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Old 12-22-2004, 02:19 AM   #1
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cre8v1 HB User
Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

First of all, I'd like to apologize since I know this will be long. I just really need to express my self realization and get advice. Well...I am 35 going on 36 in a couple of months and just finally realized the reason for all of my lifelong struggles...ADHD! Now I am working up the courage to go to the Dr. to get this all "diagnosed"! I won't bore you all with all the past history of how I've come to this realization but I will say that I've been through more jobs than I could even count. Now I also have diabetes which was first thought to be depression/anxiety. In fact during that time I was seeing a therapist who mentioned that he felt I may actually be ADD but never followed up on it!

What has caused me to realize that something else was going on with me is the how it is affecting my life currently...especially since it has been affecting my marriage and the upkeeping of my household. My DH has given up on me working and so I have been a housewife fulltime for at least 8 months or so and I still can't even get that right! I've always had a hard time with falling asleep but lately it's gotten worse, if I do fall asleep it's very easy for me to just snap awake. I feel that I can't get my brain to slow down!

Now here's my main problem...I am also trying to get pregnant and both my gynecologist and family doctor told me that it does sound like I am ADD but need to see a Psychiatrist to give the final diagnosis...but both of them advised me not to take any medication for this condition. So what are some alternatives for this...and I was informed it may even get worse during my pregnancy!

In addition to this, I just published my first children's story and because of my past failures due to my ADD symptoms, I'm beginning to feel that this whole venture may not be as successful as it possibly could be!

At this time in my life I feel both relieved yet afraid. I feel relieved for finally having an idea of what has been my "problem" but afraid of how I will or if I ever will be able to overcome this! I am totally overwhelmed with all of the information and don't even know where to start!! Can someone offer me some much needed advice on what I need to do here!
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Old 12-22-2004, 02:42 PM   #2
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Vintage Wine HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

I was diagnosed at age 35. Go ahead and get the diagnosis but DO NOT take any medication while pregnant. I did, however, actually read something about a woman who was ADD and got off her meds while pregnant and said she felt fine...something about the increased Estrogen levels help with focusing....I dunno.

Anyway, if it will make you feel better, go get the diagnosis from a psychiatrist and inform him that you are trying to get pregnant.

There are many books out there on Adult AD/HD that are so informative. Just educate yourself a little at a time.

Welcome to the rest of your life! It will get better, I promise!

 
Old 12-22-2004, 09:52 PM   #3
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cre8v1 HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage Wine
I was diagnosed at age 35. Go ahead and get the diagnosis but DO NOT take any medication while pregnant. I did, however, actually read something about a woman who was ADD and got off her meds while pregnant and said she felt fine...something about the increased Estrogen levels help with focusing....I dunno.

Anyway, if it will make you feel better, go get the diagnosis from a psychiatrist and inform him that you are trying to get pregnant.

There are many books out there on Adult AD/HD that are so informative. Just educate yourself a little at a time.

Welcome to the rest of your life! It will get better, I promise!
Thank you so much for your reply! In fact I just made my appointment today, it's in a couple of weeks. I do hope that things get better! I do feel better since I've found this board just by knowing that I'm not alone...anymore!
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Old 12-27-2004, 02:25 PM   #4
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Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

I just read your message and I joind so I could reply to you! I hope I do this right! I was diagonsed with Adult ADD in 1980 when I was 32 years old. I was in a double blind study at the University of Utah Medical Center to test medication for adults. At the time I had two sons who had been reciently diagnosed
with ADD and doing quite well, however I was still doing terribly. I was an underachiever in school. I was always told that I needed to try harder. I cried all the time because I really truly tried as hard as I could all the time! Back when I was in school I was just naughty. Something in me
just knew that I was a good person and that some day I would be smart and not dumb as even my mother told me! (Can you imagine that?)At 32 I was so blessed to get help. Shortly after getting my life in control I was able to join the Air National Guard (with a waiver from my shrink).I have
"managed" my Adult ADD since the onset of the double blind study. I was so proud when I was able to "follow through" and retire from the guard. Inbetween all of this I raised three awesome children, now adults with my two sons managing their personal challenges with Adult ADD. I've
been able to help others. Teaching parenting classes has been a total joy and now my own children call me and ask for help in many aspects of their childrens' behavior. [ removed ] Life is way good. You have a lot to look forward to! I hope this give you some peace, hope and a vision to a wonderful future.

