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Old 02-24-2004, 02:10 PM   #1
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enki HB User
Dating someone with ADD

I have ocd but I can manage it well. This relationship I have been in for five years, best I've ever had. But the traditional habits that people with add have, like ending relationships prematurely plagues her/us. we always get back together (thank god) but is very tough on me. She also likes to drink which can bring out a monster in an other wise very sweet girl. Has anyone else had to deal with this type of situation in the past or currently? Any advice or tips? She was also told she has bad spacial reasoning if this helps any. Thanks guys.

 
Old 02-25-2004, 05:12 AM   #2
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Redhead23 HB User
Re: Dating someone with ADD

Is she getting any treatment for her condition? This makes a huge difference with regards to the prospects this relationship may or may not have.
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Old 02-25-2004, 11:27 AM   #3
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enki HB User
Re: Dating someone with ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redhead23
Is she getting any treatment for her condition? This makes a huge difference with regards to the prospects this relationship may or may not have.
No but I am thinking about it. I dont believe in taking drugs to mask a problem, I have seen my friends try that and it just leads to new problems down the road. I want her to see a therapist, but she wont go for it. I guess she needs to be willing to make changes on her own. Any other suggestions?

 
Old 02-25-2004, 01:21 PM   #4
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Re: Dating someone with ADD

If you don't believe in "taking drugs to mask a problem", then get her to stop "masking" her problem with drinking.

Last edited by brainf0g; 02-25-2004 at 01:28 PM.

 
Old 02-25-2004, 02:15 PM   #5
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enki HB User
Re: Dating someone with ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by brainf0g
If you don't believe in "taking drugs to mask a problem", then get her to stop "masking" her problem with drinking.
Yes very true my friend. Drinking brings out her alter ego, or maybe her true self? Her father is the same way. She only drinks on weekend but it causes problems to last the rest of the week! Yeah its a tough situation. Thanks for the advice though guys. Great forum here! Feel free to reply with advice, I wont get offended.

 
Old 02-26-2004, 04:43 AM   #6
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Redhead23 HB User
Re: Dating someone with ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by enki
No but I am thinking about it. I dont believe in taking drugs to mask a problem, I have seen my friends try that and it just leads to new problems down the road. I want her to see a therapist, but she wont go for it. I guess she needs to be willing to make changes on her own. Any other suggestions?
Medication is never meant to be the main part of treatment (alhtough many doctors think it will solve it all), but can be very helpful in people who have sever problems with concentration and impulsivity. If your head stil "spins", you can't take in any information and can't control your impulsivity, you can do as much therapy as you want and you're still not going to take it in properly.

Coaching can sometimes help someone with AD/HD get their life in order, therapy, counselling and self-help groups can all help get motivation and mood up if that is a problem, but you are of course right that SHE has to WANT to get help, unfortunately you can't MAKE her.

It may be a good idea if you read some books on the subject, like "Driven to Distraction", to help you understand her better and maybe encourage her to show a bit more initiative and get to understand herself better.
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Old 02-26-2004, 08:00 AM   #7
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Lightbulb Re: Dating someone with ADD

I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was in second grade and now I am 23 and completing my B.A. in Psychology in May. By just reading your post it defently sounds like she either hasn't been diagnosed with it or she is diagnosed with it but not getting any treatment. What do you know about ADHD in general? If you would like to learn more about it and how to communicate your concerns to her I can recomend several books and websites that would be of some intrest to you. I have heard from many sources that a combonitaion of medication and some kind of intervention, i.e. counseling and coaching, is one of the best ways to appraoch ADHD.



Quote:
Originally Posted by enki
I have ocd but I can manage it well. This relationship I have been in for five years, best I've ever had. But the traditional habits that people with add have, like ending relationships prematurely plagues her/us. we always get back together (thank god) but is very tough on me. She also likes to drink which can bring out a monster in an other wise very sweet girl. Has anyone else had to deal with this type of situation in the past or currently? Any advice or tips? She was also told she has bad spacial reasoning if this helps any. Thanks guys.

 
Old 02-26-2004, 09:17 AM   #8
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enki HB User
Re: Dating someone with ADD

Quote:
Originally Posted by smurfra
I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was in second grade and now I am 23 and completing my B.A. in Psychology in May. By just reading your post it defently sounds like she either hasn't been diagnosed with it or she is diagnosed with it but not getting any treatment. What do you know about ADHD in general? If you would like to learn more about it and how to communicate your concerns to her I can recomend several books and websites that would be of some intrest to you. I have heard from many sources that a combonitaion of medication and some kind of intervention, i.e. counseling and coaching, is one of the best ways to appraoch ADHD.
Yes , please post a few websites. I know a decent amount about it because people in my family have add or ocd. A few of my friends have it as well. What I do know is these people are very smart & creative. My GF is a musician so I am scared if she takes to much medication it may effect her creativity.

 
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