From a teacher who has seen my share of ADHD as well as growing up with my Hyperactive (but awesome ) brother, As well as my nephew (adhd and Pdd) I can empathize with your situation.

I do agree with your suspicion of the ADHD, there are checklists you can find online. Most States have an early intervention program (ages 0-3) that will evaluate and provide free services for your child.

The bottom line is you need a break. One thing about ADHD kids is they require constant stimulation and attention. Thats why a lot of people such as a grandparent or babysitter may say "he's fine for me" thats because the kid gets a lot of attention in these situations. The amount of attention ADHD children demand can be a burden. They are never happy to play alone and will ALWAYS be doing something to get your attention, bad or good. YOur newest tecnique, REdirection, is a good start, but that will wear itself out to. You may start to feel anger toward the child that he can not just leave you alone for a few minutes ever.

He is smart and may be bored as you say, but even children labeled as "gifted" often have behavior problems.

Having a "label" on your child can be dissapointing. But it could validate what you as his mother have know all along, that "something" is not right. Go with your intuition, everyone will try and tell you "hes just fine" its normal, he' ll grow out of it, etc." YOu see the child everyday and also have raised a child without these problems so you already know what is "typical"

Good luck, and take as many breaks from him as possible in order to keep your patience and stamina up.
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Old 01-24-2004, 09:36 PM   #10
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope2Heal
I do agree with your suspicion of the ADHD, there are checklists you can find online
Those checklists are unreliable enough for grown adults, using online surveys or even the regular checklists use by doctors to check for ADHD is simply ridiculous. At this young of an age it is impossible to know if a child is ADHD. And MANY children this age have ADHD symptoms so testing them so young is UNFAIR.
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:32 PM   #11
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Quote:
Originally Posted by * Free ~ Spirit *
Those checklists are unreliable enough for grown adults, using online surveys or even the regular checklists use by doctors to check for ADHD is simply ridiculous. At this young of an age it is impossible to know if a child is ADHD. And MANY children this age have ADHD symptoms so testing them so young is UNFAIR.

I wonder why people are so resistant to diagnosing a child "so young". It is never to young to notice chronic "symptoms" in your child such as insomnia and difficulty sleeping, excessive rage and nonstop motion and tireless physical mental activity in the child. AS I see it, a child who is hyperactive for real, is suffering in some way. It does not mean he is an unhappy child, just one who is struggling to overcome challenges that he needs an adult to assist with. The concern is to diagnose a child in order to help him, not to "label" him. Labels and diagnosis can change and hopefully they will. But its best to address and correct a problem as early as possible. - While I agree that some online lists can be wrong, you can get one from your pediatrition that coincides with your childs age, so you won't be asked questions like"turns in sloppy work" and "doesn't sit in desk" for a 2 year old. Instead, it should focus on things like developmental milestones and eating sleeping and behavioral patterns. Having your child seen be a nuerologist is the best way to get a good diagnosis. YOu may go with concerns about ADHD and turns out the kid has sleep apnea, a common disorder that casues behaviors like ADHD. Now wouldn't you be glad to have found that out now and be able to work with that rather then wait until the child is in grade school? I understand people are concerned about overdiagnosing, medicating and labeling children, but the truth is, mental, psycological and developmental disabilities are widespread and increasing everywhere in children and adults. The causes are still being researched (but not as much as they should be) and hopefully soon there will be answers and ways to prevent these problems before they happen. IN the meantime, trust your intuition as the parent, if you weren't REALLY concerned , you wouldn't have written in about it. No parent WANTS their child to have problems, if anything, many try to underplay a childs problem. Do what you can to help the child just as if you were concerned about a physical disorder. Good luck!
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Old 01-25-2004, 05:13 PM   #12
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Re: does my son have hyperactivity

Hope2Heal,
You suggested using an online checklist. I objected because these are innaccurate and most any child could be diagnosed as "positive" for ADHD. Diagnosing a child with ADHD at this age is unfair because many children have symptoms that go away by the time they are 6 (which is the recomended age for testing) and even then many children are misdaignosed.
Labeling children in itself is dangerous, if they are labeled wrong it doesnt matter, the effects of this label will be with them forever. If a parent is concerned for their childs health then a trip to the doc might be helpful, but seeking a diagnosis when its unnecessary is not!
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Old 01-31-2004, 11:05 AM   #13
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Smile Re: does my son have hyperactivity

i would tend to agree with "Hope" . I have 4 kids ranging from ages 23 to 11 and my 14 year old always "stood out from the crowd"! She sounds so much like your son it's scary.
She didn't get officially diagnosed until 5th grade, she was in a program for gifted kids, and what the teacher would do is give them all their assignments on Monday, then expect them all to be turned in on Friday. There was no actual structure to their week, and as anyone with an ADHD kid would know, they can't be completely without structure!
She would, from a very young age, throw screaming, kicking tantrums, she would throw herself on the floor when ever she got frustrated, she NEVER walked anywhere, she jumped,skipped, hopped every where she went.
My only regret is that even though I suspected from a very young age that she was hyperactive, I didn't take her to see a doctor for it when she was younger. I know it sounds stupid but I always thought that the doc would put her on these horrible drugs and that they would change her basic personality from the sweet, loving, giving little girl that she was into some kind of zombie!
Not only was I wrong about that but my daughter herself can tell me now that she knows she needs those medications. At night, even as a 3 year old she had a hard time falling asleep, she would tell me,"mommy, my brain won't turn off!" As a 12 year old she told me "mommy, before the medication I had to read those word math problems 20 times before I could grasp what I needed to do to get the answer. On the medicine I only have to read it twice!"
So you see, you need to go with your own gut feelings in dealing with your son. If you feel he might be hyperactive, then take him to a Doc, but trust yourself. What you do for him, you do out of love plus you know him better than anyone else. Good luck, I know how hard it can be to live with this!

 
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