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Old 03-02-2004, 03:14 PM   #1
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Zipity HB User
Exclamation I'm scared and embarrassed

I got a new job about a year ago. It is pretty different than my last job. I worked retail before so I was up and around doing things and I was occupied. This new job is a desk job. I do computer and paperwork. I often put the jobs off until the last minute, and then don't have time to do them and they get done late. I've gotten in trouble here at work on more than one occasion for not finishing a job on time. I think it's coming to a point where I need to do something about it before I lose my job. Here is my problem. When I'm doing my tasks at work, I often times find myself wandering off to other things. Then I forget about the first thing and never finish it. Like I said, I will put things off several times before doing them. And it's not that I'm lazy or I'm a procrastinator, I just have a difficult time getting started on things. I forget things. I have to write myself note after note after note just to remember to do the simplest of tasks. I'm VERY disorganized. VERY. I think I'm going to get a "talking to" tomorrow at work because of a screw up. And I hate making excuses, but it's the honest to God truth. And it's embarrassing to tell them my problems. I'm 25 years old, and I shouldn't have to make excuses for myself like I do. I'm so upset right now about it and I don't know what to do. I don't want to go on another medication. (I'm on Zoloft for panic attacks and birth control) I also have IBS, so too many medications really can upset my stomach. I'm a little scared to tell my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years and we live together. He was very understanding during my panic attacks. But I could see he was a little uncomforable talking about it. I know I have nothing to worry about as far as him understanding, but I'm still scared and a little embarrassed. I think people think of ADD as something that "bad" kids have. Bad kids who get in trouble in school, etc. Oh, I'm rambling. Please if anyone has any advice on what to do. Please please share.

 
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Old 03-03-2004, 09:16 AM   #2
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Re: I'm scared and embarrassed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zipity
I got a new job about a year ago. It is pretty different than my last job. I worked retail before so I was up and around doing things and I was occupied. This new job is a desk job. I do computer and paperwork. I often put the jobs off until the last minute, and then don't have time to do them and they get done late. I've gotten in trouble here at work on more than one occasion for not finishing a job on time. I think it's coming to a point where I need to do something about it before I lose my job. Here is my problem. When I'm doing my tasks at work, I often times find myself wandering off to other things. Then I forget about the first thing and never finish it. Like I said, I will put things off several times before doing them. And it's not that I'm lazy or I'm a procrastinator, I just have a difficult time getting started on things. I forget things. I have to write myself note after note after note just to remember to do the simplest of tasks. I'm VERY disorganized. VERY. I think I'm going to get a "talking to" tomorrow at work because of a screw up. And I hate making excuses, but it's the honest to God truth. And it's embarrassing to tell them my problems. I'm 25 years old, and I shouldn't have to make excuses for myself like I do. I'm so upset right now about it and I don't know what to do. I don't want to go on another medication. (I'm on Zoloft for panic attacks and birth control) I also have IBS, so too many medications really can upset my stomach. I'm a little scared to tell my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years and we live together. He was very understanding during my panic attacks. But I could see he was a little uncomforable talking about it. I know I have nothing to worry about as far as him understanding, but I'm still scared and a little embarrassed. I think people think of ADD as something that "bad" kids have. Bad kids who get in trouble in school, etc. Oh, I'm rambling. Please if anyone has any advice on what to do. Please please share.

I can definitly relate with you on this one! I am 24 years old, I have always worked in an office type enviroment, I have gone through about 5 jobs since highschool. The place I work now, my position was an inside sales job, tons of paperwork, invoicing, deadlines, everything. My desk was always such a mess, I would try to figure out a routine but it usually only lasted a few days and I was back to my old ways, I would end up with piles and piles of paper and file on my desk. I was always putting things off then being rushed to get everything done. Once I messed up and lost some invoices which never got billed and I almost lost the company about $30 K just because these were lost somewhere on my desk. My boss was talking to me a lot......it was getting to the point where i was scared of losing my job. I made the decision when I found out our receptionist was thinking of moving to sales to ask my boss if I could have her job. He agreed and it was the best move I have ever made. I came to the conclusion that I just wasn't made for that desk job, it was too much for me to handle. My advise to you is first of all don't beat yourself up, I went home so many nights feeling horrible and crying to my boyfriend, that did no good. All i can say is you need to ask yourself if you see yourself working in this position in a few years? Do you enjoy what you do? I read a lot of books on getting organized, those help too! Good luck to you, don't feel embarrased, and don't be scared, everything will work out, just have faith in yourself.

 
Old 03-03-2004, 09:32 AM   #3
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Zipity HB User
Re: I'm scared and embarrassed

Oh my GOSH! I'm SO glad someone can relate! That sounds EXACTLY like me. My desk is always a mess. I lose invoices on occasion, never anything major, but enough. I've done the same thing. I'll try a routine, but in a few days, it goes down the tubes. I forget to call in purchase orders, then we don't get our supplies on time for our customers, then I'm in BIG trouble. It's so tough.

I DID talk to my boyfriend last night, and I think he was just shocked that I was so upset about it. I had never said anything to him before about my attention problems. He was there through all my panic attacks, so he's seen me at my worst.

So today, other than now, because it's lunch, I'm working my tail off to show them that I really can do it! I think I will take your advice and read some organizational books, maybe some self-help books. Thanks so much for responding and making me feel that I'm NOT alone!

 
Old 03-03-2004, 08:37 PM   #4
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steeplechase3k HB User
Re: I'm scared and embarrassed

It ounds like you might have ADD, I was treated for ADD starting in about 5th grade through college. I decided to stop afterwards and I'm glad I did. I sometims still have problems remembering to do things, I make pleanty of money to pay all my bills, but I often forget to pay them ontime, I do well at my job...

There is no reason to be embarrassed about having ADD, it something a lot of people have, and many do not take medication, I don't plan to ever again...
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Old 03-03-2004, 08:42 PM   #5
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Re: I'm scared and embarrassed

Anxiety which you mentioned you have, as well as many many other conditions cause ADD like symptoms. Have you had the symptoms your entire life? (as you probably know by definition some symptoms must have been present before age 7 for ADD to be a possibility)

You shouldnt be embarrassed about any problems you have. If you need a little extra help or time on things at work let your boss know. Explain a bit about how you learn best and how you get things done best. Maybe a plan can be worked out to make things a little easier on you? Or at least help others there understand you better.
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