It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



ADD / ADHD Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-14-2004, 04:48 AM   #1
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
please help my son

my son has had ploblems from the first day he went to school his first teacher wrote on his report card that my sons mood governs whether or not he completes tasks and whether or not he takes part in class activities and in the worst case scenario he is violent towards his peers the rest of the time he is charming and helpful he finds it extremly hard to focus on anything other than what he has chosen to listen to and his behaviour can be quite disruptive he expresses himself quite well and talks confidently to his peers although the speed of delivery sometimes leaves us behind my sons success depends on how much attention he has given beforehand he likes art and design especialy large model making not fond of drama but loves singing and has a good sense of rhythmhis next teacher said that ryan was popular but often fell out with friends he has a bit of a temper at times and has to work to control it he listens for short periods of time and can be distracted he can write a story with diff types of supporthe is making good progress with numbers and rarly reverses them he can be quite competitive he likes to be the leader but needs to listen to other childrens ideas he tries hard to concentrate he tries to be helpful but often blowes up but never means it and is getting better ryan has been quite calm this year but needs to widen his group of friends my son has been allowed to progress at his own speed as he does not like to be held back or pushed forward his next teacher (sorry if i am going on a bit but my son is 13ys old now and he needs help) he can be pleasant ,polite and willing to chat but responds to praise and will seek attention through inappropriate behaviour works better independetly he tries hard to listen though has lapses in concetration over long periods i would like ****(my son) to take more responsibility for his actions his next teacher wrote that ****(my son)is well aware of right and wrong and knows when he has misbehaved but wont always admit this he will be encouraged to be less aggressive and modify his lauguage quite bright if you get a good working relationship with ****(my son) he will give some exellant results his next teacher said that ****(my son) has tried hard to improve his attitude both for his school work and other people this falters from time to time he works best when given specific attractive goals or rewards he is easily distracted from work and benifits from sitting on his own he can listen attentivly when the subject matter really interests him his reading has made steady progress in written tasks attention is needed on spelling and hand writing he has good ideas for storywriting but requires support to settle down and organise them into a written piece of work his next teacher said that he must put his writing skills into practise he needs to develop more self control and self disipline he looses consantration easily but willingly takes part in oral work he can be careless in his appilcation to his maths although he does have a firm understanding he lacks confidence can someone please help me as he is getting worse he thinks the world is againt him and often gets fustrared by this

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-14-2004, 05:53 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,949
index.html HB User
Re: please help my son

Hi Poody,

Has your son had a complete evaluation done? He needs a thorough learning evaluation which can be done by the school and a thorough psychological evaluation which the school may or may not be able to provide.

I couldn't tell from your post whether or not any testing has been done...

 
Old 03-14-2004, 07:58 AM   #3
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

no not to my knowledge there is a phycoligist working with him in school but i am not being told anything i have phoned her but all i was told was she needed to see his guidence teacher (we live in scotland) and havent heard anything back

 
Old 03-14-2004, 11:16 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,949
index.html HB User
Re: please help my son

If it were me, I'd set up a meeting between the psychologist, the guidance teacher, yourself & your spouce to review what evaluations have been done and what conclusions have been reached. Then, I'd request that a thorough learning evaluation be done. In the States, psychological and learning evaluations are done separately. Wish I knew more about how things are done there so I could offer more help...

Last edited by index.html; 03-14-2004 at 11:17 AM.

 
Old 03-14-2004, 11:47 AM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

thanks for your help it is much app but do you think my son has a problem

 
Old 03-15-2004, 02:45 PM   #6
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

i spoke to the school phycologist today and she has spoken to his guidence teacher and she doesnt think my son is that much of a problem although he has been theatened will expulsion twice since nov 2003 that and we had parents nighttwo weeks ago and his german teacher said (she) in all her teaching career had never tried to teach a child like my son another teacher said that she had changed her room layout to accomidate him and he still managed to distract the whole class another said she had found a way to teach him without him realising this another said if he wasnt so likable he would never be in her class he would forever be in time out (a place he goes with supervision) he has had loads of written punishments which he finds hard to do as copying is diff for him and he also has had many detensions for forgetting stuff for school even although i ask him twice or three times each day if he has every thing he needs and also for his behavor i have put him on a be good at school and you will be rewared daily then weekly then monthly with things i know he really enjoys he is coping ok but 1 week is a small step for us but a big one for him but he is stressed already i can see a disaster on the horizon but we have to keep encouraging him i am also trying him with fish oils but on the whole they think i am way to worried but she the phyc has agreed to look at his pupil profile and ask for a report from his (academy) high school to you but she will only get this if his guidence teacher agrees to this and then see how things go

 
Old 03-17-2004, 08:27 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Rochester, NY USA
Posts: 950
sawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB User
Re: please help my son

Poody, it would be really helpful if you could use periods and paragraphs. I'm having a hard time reading enough to understand exactly what your son is experiencing. Has he been like this throughout each grade? Do his report cards show good grades and the social area lacking? My son (12) was like this throughout his schooling. We had his behavior evaluated and found that he was more ODD than ADD. ODD - Oppositional Defiant Deficit (I think that's the official wording) is treated by behavioral modification. It's very important to take a hard look at how you are responding to his actions. This doesn't mean that you are nice to him all the time, there are times to be firm and nonreactive as well as times where you need to take action. I'll check in from time to time and see how you are doing. It doesn't sound like your son is abnormal. If he's cute and, as you say people like him, he may just like all the attention good or bad. Maybe the teachers need to ignore those actions that generally he would expect a response from.

