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Old 03-11-2004, 09:52 PM   #1
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Talking i finally think i have my husband back ...

hi all,

on a wellbutrin/dexedrine/effexor combo, my dh is finally making progress ... he's been on dexedrine for about 10 days now, and that plus the wellbutrin have combined to make him more alert and energetic, meanwhile more able to "sort things out" ... as some of you know, he's been out of work since july (the hi-tech meltdown) and his symptoms have been getting worse ...

well, he finally submitted his resume today to a resume writer, she came back with some good suggestions, and he's meeting her on monday to discuss his resume (and spend $250), but he never would have admitted that his resume wasn't up to scratch -- ever ... he's more mellow, less anxious, more fun ... and i hope it works out ...

i can't find the post (i've searched and searched) that told me a few days ago that a wellbutrin/dexedrine combo would work, but thankyou, whoever you are ...

onward and upward, and i'll keep you posted ...

jb
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Old 03-12-2004, 06:12 AM   #2
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Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

It wasn't me who suggested it, but I am glad for you that things are going better!

 
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Old 03-12-2004, 07:10 PM   #3
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Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

Yay JB! I hope everything works out for the best for you and your dh. It sounds like he's finally on the right track. I've never heard of that combination before but hey-- never knock progress!
Barb
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Old 03-12-2004, 07:33 PM   #4
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Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

Glad hes doing well . Have the side effects you mentioned before gone away yet?
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Old 03-13-2004, 05:36 PM   #5
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Unhappy Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

no, the side effects have not gone away, so i suggested, with fear in my heart, that he only take 1/2 his evening pill ... and all hell broke loose ...

i went to him with a complaint, and that now i'm aware that i seem "all teeth and claws" to him so i tried not to be, he snapped at me and was rude, and i felt abandoned yet again -- he can be so hurtful! this lasted for about 4 hours, until he finally apologized ... but he thinks everything's all right again you see, when i've been so hurt by him ... year after year ...

our counsellor said this might happen, but also assured us that with the new tools we have (learning how each other feels, basically), that it might be ok ... it wasn't ... i tried to draw back and say "do you hear what you're saying? listen to how you sound!" ...

he's taken a whole one tonite (bosmom: someone made a post to me and suggested wellbutrin/dexadrine, that he [the guy who posted] was better on it, and since the dh was already on wellbutrin/effexor -- also a treatment for ADD but quite useless as far as i'm concerned -- we went for the dexedrine too, and reduced the effexor to as low as he can stand), so i hope all goes better ... he suspects i'm going to leave him sometime -- hell, i said it! -- so knows how serious this is ...

still, i find it humiliating to have to reach out to touch him, ask him to hold me (not even in that way) ...

so i hope it's better tomorrow, and i'll forget about this blip (except it's not one, to me) ...

jb
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Old 03-17-2004, 07:14 PM   #6
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Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

It seems as though you two are having to get to know each other all over again. We all grow and change but I think it's especially difficult when one has ADD. I think (at least in my ds's case) the meds stop working so well after a period of time and have to be changed. Do you think that was part of the problem in your dh's case? I know there's a lot more to it than that but I can only think in simple terms lately.
Don't depend on him for your happiness. Do things that make you happy. And buy you a big soft cuddly teddy bear to hold when you feel the need for that kind of stuff. Believe me, after a while, it works! Just remember, it takes time. Try your best to relax. He expects the same reaction from you in whatever situation you're in-even when you know you're doing your best to change. Trust me, it's going to take a long time for his trust to return and vice versa. You'll both probably be on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while. I've been through this one. My dh told me he was sometimes afraid because my reactions were so unpredictable. And to a certain extent, I felt the same way about him. We're still working on that one and we're doing pretty well with it now. It's taken over a year to get to this point. Sure, I want more from him than what I'm getting now. He feels the same way. But we're both working to meet in the middle-and that's what counts.
It's tough but you'll make it. You always did.
Barb
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Old 03-17-2004, 11:04 PM   #7
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Cool Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosmom
It seems as though you two are having to get to know each other all over again. We all grow and change but I think it's especially difficult when one has ADD. I think (at least in my ds's case) the meds stop working so well after a period of time and have to be changed. Do you think that was part of the problem in your dh's case? I know there's a lot more to it than that but I can only think in simple terms lately.
Don't depend on him for your happiness. Do things that make you happy. And buy you a big soft cuddly teddy bear to hold when you feel the need for that kind of stuff. Believe me, after a while, it works! Just remember, it takes time. Try your best to relax. He expects the same reaction from you in whatever situation you're in-even when you know you're doing your best to change. Trust me, it's going to take a long time for his trust to return and vice versa. You'll both probably be on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while. I've been through this one. My dh told me he was sometimes afraid because my reactions were so unpredictable. And to a certain extent, I felt the same way about him. We're still working on that one and we're doing pretty well with it now. It's taken over a year to get to this point. Sure, I want more from him than what I'm getting now. He feels the same way. But we're both working to meet in the middle-and that's what counts.
It's tough but you'll make it. You always did.
Barb
i just lost my post, which was quite dashing if i do say so myself, but yeah -- we had a much-less-than-better day today, and will have to learn that we'll stumble a bit and not to freak out ... i doubt that my dh's meds are wearing off because he just started them about 10 days ago ... but when your DS's wore off, how long did that take??

and i know i've made it before bosmom, but thanks for having faith in me ... sometimes i think the only friends i have are on this board ...

jb
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Old 03-18-2004, 06:31 AM   #8
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Re: i finally think i have my husband back ...

We had to change his meds. He's growing so fast now I think we barely can keep up with his meds (or his meds keep up with him!). We had to keep increasing his meds. He's on 54mg Concerta now and has been for almost a year now. He likes the Concerta better because there's no ups and downs during the day. I have noticed he's getting more mouthy lately but I think that's attributed more to his being 15 with raging hormones than Concerta.
You're in my prayers, JB. It's tough having someone you love going through this and you going through your own illnesses like I am. But I'm telling you I can feel your strength. Get that teddy bear and let me know how it works.
Barb
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