Last edited by moderator2; 12-27-2004 at 07:32 PM. Reason: please carefully review the posting rules - no emails

 
Old 12-29-2004, 06:19 PM   #5
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cre8v1 HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

First of all, thank you for your kind message of hope! It's so good to hear from two people that have shared with me that there is hope for this. It seems amazing to me that both of you also were not diagnosed until your 30's! I'm so glad I found this website for the information and responses are helping me deal with this greatly. In my family no one understands what I'm dealing with...no one else in my family has been diagnosed with ADD. But I believe that it's because our family has had a few of us with the symptoms but because it never interferred with their lives they never felt a need to seek diagnosis for it. Anyways, in January I'm almost positive that I will be diagnosed, then see where I need to go from there! Thank you, thank you again!
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Old 12-29-2004, 11:49 PM   #6
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lateeth HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

If you are concerned about the upcoming pregnancy and live in a big enough town to have a choice of docs, I would encourage you to call around to OB's and frankly ask the staff if they have experience with taking care of mom's with ADD. I did this when i was pregnant as i am a vegetarian and did not want to get started with a doctor who insisted i had to have a steak every night for my baby to be healthy. I have two very healthy children and had an OB who had no problem at all with me as a patient.

 
Old 01-02-2005, 01:57 PM   #7
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JT95 HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

30 yr old male here. Just had my first appointment with a psychiatrist last month and was diagnosed ADD. Do make an appointment and get evaluated by a doc--make sure you find one who has experience with adult ADD, otherwise the experience may leave you feeling frustrated.

While I have not been pregnant yet , my wife has been twice. There are some good reference books out there that highlight the possible pregnancy dangers attached to nearly every pill on the planet. I would say most ADD meds are risky for a pregnant lady. One thing that might help is to take all your prenatal vitamins and focus religiously on a healthy, balanced diet. Pregnant women seem to do a better job at that for some reason, and a healthy balanced diet can sometimes make a slight difference for conditions like ADD.

There are a few good books out there for adults with ADD/ADHD. It's worth buying a couple and reading them to give you a better understanding of yourself. One of my prompters of finally going to the doc was that I could tell my ADD was/is putting a strain on my marriage. I have learned that ADDers have a higher rate of divorce than the average adult, so that stuck with me.

Last edited by moderator2; 01-03-2005 at 07:46 PM. Reason: please do not post commercial websites

 
Old 01-03-2005, 07:38 PM   #8
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seriousperson HB Userseriousperson HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

I'm 51 and divorced, and may be about to lose another job because of my ADD behavior. I was just diagnosed, and wish it had been pointed out to me much earlier. So, I can thank my boss even if she does recommend my contract not be renewed and my high-school daughter and I become homeless (over-dramatic, I know).

I agree with your observation that now everything makes sense. I recall in my younger years that guys would invariably tell my girlfriends that I was "nice, but crazy."
And I recall having to write "I will not talk in class" 300x.

So far, the medications have not done a lot for my ADD. But just being aware has been very enlightening.

 
Old 01-03-2005, 08:04 PM   #9
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goingood HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

I am ADHD AND I DO KNOW THAT CONTROLLING YOUR DIET CAN HELP ALOT. TRY STAYING AWAY FROM RED AND YELLOW FOOD DYES THEY AFFECT THE NERVOUS SYSTEM WHICH INTURN EFFECTS THE ATTENTION SPAN. DOING DAILY EXCERCISES OF READING OR CONCENTRATION HELPED ME BUILD A LONGER ATTENTION SPAN

 
Old 01-03-2005, 11:21 PM   #10
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comeonnow HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