 
Old 03-17-2004, 10:56 AM   #8
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

hi sorry about the way i wrote things but i need advice. Yes he has been like this all through his schooling,with good and bad bits but he is like a kid running on battries as he describes himself. His mind wonders a lot, his writing isn't readable unless we keep rubbing it out and forcing him to do it so that it is readable but the time and effort is unbearable. It can sometimes take 2 hours to do what any reasonable child would do in half an hour. He treats everyone as equal to him, no one above or below him. He is very untidy and messy but he likes to be clean personally and smells all clothes before putting them on, and only wears them for a couple of hours before they go in the wash. If my son likes something he become addicted to it its like an obsession but on many occasions things begged for have only held his attention for a few hour and he becomes bored with them.He is a very restless boy he cant sit still even if you try and make him, you can be talking to him and he has to move his arms and legs, look round about but seems to hear you at the same time.His grades are middle of the road but all his teachers say he is capable of doing a lot better if he would just apply himself,he has a quick temper that has been see on many occasions,that is the main reason for his expusion threats,he is very impulsive you dispair at him sometimes.he loves to build thing from lego he can look at the picture on the box and build it from memory but yet not understand a simple instruction,as for how we deal with punishment,we work a goal,reward system where you set the goal and the reward but we try and make sure it is something we know he will try hard to get,no money involved just a few hours of his fav computer game,a couple of hours with his friend but if there is no good behavior no reward this works as i said for a while then he gets bored and then we have to start again and reinforce the positives we have been trying for 8 years now we have highs and lows but what i worry about most is his futre

 
Old 03-17-2004, 11:54 AM   #9
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 58
moreinfoneeded HB User
Re: please help my son

In the UK there is an organization which offers some useful information into various behaviours.

It seems astonishing through all these years that no one has taken the time to offer you and your son any support and/or direction.

The group is called National Healthy School, Health Development Agency.
Their web site has an information series called "Wired for Health".

You may find some useful information there. As well if you branch to the contacts section you may want to write to them for further information in Scotland. [P.S. this board does not allow URL's to be included, sorry.]

Here's and address of one organization in Scotland that does offer some useful information and support:
The Mental Health Foundation Scotland
5th Floor, Merchants House,
30 George Square, Glasgow G2 1EG
Tel: 0141 572 0125 Fax: 0141 572 0246

 
Old 03-17-2004, 03:49 PM   #10
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

hi i cant seem to understand that web site you mentioned but will look back later when im not so tired.My son has always been labled as disruptive,often aggresive,lazy,a class clown but my son doesnt like people laughing at him.He (I THINK) does this when he can't cope its his release (IF EVERYONE IS LAUGHING THEN WONT NOTICE I AM STRUGGLING WITH MY SCHOOL WORK).The school psycholigistsaid a funny thing,a child like my son could be told by a teacher (IF YOU HAVE'NT FINISHED YOUR MATHS,DONT GO ON TO DO YOUR ENGLISH BUT TO HIM IT COULD SOUND LIKE IF YOU HAVE'NT FINISHED YOUR MATHS DO YOUR ENGLISH) (mind they have'nt told me what a child like him is)but she said he finds it hard to follow simple instruction. They dont want to label him but in my eyes he is already labled.We have a system in place ,so that he has something to do every night of the week,if his behaviour is accepable and at the weekend,well i ask my sister to have him over as this gives us a break from trying to entertain him,and we can spend some quality time with his sister who is going on 7.So my son's day is normally about 15hrs long what with school,karate,golf,the driving range(golf not cars)going out with his friends,playing his ps2,on the computer,winding up his sis.So as you can see we have to fill his time in order to keep him occupied as boredom means no peace for him he paces gets aggitated and jittery.Oh and he said a funny thing about one day in maths, he said he knew what to do but could not get it out of his head and on to the jotter and needed more time i told his math teacher this and she said she would try to give him more next time so far so good i know it sound like he is getting help but not being assesed to see what the problem really is but will keep pushing

Last edited by poody; 03-17-2004 at 04:07 PM. Reason: more info

 
Old 03-18-2004, 07:37 AM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Rochester, NY USA
Posts: 950
sawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB User
Re: please help my son

My son also becomes overly focused on something and won't stop until he has it. He gets very upset and asks about it every day. For example, he was supposed to wait until he was 14 to get a paintball gun (he is 12 and his brother didn't get one till he was 14). His birthday party was at a paintball place playing paintball. Then a friend of his asked him to play at his house (the family has 3 acres) and couldn't believe it when my son said he didn't have a gun. He was so obsessive that we agreed to letting him get one, but he had to pay half for it since we were getting it early.

