what to do now???? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

manalynn_007 · 10-24-2004, 02:57 PM

hello, i am new to this community and NEED to get some input!!
i was diagnosed with add at the age of 6. i want to give as much detail as possible(complete details render complete advice...right??). so here it goes...i was put into a special needs class at the time of diagnoses. the form of education i recieved was basically none. i was taught the same things year after year with no new material. at the age of 8 i was diagnosed with a learning disability. i believe this new "lable" was do to lack of new material. the special needs class ranged from severe mental retardation to ld. there was 1 teacher and 1 aide, not nearly enough. when i was 12 i was diagnosed with chronic depression. nothing was ever said about it again. to make a long story short... i graduated high school without ever taking alg., or ANY gen.ed. corses. i was pretty much put in a resource room and forgotten.
now to tell the tale of my family. wow this is really hard!!!!!!!!! my parents were VERY abusive. i was alot better at handling the psyical abuse of my STEP-father then i was a coping with the mental abuse of my mother and siblings. i was the "stupid" kid. noone was ever there to help me with my homework, to teach me life skills, or to teach me ANYTHING for that matter. but when report cards came i was beaten with a belt for every f, a paddle for every d, and an open or closed(depending on how mt STEP-fathers day at work went) for every c. i think this was to prevent me from failing my classes, didn't work.
i have a hunger inside for an education, i want sooooo much from this life. i am now 25 years old. i have no job, no car, no $, no life skills, no motovation. i don't know where to even begin buliding MY life. i keep thinking if someone would just show me the starting line i'll be ok. i have lived ALOT of life, and lived through ALOT in this life, i know i can one day be better then what i am now, i just NEED (a) person to support me emotionally.
i feel like i am feeling sorry for myself, but i just want to go to work and come home, be able to clean my house, be able to be able. i know i'm not stupid, i have taught myself everything i know by reading at the library. from medical books to cook books

i would rather be in a college classroom.
at any rate this is the basics, i just want some advice on how to start living instead of just floating!!

thanks for taking the time to listen. manalynn

manalynn_007 · 10-25-2004, 12:27 AM

well, i guess i'll do this alone and blind. thanks to the members who read my post, just seeing that someone took the time to at least read it gave me some personal hope. thanks again

index.html · 10-25-2004, 03:00 AM

Manalynn, I hope you are still here. Sometimes the boards are slower over the weekend and you have to wait to get a response.

You sound like an incredibly courageous and intelligent person. Despite your description of an inadequate education, your post was well written and very moving.

My best recommendation for where to begin is with a counselor. I think if you could find a counselor whose background is social work, that'd be best. Besides offering the emotional support you crave, they could steer you toward other resources in the community to get you headed in the right direction. There are agencies that work on a sliding scale payment system and wouldn't cost you much (if anything). I'd try looking under "social services" in the phone book as a starting point.

Getting a job - any job - would also be a help. It takes money to survive in this world. Start with a menial job (maybe retail or cleaning houses) and try to put aside some money to further your education. There are books written about cleaning if you feel inadequate in that department.

Good luck to you Manalynn and God Bless! You may not feel like it, but you have alot going for you! I agree with your self-assessment that all you really need is someone who can help you get started.

sawbuck44 · 10-25-2004, 06:57 AM

It sounds like you have your own house. You may be eligible for education $ and other assistance. A good start would be to find a social worker to investigate what is available to you. If you have no job and no skills, you may be able to get a grant to go to college. One good thing about going through a bad childhood is that we are a resiliant creature. It sure sounds like you are. Even just recognizing the fact that you have much more potential than was realized by others is a great motivator. You can come out on top and show your family that you made it in spite of them. Every child needs someone to care about them and help them achieve their best. Did you ever get meds for the ADD? I just started my 12 yr old son on meds. This is only the second week and I'm still watching how he's doing. It's scary to use meds and scarier (I finally realized) not to give him meds because he was not doing too well in school. He was always an A and B student but the last two years has slipped in some C's.

Anyway, make some phone calls, do some research on the web, and don't give up! If I survived and exceeded my expectations from a not so good childhood, you can too! I'll check back to see how you're doing. Take care and we do know you are here.

index.html · 10-25-2004, 08:39 AM

Manalynn, just checking. Are you still with us?