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Old 01-29-2004, 08:10 AM   #1
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alisonmelia HB User
help

I have a 7 year old boy his behaviour has allways caused problems but has become much worse this year he is currently being assessed for adhd. The lady who saw him this week is sure this is the problem but i have to go through other proceedures before he can be diagnosed and treated. The problem is most of his class mates have alianated him because of his behaviour. However there is one boy in the class whom my son looks up to this boys parents dont care how he behaves so this is the reason why he behaves badly. I am not saying my son is an angel but he will now do whatever this other boy tells him to. This other boy was exposing himself to the girls in the class and my sons teacher made me aware of this he told me that he had caught my son trying to get this boys attention whilst exposing himself. I told my son that this behaviour wasnt appropriate but this week he exposed himself to 2 girls in a stock cuboard one of the girls has told her parents and they are keeping her off school until my son is excluded. I would do the same if someone did the same thing to one of my girls so i can understand. I really dont know what to do ive been trying to get my son assessed for over a year by the school and had no joy so i had to get him reffered via my gp i didnt know anything about adhd or how to do any of this so i am learning as i go along i dont know what to do with my son or what will happen if the school exclude him. My other children dont want to play with him and im at my wits end i dont know what to say to him about this insident because i am so disgusted myself i feel bad because everyone kept telling me he was a boy and would grow out of this behaviour and thats why i left it so long. I dont know how to handle him anymore and have just spent the last 20 min crying. I have 3 other children all girls and they all behave impecably but whatever i tell my son doesnt appear to get through. How on earth do i deal with this. I dont want to excuse my sons behaviour in any way but i have tried to tell the school to keep my son away from this boy to no avail. He is no angel in his own right but he wouldnt think of doing something like that himself. All he sees is that the other boy did it it was funny and nothing visable happened to the other boy when he did it so he has done it in order to prove something to this other boy. I know this to be the case because he did it 2 days after the other boy had done it and has never done it before. How do i appologise to the parents of this girl without it sounding like an excuse. How do i punish my son. And how on earth can i stop it from happening again plz help!!!!!

 
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Old 01-29-2004, 11:35 AM   #2
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Re: help

ADHD is most of the time genetic, it's odd that none of your other children have it.

Most doctors lable any troubling behavior as ADHD. It's very important to have your son tested for all other physical and psychological issues before just diagnosing him with ADHD.

Check this post and follow the link to see just some of the conditions that are currently being misdiagnosed as ADHD.
[url]http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=145951[/url]

The boy who taught your son to do this is NOT doing this because his parents don't care how he behaves. Children do not do things like this unless they have had some sort of emotional trauma or are mentally ill.

If the school won't keep this boy away from your son then get a restraining order. This boy is obviously unstable, though it's not his fault, he may end up hurting your son in some way, and that would be tragic. If the principal won't listen go higher up.

Most children thought to have ADHD do not have it. And even those who do have ADHD can many times be treated with methods other than dangerous medications.
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"It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!"
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Old 01-29-2004, 12:32 PM   #3
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Arrow Re: help

Kids ARE kids, and they do funny things. Definately a 7 year old that exposes himself for fun is probably just doing it for fun and the reaction that is gotten from it.

Most parents would never consider a mental problem for a boy who exposes himself to shock people. There are grown men and women who also have exposed themselves for the shock value who are not mental cases. I'm speaking of streakers here, not exhibitionists who flash people.

Your boy sounds normal, and may be one of those kids who is more of a follower. Could even be like others who would like to do something a bit risky, but wouldn't do it on their own..BUT is someone else started, its worth a chance to try it too.? Any of this sound familiar?

Girls and Boys can definately be different. Boys are not always prone to rules and structure. The school environment had definately changed through the years and offers little for boys who would rather go outside, play, wrestle, etc.

Stick by your son at all costs, speak reasonably to him about how following others examples are not the best choice to make...and have some very bad consequences.

There's nothing wrong with having him apologize (in person or in writing) for exposing himself.

The other boy may have problems of his own, and doing outlandish stuff is a way to get attention. Hopefully the school really does try to help the kid with his self esteem and potential.

Trust yourself, and your son. Talk to him and really listen to his thoughts and how he sees things. It can help.

 
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