He does this with other things too. When he sees something - an electric scooter - he'll argue that his cousins have one - what's the big deal why can't he get one. I told him, ride your bike you need the exercise why would I get you something to get around with when your a kid and should be riding a bike? That is one battle he didn't win. It took a while for him to get over it and still to this day when he sees one he'll go check the price and come back and tell me it's only so much. I'll just say 'uh huh' and not any more.

One problem that I created with my son (my older son doesn't have these issues) is that I 'instantly gratified' him with things or if he whined when he was younger I'd quickly appease him. I used to play games with him and let him win - I thought I was building his self-esteem. What I was creating was a poor loser. When I began to win, he had a hard time, got mad, didn't want to play any more. It took a while but he is beginning to be a better loser. Sometimes I think I created the 'habit/problem' with him. Others I know are just in him.

Taking the time to work with him scholastically helped when he was 5 and 6. I did Hooked on Phonics with him. That really helped him start out well and at least this was one area where he wouldn't struggle.

I don't know if my rambling has helped you poody but as my stories come out with your questions, maybe in a bit I'll have helped you somehow.

Patience is the best teacher. So is natural consequences.

 
Old 03-18-2004, 04:12 PM   #12
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

Hi i have just recently discovered the adhd sighs and symptoms, so always thought my son was just as everyone had labled him,lazy aggressive moody only interested in thing he liked ie (spoiled) never listens to a word you say unless it was what he wanted WHY BECAUSE he can listen, he can consantrate, he can acheive we have worked on his moods explained and explained you can't always get what you want, taught him to save, made him look at us when we are talking to him, oh the list is endless we have tried so hard with him as we know he is a loving caring person but prone to out bursts of fighting, swearing, playing the fool, and yet easily embarressed we have worked hard at only giving on a good behavior reward system because with my son when instant gratification was given he wanted more the next time it's hard sometimes but we keep trying i just wish them you know those who think you are being melodramatic when you finally realise your child has a problem and drag their heels, bare in mind we have coped with these constant problems for eight years and while it was easier to give in it's much kinder in the long run to say no and learn him we will give you what you need but what you want you must save for if you have seen my other posting you will see just how hard it's been for him to and yet he still give an outward apperance of a happy child yet inside he is in his own words fustrated because no one understands him not even me oh it breaks my heart as he suffered so long in silence but hopefully help will finally get to him thank's for listening again all eyes and ears much appreciated

 
Old 03-22-2004, 04:53 PM   #13
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 7
Kathy8 HB User
Re: please help my son

I agree with the replies I've seen so far, that a thorough evaluation needs to be done. If the school system can't or won't do it for you soon, take a look elsewhere for medical or university related sources who may be able to look more thoroughly into the specifics of his problem. He may have ADD, he could also have specific learning disabilities, visual learning problems, or who knows what, given what seems to be a range of skills. I think it's important to get him some help, so he can be more successful and feel better about himself, particularly at that age! Good luck.

 
Old 03-23-2004, 03:55 AM   #14
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 16
poody HB User
Re: please help my son

[Hi went to the doc yesterday he agree's with me and his dad,that he has problems and has referred him to a pychologist so in time we will hopefully, get to know what his problems really are and hopefully help him cope

 
Old 03-23-2004, 10:26 AM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,949
index.html HB User
Re: please help my son

Quote:
Originally Posted by poody
[Hi went to the doc yesterday he agree's with me and his dad,that he has problems and has referred him to a pychologist so in time we will hopefully, get to know what his problems really are and hopefully help him cope
I'm glad that you got the referral you needed, poody. You're on the right track - finding out exactly what is troubling him. I suggest that you make sure the psychologist knows that you want a *thorough* evaluation done; don't limit him to testing for ADHD.

Also ask the psychologist to help you pressure the school for a thorough learning evaluation. Your son needs it and you are entitled to it!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Arthroscopy procedure PLEASE HELP! yoga gal TMJ Disorder -TemporoMandibular Joint 75 02-25-2011 04:18 AM
Please help with my back problem ELBOW2HEAD Back Problems 1 04-21-2010 05:23 AM
I need some advice , please help.... wantbhappy3 HIV Prevention 19 02-24-2010 05:21 AM
Suggestions needed please...Epstein-Barr brawndo78 Swine Flu (H1N1) 15 05-23-2009 05:39 PM
Please Please Please some advice.... iwntnormality HIV Prevention 9 04-09-2008 07:40 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Adderall
Amphetamine
Concerta
Metadate
Methylphenidate
  Prozac
Ritalin
Strattera
Wellbutrin
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



addprogrammer (94), janewhite1 (90), Thunor (48), marisuela (15), iluv (10), addventurous (10), Administrator (9), LessStress38 (9), CharBerry (6), Wootton (6)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1168), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (899), Titchou (836), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (748), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:29 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!