I am a grandmother with a 10 year old grandson living with me. He is the light of my life but definately has ADD and is on concerta Our problem is homework When we help him with a problem He would rather be in charge than right case in point we were working on spelling words he insisted that strange was spelled strang we told him if he changed the a to o he would spell the word strong he was livid that it was strang what can I do to help him without 1 Killing him 2. turning the situation into a win win any suggestions :
With spelling you could sugguest that he look up words in the dictonary. However, this is hard for some kids with adhd. I have my son type words into Word Perfect and do a spell check. He is more responsive to the computers spelling advice than he is mine.
I really agree with Evad. I think your situation is very common. Sometimes it is really hard for people to back down from any position they have taken, even if they know they are wrong. I would assume that the more you push the issue the stronger your grandsons insistence that he is correct. Once a power struggle has begun there can be no real winners. A more relaxed approach to "homework help" may make him more receptive.
My sugguestion would be to let him have the final say on his homework since it is his responsiblity. Let him get things wrong and his teacher will correct him. After awhile he may be more inclined to accept help from you especially if he feels it is more of a sugguestion.
I think it is awesome that you are working so hard with your grandson. I can tell from your post that he is well loved. Keep up the good work and keep us posted on how it is going.
I think the suggestions you have already received are good ones.
Here's one more. How about turning spelling words into more of a game to diffuse some of the tension? My 10 year old loves it when I do this. Sometimes, it's just counting how many he gets right and if he gets more than half, HE WINS! Sometimes, I toss him an M&M after each correctly spelled word. You might also make it a game of one step forward for each correct word (or problem, if it's a different subject) and one step back for mistakes. Again, more forward than back equals WINNING! See if he improves the next day. If so, he double-WINS! Winning doesn't even usually involve rewards at my house; just a gleeful shout "YOU WIN" makes my son happy.
Oh, one more thing, if you're not already, you might want to try doing them earlier in the day before the med wears off...