cre8v1, Gosh, you sound a lot like me. Of course, maybe a lot of us women with ADD are basically alike with a lot of the same symptoms. I bet you have trouble keeping an orderly house, don't you? It's so hard for me to keep things in order and I have a tendency to accumulate piles of things and am constantly looking for something and losing things. It drives me and my husband both nuts. I have trouble dealing with a lot of things, holding down a job being one of them. Oh, and I always have about ten projects going at a time here at the house and it takes me forever to finish one. I don't know if you ever read the comic strip Family Circus where the one kid is so active and goes all over the place and there are dotted lines drawn as a trail of all the places that he's been during the day and things that he's done, but that would be me. It's not that I'm hyperactive, but I just have a lot of different things going on that I'm working on and never seem to get finished until days or months after I start them. Don't feel bad about just now coming up with a diagnosis of ADD at your age. I was diagnosed when I was 45, and I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with things and straighten out my life. Most people are helped by ADD medication, but I think I'm one of the 20% who aren't, as I've tried Adderall, Ritalin, and Dexadrine, all to no avail. That doesn't mean something won't work for you though, but I wouldn't take any while being pregnant if I were you. I think there are getting to be more and more good books out there on Adult ADD. Right now I'm about halfway through one called Women with Attention Deficit Disorder...it sounds so much like me it's scary! I think most of my life I have always felt different and finally I have a label for it. My husband told me that he always thought that there was something about me too but didn't know what. I must say that ever since I was diagnosed, he's been much more tolerant towards me. He used to really get upset and I'd be so hurt by the things that he would say.
My advice would be to definitely go and get a diagnosis, read all you can about ADD, and try to get others to understand what you face in your daily life. I don't think people have any idea what we go through and how much anguish we feel. I don't know about you, but I've felt like a failure most of my life. I really hope we can both get on the right track!

 
Old 03-19-2005, 02:11 PM   #11
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littlecrystal HB User
Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

Hello, this is my first time here so please bare with me. I was FINALLY diagnosed with adult ADD.I'm very thankful to know that there are other people who understand because half of the time I don't .

 
Old 03-21-2005, 02:37 PM   #12
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Re: Hello, I'm a newbie here and need advice!

You said you had trouble holding down a job, but being a housewife was just as hard. I can totally relate. Working FOR someone, in a company or office environment is really hard for people with ADD. Usually the just-starting-out jobs are (gasp) ORGANIZATIONAL and involves a lot of detail-oriented menial tasks and memory skills and of course organizational skills that we just aren't equipped with.

Also working under somebody usually doesn't work well for us either because 9 times out of 10, your boss is a type-A, by-the-book, neat freak, my-way-or-the-highway tight-****. They can't understand or respect our need to be creative and do things differently. It is really hard for ADDers to ever advance in their jobs because of this very reason. Since we are stuck trying to prove ourselves in tasks that we're not good at, we can't get promoted to doing the things we ARE good at. WE are the ones who need secretaries so we can focus on being productive and creative. But unfortunately it is hard for non-ADD people to recognize this roadblock that we are coming up against.

The big mistake most of us make is thinking that "if I can't do this easy secretary job or this research assistant job, how can I ever expect to handle anything better?" Instead of seeing the problem as being assigned to the wrong task for your abilities and skills, we think that we have to MASTER those stupid organizational skills first before we try for the "harder" things.

But whenever you hear about a success story for a person with ADD, it is usually somebody who said "to heck with the system," decided exactly what it was he/she wanted to do in life, then skipped right to the top by himself. It requires a lot of backup (secretaries, assistants, an understanding family) but in the long run that person is totally fullfilled because they are able to do that thing that they are GOOD at, and leave the paperwork and scheduling and stuff to others who are better qualified.

It sounds like you are going in the right direction with your Children's Book!!! Bravo on taking the risk. If writing is something you really enjoy doing, I'd say go for it. There are books on ADD and creativity, and ADD and self-employment that you would probably find very interesting. It might help you narrow down your writing interests to fit your personality and gifts. When you do that, it will really show in your finished product.

By the way, every ADD book I've ever read says that a housewife is the absolute worst occupation for an ADDer. It is BASED on organizational skills, scheduling, memory, planning, keeping up with things, keeping things in order, and keeping everyone else organized too. Yikes. I'm trying the housewife thing right now, and it is a miserable disaster.

I don't want to work anymore either, because it's so demoralizing and depressing. Right now, I've got a freelance job drawing up some floor plans for a new housing development (something I like to do, and I can work my own hours and do it MY way). I graduated in interior design, but I hated working as a decorator's gofur. How degrading and un-fullfilling! And I always screwed up something, which is really embarrassing when you can't even do a seemingly simple task like file an invoice or take a phone message. *cry* But I love drafting floor plans, and this seems right up my alley, AND I can still stay at home with my toddler son! I hope you find a similar compromise with your creative streak, family life, and need for a sense of accomplishment and worth. Good luck with your book!

Amy

 
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